Some December Pictures and Thoughts

I haven't posted pictures in way too long, so I thought I'd remedy that with some highlights from December. They are celebrating Christmas with the Riegseckers (my Mom's maiden name) with Grandma reading The Little Matchgirl to some of the "greats" as they call them, celebrating with the Lugbills (at night and the next morning), Gingerbread houses with our wonderful and silly neighbor Amy, and Kole's Christmas program for Salem Pre-K. Mrs. C has been both Braden and Kole's teacher and I can't imagine a more incredible person to teach my boys. I can't wait for Owen and Selah to have her too, Lord willing! We have just bought a new camera to replace our REALLY nice old one (we needed some money-go figure!-and were ready, for a season, to have a smaller point and shoot camera), but it's hard to get used to. There were many more "duds" to go through, so we're going to have to get better!

With my family going to Brazil/Paraguay, we were at our house for the first time in our married life on Christmas morning. It was a little lonely for me, but still good. Karl's mom, Pat, was with us for the week, so that was nice and Karl's brother and their family came down from Wheaton, IL Christmas evening for two days, which was also a treat. My family skyped the same evening, and even though it made me more lonely, it was good to see and hear them for some time on Christmas. The kids had already opened their stockings and we don't do nearly as many presents as Grandma and Grandad, but it was still special and just nice to be together. And it still felt like Christmas, just different then the traditional.

Of course, I also thought a lot about Selah. I listened to Third Day sing "Merry Christmas" (I bought it on itunes, actually!) about their adoption experience, and found myself wishing so badly she was here. We have gotten updates on her progress, and she's doing so well! She's growing great and her pictures are precious. The Burk family, who was just in Ethiopia picking up their precious son, sent me my new favorite photo of Selah. She's looking so big! I can hardly stand it. They said she's easy to get a smile out of, which warms a mother's heart, but we had only seen it once in a picture, so of course I was thrilled to see a second smile. I find myself battling between being so happy that she's growing, and wanting her to stay small so we can experience first hand her growth. Of course, I know I should just be 100% thankful, but it's so hard--something I don't even know how to verbalize completely--to know that your baby girl is so far away and experiencing so much without you! I find myself thinking, "I have no idea how I'm going to make it for another month until court!" And I don't even want to go there if we don't pass court. Ahhh! I know with everything in me that God will continue to sustain us no matter how hard and long our wait is (and I also know, comparatively, how incredibly short our wait has been), but it's like trying to anticipate tragedy before it strikes and realizing you could never handle it....and then it does and there is grace and strength for the moment. Do you understand the parallel I'm making? I know God will be faithful, I just can't think about the wait now or I literally think I start to go crazy!!! I really need God's grace to focus on the here and now and not wish away the next month or two (or three or four).

We have another full week trying to visit with out of town friends and family and enjoy our last week of no school. We are so blessed by all the people in our lives. Thank you for the part each of you play. If Selah was here, I think I would have actually sent out a Christmas card (gasp!), but right now I'm really hoping for an Easter card. Can you do that? I hope so! Merry Christmas, everyone, and Happy New Year!

Court date news!

We just got back from a wonderful Christmas weekend at Mom and Dad's and Grandma and Grandad's in Ohio. It was a little different this year with the Lugbill clan (my maiden name) taking off today for two weeks in Brazil/Paraguay minus the Black clan, but it was still really special, it's just I keep thinking Christmas has already passed and it's still 5 days away!

We came back with an unexpected e-mail from Terra Bailey, our new family coordinator since Duni moved back to Ethiopia. Here's an excerpt from it:

"I am writing you today to inform you of a change in America World's process regarding communication of court and travel dates. AmericaWorld will now share with families their issued court dates at the time they are confirmed. Please note the following concerning court dates:

• Roughly 30% of families do not pass court on their first issued court date.
• If a family does not pass court initially, court dates are then issued approximately 1-2 months after the original court date.
• Families can expect communication from America World roughly 24-48 hours after their court date. It is our desire to contact families with the news of court as quickly as possible. America World will have no additional information to offer families until we receive confirmation from Ethiopia. Unless an urgent issue arises, we request that families refrain from contacting us regarding updates on court.Please rest assured that we will be contacting you as soon as we have any news."

