One Family

Kisses from Katie

2012-02-05T09:07:00.000-05:00

Wow, it's been a really long time. I started working (for money, that is ;) in December and my free time meter went down so drastically, there's little time for freelance writing! But, as I sat here and stole a few moments to read Kisses from Katie my heart was resounding so strongly that I had to jump on and write an excerpt. PLEASE read this book!! And in case you didn't know, by ordering it from christianbooksbibles.com and putting Awake&Alive as the promo code, you get free shipping for orders of $25 or more and Awake and Alive raises more money to start the school for children in Kechene, Ethiopia.

Many times, as I looked at the candle illuminating my room on those dark and sometimes lonely nights, He reminded me that I could light candles in the hearts of others as long as I let Him fill my heart first. He reminded me that I was indeed the light of the world and I was to shine before those around me so that they would glorify Him (see Matthew 5:14). In the soft glow of candlelight one black night in my room, I opened my journal and began to write: My candle is lit; I am on fire for God, for this place, for these people. My purpose here is to spread His light. One candle can light up my entire room. Jesus can light up this entire nation, and my flame can be a part of that. I am blown away that my Gd, who could do this all by Himself, would choose to let me be a little part of it.

This is my heart's cry, as I imagine it's countless others' as well. May we all be strong and courageous in order to put this cry into action, by the grace of God!!

Today's Jesus Calling Devotional

2011-12-09T09:40:00.000-05:00

Many of my Taylor girlfriends on our last trip together were reading the book Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. Since then, I have also started and found it so simple yet so powerful in my own life. Today's spoke so to me that I wanted to share it with those of you who don't have it yourselves:

Be willing to go out on a limb with Me. If that is where I am leading you, it is the safest place to be. Your desire to live a risk-free life is a form of unbelief. Your longing to live close to Me is at odds with your attempts to minimize risk. You are approaching a crossroads in your journey. In order to follow Me wholeheartedly, you must relinquish your tendency to play it safe.

Let Me lead you step by step through this day. If your primary focus is on Me, you can walk along perilous paths without being afraid. Eventually, you will learn to relax and enjoy the adventure of our journey together. As long as you stay close to Me, My sovereign Presence protects you wherever you go.

What outlandish, scary dream has God put on your heart?

Seek Him, and then...
GO FOR IT!!!

From the mouth of babes...

2011-11-05T10:51:00.000-04:00

I was going to post this as a facebook update, but it's too long and I have pictures to go with it :) So, my birthday was this past week and with Grandma and Grandad's money, I got some cute stuff to wear--including a fun pair of boots and an INCREDIBLY high pair of heals from Charlotte Russe (Karl measured--4 inch heals). I LOVE them for a totally impractical way to change things up for a night out, but the kids were intrigued to say the least. They all (yes, even the 10 year old boy) wanted to try them on and walk with them. Mom doesn't usually wear such things.

So, after trying them on, Kole had some very wise words. First, he said that he was glad he wasn't a girl. And then, the real wisdom poured forth:

"They look good, but they sure don't feel good."

Can I get an amen from any ladies out there? I mean, seriously. Didn't he just sum up women's fashion? With the exception, perhaps, of the silky, flow-y shirts and, at some level, leggings that are in right now, women's fashion is NOT comfortable. Whether it's skinny jeans, tight....well, everything, or high heals (and corsets back in the day), women have regularly had to choose between what "looks" good and what feels good. Thanks, Kole, for saying it so well. You are wise beyond your years!

September and October...where is the fall going?!?

2011-10-23T18:09:00.000-04:00

This past weekend, Awake and Alive had an amazing fundraiser at Fruit Hills Orchard and Winery complete with a chocolate fountain. The kids are REALLY enjoying all the leftover chocolate. In fact, fruit and bread dipped in chocolate sounds like a pretty good supper tonight, don't you think?!

Sorry for the gore, but it is almost Halloween :) Owen is thrilled to be like his older brothers and finally lose one of his two "big" teeth. I'm not sure this one was ready to go yet, but he was determined!