Our court date is scheduled for February 2, 2009!!! If we pass, we would then expect to travel 2.5 to 4 weeks later. We should get specific tentative travel dates (was that an oxymoron?)within the next two weeks, and I'll be sure to let you know. Mark your calenders and please pray! Pray however you feel led. God knows what He's doing, but I sure hope it's in His plan for us to pass the first time; however, we have had so many friends not that we are not going into this with our eyes closed. We just want to get Selah home asap!!! Her little stash of clothes and other goodies (Mom and Dad just bought her a precious doll for Christmas!) is quickly growing...now we just need HER. I'm getting SO ready with each passing day. I just put an 8x10 up of her on one side of the fireplace mantle with the boys' framed pic on the other side. I will leave you with the verses I'm going to be repeating over and over again in the next 6 weeks:

"Do not worry about anything, but in everything, with prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:6-7

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Hope Lives: Week 3

First, I had to start this blog off by saying my sister's beau is absolutely hilarious. If you all recall the modeling fiasco that took place several months ago, this will make more sense. As if all the publicity my stunt got wasn't enough, I guess Eric thought maybe I would like to see the ULTIMATE publicity--a billboard. You're great, Eric. Thanks for making me laugh once again. The only thing this has to do with our Hope Lives book study, though, is perhaps that more people should spend their money on helping the poor and less on gambling. That's the best I can do....

Week three is entitled "Understanding Poverty." The beginning focuses on "For Such a Time as This"--that famous verse from Esther and how she was put exactly where she was supposed to be to save her people. We have been placed--most of us, that is--in the wealthiest country in the world. We have opportunities galore, at all different levels. Why? Ephesians 2:10 says, "We are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Think about all we can do here in America!!! And then there's the infamous, "To whom much is given, much will be demanded." (Luke 12:48) So, first questions:

(1a).What good works do you think God may have prepared for you to do? I know that for me, Africa is part of the equation. Months ago (well, years ago, but it just clicked within the past year) God made it clear that for me to experience more of God, there would be involvement (in some way) with Africa. The problem is, I don't know what. I looked into helping out Africans formerly (in a hands on way) in the area, and didn't find anything through World Vision or as I googled, but I know there are African families living around here. Our adoption has something to do with these "good works", of course, but I also know it's not the whole picture. There's just so much good to be done, I need wisdom to know where and how and who....without getting so overwhelmed I don't do anything.

Bono has a great quote: "God is in the slums, in the cardboard boxes where the poor play house. God is in the silence of a mother who has infected her child with a virus that will end both their lives. God is in the cries heard under the rubble of war. God is in the debris of wasted opportunity and lives, and God is with us if we are with them."

Amber VanSchooneveld talks about the causes of poverty:

1. Natural disasters
2. Environmental changes (natural and man-made)
3. Wars
4. Ethnic hostilities and racism
5. International trade law and tariff structures
6. Government corruption
7. International debt
8. Social and personal sin
9. Social injustice
10. A lack of education and opportunity

She then talks about something Wes Stafford has coined the Poverty Wheel which helps us to focus on the whole person. "In the center of the wheel, the hub, there is absolute poverty. The outer rim represents enough. The opposite of poverty isn't wealth--it's enough. Enough food to live, enough shelter to remain safe and dry, enough opportunity to become a self-sustaining member of society, enough dignity to be the person God created you to be. The six spokes of the wheel represent the various areas of life that must be intact for "enough" to occur. The spokes are economic, educational, health, environmental, social, and spiritual. As with an actual wheel, each spoke is necessary for the stability of the whole. When one spoke is week, it has an impact on all the others." (92). That's why person-focused and holisitc help is what's essential.

Because it's so easy to be overwhelmed by statistics, the next day is focused on specific children and people who grew up in poverty and have overcome/are overcoming the cycle. They are individuals, not statistics, and "they are...what hope is about." (100)

There is included an interview with Wes Stafford, who has worked at Compassion International for 30 years, 14 years as president. He is amazing. And so knowledgable, as well as compassionate. He said, "You cannot have a more powerful word to describe the cure for poverty or for empty hearts that should be reaching out to poverty than hope." His stories confirm that this is true in my mind. It is true that the need is so great that it often feels like the little I do wont make a difference, so why should I even do anything?!? Totally a lie, I know, but it is easy to feel this way, nonetheless. Likewise, and yet very differently, if there is no hope for those who are impoverished, there will be no change either. If a child growing up in a city dump believes that no one cares whether she lives or dies, then she will not fight for change. Fight for...anything. But if she starts to realize that she has value, amazing changes can occur. "Stepping out of poverty is learning that I matter. If I matter, what I think matters. This is where beating back poverty happens. When a person realizes what they think matters, they gain confidence. They say, 'Let me tell you what I think'...eventually, they'll say, 'You see this over here? This is wrong, and I'm going to fix that.' When a child goes from "I don't matter" to "I can fix that," you've just won the war on poverty." (104)

Lastly, the last day focuses on "The Greatest Poverty"-the poverty of the soul. Amber says, "I am in the greatest poverty....when I eat my fill and lounge on my couch, while thinking only fleetingly of others not as materially blessed as I have been. My poverty is real when my love is deadened, medicated, frozen by too much. And my soul is maybe in even more danger than those in the poverty of too little." (109). Also on this page, Mother Theresa, one who saw wretched poverty, had this opinion about the worst poverty: "to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish." Oh my goodness. How do you deal with that?!? That is me, Lord. Children die that I could have a hand in saving if I wasn't so careless about our food budget, or are clothing budget, or our entertainment budget, or, or, OR. And yet, once again, I find myself saying, "But what, Lord?" What would you have me do? What would you have my family do?!?" I still don't have the answers and I still feel so burdened knowing that we're not doing it right. I really need your help, Lord. I want to be obedient, no matter the cost.

So, I already posed one question, but other questions for the week include these:

1. How has your concept of poverty been challenged?
2. Do the people in poverty seem real to you, like flesh and blood? Write about your perceptions, and perhaps misconceptions, about those in poverty.
3. How do you think hope relates to poverty? Do you have hope for those in poverty and your part in reaching out? Why or why not?
4. Do you agree that poverty is a spiritual issue? Do you believe you are involved in a spiritual battle yourself? In what ways?
5. How has your perspective on poverty changed this week?
6. Thanks for hanging in there with me for those that have been waiting for this. I have really been struggling with this issue for about a week. I have a friend that was teasing me and made some comment about "Poverty this, Poverty that. Danielle, do you talk about anything else?" Now, he was totally teasing me as he has a big heart for social justice and the poor as well, but it really bothered me for a totally different reason. I think I'm pretty much all talk. Huge confession, I know, but it's true. I mean, besides our adoption, I do SO LITTLE for the poor. We sponsor a child. We, VERY rarely, donate our time to the homeless shelter. We give financially in other ways. But we truly do SO LITTLE...and yet I, at some level, project that there's more going on. In my mind, yes. But faith is about ACTION, too!!! Anyway, those are some of my struggles right now. I would love feedback.

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We are here! We are here! We are here! We are here!

When I was thinking of how to start this blog, the above repetitive phrase from Horton Hears a Who seemed quite appropriate. Life has just felt overwhelming as of late. Not in a about-to-have-a-nervous-breakdown sort of way, just in a can't-keep-up-and-not-feeling-overly-motivated-to-try kind of way. Thus, the silence.