My precious college roommate Brooke (also a consortium student during our semester abroad in Kenya) drove all the way from Grand Rapids with orchard apples and her fancy applesauce maker (I'm sure that's not really what it's called) just to help me make freezer applesauce. It was so productive (as you can see!) and SOOO much more fun. I can understand how doing things in groups/pairs of women can make ALL the difference--even when working.

Owen tried baseball for the first time this fall and did a great job! It's called Fall Ball and it's much more laid back, so all 3 boys practiced and played together. While soccer seems to be where Owen naturally shines (notice the shoes), he loved the chance to do what the big boys were doing.

In early September (I know, I'm a bit behind) the Vagnoni family organized a huge weekend get-together with fellow America World Adoption families near Chicago. It was wonderful to meet new people and see so many beautiful Ethiopian children. Selah and the boys had a lot of fun, too.

Yes, I did go all the way back to the first day of school and yes, Braden getting on the bus at 6:45 a.m. deterred us from getting pictures before school started, but these were just too cute not to post somewhere~ Usually, I think Owen is more of a combination between Kole and Braden (which he is), but above, MAN! K, O, and Karl look SO much alike!

Another thing I didn't really blog about in the last several months: We got our first dog, Mia Mae for all the kids' birthdays in May. From the beginning, she didn't eat well. But she was so sweet and friendly. But less "puppy-like" than we would have guessed. She spent two wonderful months with us, but then we learned heart-breaking news: Mia Mae had been born with liver disease which was causing her issues with eating, most probably, not being able to learn to be potty-trained, and her stomach started getting bigger and bigger (because fluid was really starting to build up). After lots of tests (money!), we discovered that there was no other option for us--she would need to be put to sleep :( You can imagine the heartbreak this caused. The breeder has agreed to give us a new puppy, but that probably won't happen until next May or later, so we just wait until then. We will always remember our precious first puppy--little Mia Mae.

So, there you have it. Life is full. Ups and downs. Easy times and difficult ones. But God has been teaching me in this season more than ever about PRAYER and BEING THANKFUL....because whether we know it or not, we all need Jesus, and we all have a lot to be thankful for!

P.S. As a TOTAL sidenote--Awake and Alive is planning our first mission trip for the launch of the school in Kechene, Ethiopia September 8-15, 2012. If you are interested, please contact us at info@awakeandalive.org.

Annual Camping Trip

2011-09-24T12:42:00.000-04:00

I cannot say enough how blessed I am by the family in our lives. We are far from perfect--every family has dysfunctional parts to them, right?--but they are INCREDIBLE. This particular weekend is the annual boys' camping trip with Grandma and Grandad, going strong 3 years now. They always have the best time with some of the traditions like homemade milkshakes, smores and hobos on the fire, and hiking. This year also included bike riding on trails and horseback riding for the two older guys and Grandma. Thanks, Mom and Dad, for all the memories....next up? The Hobbit put on by Bethel College's Theater Department for the two older boys--one of Braden's favorite books he's read! He's such a smarty pants :)

A Morning Devotional/Reflection Time

2011-08-28T21:28:00.001-04:00

I absolutely LOVE my sister. While growing up there were a lot of years where I was the no-it-all, annoying older sister OR just completely self-absorbed in my own life's happenings, in our adulthood, my sister is one of my favorite people in the world and, according to her, feelings are mutual :). She is wise, introspective, smart, thoughtful, and unconventional. Since Alyssa came back from Paraguay especially (just in time for Selah to come home from Ethiopia 2 1/2 years ago!) our friendship has deepened and I often look to her to discuss what I'm pondering or for prayer...or for a much-needed babysitter! So, there's a little background on my amazing sister.

The picture is from this Spring when my mom was honored by the YWCA for being a nominee for their prestigious "Women of Distinction" award. My sis is the one standing next to Mom. My bro and sis-in-law from Chicago are sitting next to Karl and I.

On Saturday morning my precious sis and I went walking/running for 6 miles. She is my motivator for such distances as she has a decent amount of experience participating in half-marathons. A mile was an accomplishment for me, but I have slowly gotten more motivated this year as I have seen/felt the positive mental impact of exercising. I digress. Alyssa handed me a copy of her morning devotional taken from a little book called Celtic Benediction by J Philip Newell. As I read it, it was so meaningful that I wanted to share a portion of it with you. May it draw you closer to your Creator:

"Prayers of Thanksgiving and Intercession

For the night followed by day

for the idle winter ground

followed by the energy of spring

for the infolding of the earth

followed by bursts of unfolding

thanks be to you, O God.