But tonight I am sitting in front of a softly glowing fire, enjoying the solitude and my spinach pomegranate salad. In this moment, life is good, life is quiet, and there's no where else I'd rather be (except, perhaps, Ethiopia picking up a special someone).

Mmmmm!!!! I love this salad!!!! I wish I could share it with you faithful readers...wait. That was a lie. I'm glad no one else is here so I can gobble every last piece of it up. By the way, did you know pomegranates are only available here November through January? So, the obsession is very short lived and you have to grab all the gusto while you have the chance. As one of my boys recently said, "My mom's crazy about pomegranates."

The phone is ringing and there is almost nothing that will make me move from my spot right now and answer it....even when it's my mother-in-law (sorry, Mom :) )

Okay, enough tangents and on to the good stuff. First, an update on Miss Selah. We have gotten TONS of great pics from recent traveling families. We have compiled a "short" photo album that I carry with me, and a much larger album where I keep every pic we've ever received (even if just part of her head happens to be in the corner of someone else's baby shot or the photo is so blurry you can barely make her out!) In that album, I think I have about 30 pictures. It's so wonderful! Oh, you guys! She's incredible. I cannot WAIT to meet her. Hutchinsons delivered her first care package two weeks ago where we crammed an outfit, a stuffed giraffe, a blanket, and our family photo album (the great cloth kind babies can chew on and treat really rough) into a gallon ziploc. On December 21, another group of five families leaves to meet their little dears, and on December 27, the Tennants will be leaving to pick up their son and will be taking Selah her second care package. This one is more practical: a pants outfit, an adorable little dress with the bloomers from baby Gap (on clearance for $9.99!), a shirt that says something about loving lots of kisses, an age-appropriate little toy, and a Christmas ornament I had made for one of her nannies with her being held. Hopefully, this will be easier to cram in. There are three other families also hoping to travel December 27th (although two of these families have not passed court yet), and then the next tentative travel group with four families is scheduled to leave January 17. According to the YG list, we are 7th on the list of families waiting for tentative travel dates after the January 17 group. We are really, really, REALLY hoping to travel in February, although we know that nothing is certain. To put it in perspective for you non-adoptive readers, of those ten families who were most recently trying to pass court, four of them did not for various reasons. It is very possible this could also happen to us. Court days are filled with mixed emotions for those of us watching: extreme joy for those families who now "officially" have a son or daughter and extreme sadness for those families who are told something wasn't right, they will need to wait yet again. I think this past court was especially emotional for me for three reasons: 1. Many of the families that I have followed most closely because of their dates being so close/the same as ours did and didn't pass. 2. The Joners, who have been through so much after losing their precious referred daughter, Julia, in August to pneumonia, failed to pass court. Fortunately, they will not have to wait as long to go before court again and may still be traveling December 27th along with the Savages and Tennants. 3. In my mind, the results of these court dates directly impacts our future travel dates.

As November 19 was the day of our referral, I'm really hoping for an official update from America World sometime in the next couple of weeks. Selah was very small at the time of our referral (although "moderate" by Ethiopian standards) and I am hoping to see she's gained weight as they are very scheduled about the babies feeding times, even waking them in the night from what I've heard. We are supposed to get updates every month with new weights/heights/etc., but according to families in front of us, this is not a guarantee. That's why these pics from other adoptive families are such a lifeline. My friend Shelley commented that she only had one (I think!) picture of each of her adopted boys when they were in Africa and how her one son would just love some pics now. I feel very blessed for the commitment of these other families to painstakingly photograph all of our kids at the Transition Home. THANK YOU GUYS!!!!!

So, how is that for updated info after almost a month of silence? I guess I had more to say than I thought. Speaking of that, tomorrow (I promise. Really.) I will post week three comments/questions of the Hope Lives study I was so passionate about. I think I'll do most of it tonight, but I don't want to overwhelm and thus make people miss all the good info in this post because of the other one, so I thought I'd wait a day. Grace and peace to you.



Red Letters campaign- Adoption Journal