For rest and wakefulness

stillness and creativity

reflection and action

thanks be to you.

Let me know in my own soul and body

the rhythms of creativity that you have established.
Let me know in my family and friendships
the disciplines of withdrawal and the call to engagement.
Let me know for my world
the cycles of renewal
given by you for healing and health
the pattern of the seasons
Given by you for the birth of new life.

Pray for the coming day

and for the life of the world

Closing Prayer

In the busyness of this day

grant me a stillness of seeing, O God.

In the conflicting voices of my heart

grant me a calmness of hearing.

Let my seeing and hearing

my words and my actions

be rooted in a silent certainty of your presence.

Let my passions for life

and the longings for justice that stir within me

be grounded in the experience of your stillness.

Let my life be rooted in the ground of your peace, O God,

let me be rooted in the depths of your peace."

I love my family!

2011-08-24T10:14:00.003-04:00

Dad and Mom did not disappoint with Staycation 2011. There was a picture scavenger hunt (very creative...if you see Karl, ask him about the rabbit....), a VERY involved treasure hunt, fishing, lots of ice cream and great meals, beach volleyball, wiffle ball, tether ball, devotional time, pizza and movie night, Euchre, and lots of swimming and good conversation. My only wish is the next one wasn't a year away!

Our birthday girl

2011-08-23T08:54:00.000-04:00

Our Precious Selah Joy Gelila. Life wouldn't be nearly as colorful without you in it. We love you so much. I am loving having Selah at home by herself. We're even doing a bit of "homeschool"--as she proudly tells people. I'm clearly biased, and I love every minute of it! :)

I heart Staycation pics (And Africa, too!)

2011-08-11T17:22:00.002-04:00

It was a WONDERFUL staycation at the Lugbill Resort ( :) ) and with our precious family from Cali and Chicago that we don't get to see often enough. Selah especially enjoyed time with her cousin Lila and we all enjoyed loving on the newest member of our family--one month old baby Liam. We are so blessed.

Revisiting a great song.

2011-07-29T16:38:00.001-04:00

"God is looking for people through whom He can do the impossible-what a pity that we plan only the things we can do by ourselves." -A.W. Tozer

One Story of Passion

2011-07-25T10:30:00.005-04:00

We are at the end of our first fundraising goal to raise $5000.00 in order to feed 90 young, school-aged children (4-9 years) in Kechene, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. We are about halfway there and believe that even in these tough economic times, we at Awake and Alive have caught a vision for something bigger than ourselves and are trusting by September of 2012 we will open a school there. God is moving--in our lives and in the lives of countless others.

Due to recent conversations on facebook, I've been thinking a lot about why I choose to focus on helping African children while there are hungry children here in the United States. This is not unfamiliar territory to my individual thought process or to the great debates of culture worldwide. This has often and will often be a response when someone is doing something elsewhere--whether you're talking about adopting a child, raising money, or starting a school.....elsewhere. It's worth considering. Because they're right. There are hungry children here--millions of them. I tutored them last summer. I'm sure I pass them on the streets and don't even know it. And no child deserves to go hungry...or not go to school....or not have a family.

I wanted to talk about my experience concerning why I have chosen this path of focusing on Africans--both overseas and in our community. It's kind of long, so feel free to skim or skip to the end if you're overwhelmed with the details of my story :) I won't be offended.

I kind of feel like I didn't choose Africa. Africa chose me. When I went on my first overseas mission trip to Kenya, Africa in 1995, I had no idea what I was getting into. In fact, I can remember watching a video about long-term missions in Africa and thinking, "That's all well and good for them....but, God, please don't send me to Africa!" My, how things have changed!

After totally falling in love with the people and place those 16 years ago, I did a "semester abroad" where I lived at the same University (Daystar) and, on the side, worked with the same group of "street boys" and their counselors where I had been 2 years earlier--a ten minute walk from the University. I also had the privilege of going into the capital of Nairobi and eating lunch with street kids in the big, local park there. It was a life-changing 4 1/2 months, to say the least! In fact, when I came back the U.S. in May of 1997 I was sure that I would be a missionary to Africa one day! Things had changed drastically from my thoughts watching that video almost exactly 2 years earlier.

Fast forward 11 years--about a year ago. I have married a wonderful man who grew up in Sierra Leone (Blood Diamond, anyone?). I was sure we'd be in Africa by now, but we're not. My hubby feels passionate about the American church (go figure!) and God didn't allow our house to sell when the opportunity seemed PERFECT to go back to Sierra Leone. (At times, I'm still confused and curious about this.) So here I am. And then, last fall, I started having great conversations with a new, good friend and adoptive mom, Jolene.

The conversations actually started because we weren't satisfied with how we were living our lives and how we felt about helping others. We could talk the talk, but we weren't doing enough to walk the walk! So, we brainstormed. We thought about organizing some events to raise money for charities. We thought about volunteering at Faith Mission regularly (which Jolene started doing). We had some other ideas. And then, the idea hit (actually, through Jolene's wonderful husband Darin, first): Why don't we start an organization that focuses specifically on Africans? We are passionate about it. We have a close connection with a lawyer (thanks, Darin :)). We have solid ties in Africa--Ethiopia especially--through our adoption experiences.

And Awake and Alive was born.

Not satisfied with just helping overseas (although this is a noble cause that many do, and do well). We labored heavily and created three unique components for the organization:

1) to advocate for Africans locally by building relationships and easing the burden that often comes with a new culture

2) to assist existing organizations in Africa that are already making a difference in the lives of the poor and marginalized

3) to rouse Christians through education and experience, inspiring them to go beyond themselves.

While my impatient self wishes things were moving faster, I recognize that things are moving. We are incorporated. We are in the paperwork process and almost done with filing for our official, nonprofit status. We have raised about $4000 towards starting a school in Kechene, a slum in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. We have connected with some Africans in the community and with two colleges about who we are and what we hope to do. We have launched our website, blog, and facebook page. We have designed t-shirts and are getting ready to reveal those, formed our board, connected with some others in the community committed to making a difference in their own areas of fervor and zeal....and more.

AND WE ARE AS PASSIONATE AS EVER!!!!

I was so encouraged this past month when we had the privilege to participate in the Xstop project's Jazz in the Night event in Mishawaka and met so many amazing people and organizations dedicated to making the world a better place. I was reminded of how we have all been given things we are passionate about. We all have gifts that we can give to the world. Let's encourage each other in these pursuits. What are you passionate about? GO FOR IT.

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.

Hebrews 10:24

Cultural Differences

2011-07-17T14:09:00.000-04:00

When I think of the phrase cultural differences, things like how we view marriage or our different foods or languages or our view on community come to mind. Today as I was putting lunch away, though, our differences struck me a little differently.

My arms were, once again, too full as I tried to make as few trips as possible (any other moms can relate?), and a big, glass container of rice slipped out of my hands onto the floor. Now, as you can imagine, this was a huge mess that I was really not in the mood for. I was trying to get the kids out to the pool (thank you, Lord, for 2 weeks at Mom and Dad's while they're on vacation!) and join them before we were off to a birthday party. But as I got the vacuum out and started cleaning up the rice and shattered glass spread around the one side of the kitchen, God allowed a different train of thought to come into my mind.

I started thinking about how it was annoying, yes, that I lost a big container. It was also annoying that the rice we were going to use for curry tonight or the next day, was now ruined by little pieces of glass mixed in. But what about in my beloved Africa? What if a big container was ruined and the rice along with it? Would the children eat for the day? Would they go to their cupboards (would they even have cupboards?!?) and go choose from 5 others, or would they have to work to save up enough money to buy another one...if they even could?

This is the reality for millions of people in other parts of the world. Food for thought today...

June and 1/2 of July in pictures-totally out of order!

2011-07-14T10:56:00.006-04:00

The birthday boy (Owen) is hidden behind the one girl that got invited to the party, but it was a wonderful birthday party at G & G's house: swimming and zip lining were the main attractions.

Thank you, Jesus, for my parent's house which did a lot of entertaining for us. This is Braden's double-digit party complete with fireworks, swimming, and baseball...among other things!

They warm my heart

Sometimes it's hard being a princess and not getting your way :(

What you CAN'T see in the greenery behind Kole is the copperhead snake that he discovered. Let me summarize: Kole: "Look! A snake!" Us: "Where?" Kole (moving a branch six inches away from the coiled, venemous snake's head): "Right here!"

Thank you, Lord, a trip to the ER was not the culmination of the above story. Rather, we just got some great pictures and a memory!

Hiking at the falls. In another year, I'm not sure she'll fit (or, more accurately, if we'll be able to carry her on rigorous hikes!)

Memories at the falls :)

Our big splurge of the vacation (besides groceries!) was renting the pontoon boat for a couple of hours to go fishing. We all had a lot of fun and caught some fish. And Owen got to use his new birthday fishing pole.

Mommy-Selah bonding time in TN!

Selah's first time miniature golfing. We bought a family pass with the money we got listening to a timeshare presentation and went golfing, I think, at least 5 different times!

The boys did so great in baseball this year. Braden would have made all-stars had we not gone on vacation. He definitely wasn't happy with us about that! But, he got over it after we had such an awesome time. He usually either pitched or played third or short stop.

Kole also had a great first year of "real" baseball. He was on Braden's team after getting moved up for his studdliness (Proud Mom's word :) ) and usually played second or outfield, but sometimes pitched, which improved greatly by the end of the season.

Underneath the Fall Creek Fall's waterfall!

Way too long

2011-07-10T23:49:00.002-04:00

It goes without saying that it's been way too long since I've blogged here. I've been a little preoccupied. With Awake and Alive getting started, the boys home for the summer, and me tutoring incessantly in June, I didn't have a lot of room to breath...or to blog personally. But, never fear! That hasn't stopped the thoughts, the passion, the pain, the growth. It's all been here, I just haven't been broadcasting anything. Hopefully, now that tutoring is done, that will change. God is moving and I want to share it with all of you, as well as hear about what He's doing in your lives. I also want to give you pictures (because we love them, right?!?) from the summer. Alas, however, Hubby is with his best friend and our family vacation picture montage is on his computer which is probably at this very moment being used for fantasy baseball discussions (Thank you, Lord, that September is just around the corner!)

So, here is my teaser that pictures are on the way, as are updates on the fam. In the meantime, go check out our new(er) Awake and Alive blog and learn about the latest news there...and sign up to help feed a child for a school year! (http://awakealiveblog.blogspot.com/)

Awake and Alive is officially in cyberspace!

2011-04-27T22:10:00.002-04:00

What an amazing first day in cyberspace for Awake & Alive!! It has been incredible to put what has been on our hearts for so long out there for the world to see and see people respond!! 100 "likes" in less than 24 hours on facebook is better than we could have hoped. God is so good!!! As you can see from all the exclamation points, I'm ecstatic and a little too distracted (since I should be lesson planning right now). But I just had to tell you what was going on in case you didn't know. Go see for yourself at www.awakeandalive.org and then you can go to facebook and "like" the Awake & Alive page for a chance to win a free t-shirt on Monday morning.

Thanks for sharing in our joy! I can't wait to see what Awake & Alive is able to do for Africans in need both here in the United States and in Africa. EPH. 3:20!!!

2011-04-26T09:33:00.002-04:00

My dad's the best! He put this together and since I haven't gotten around to any downloading of pictures from the weekend (and it was a VERY full one, let me tell you!), I stole his. A lot of the extended family was there (2 of my 3 aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents, siblings...) and it was WONDERFUL to be together. Family can be such a blessing. See if you can pick out our kiddos and my siblings--everyone but Cali was there :) He is risen, indeed!!!

A small snapshot of the past month

2011-04-14T08:15:00.006-04:00

We have wonderful new friends named Eyob and Melat. They have two kiddos--Lewi and Lucas. Selah is crazy about Lucas! We're crazy about all of them.

These are 3 of the most important people in my life--part of the "Taylor Televen"--last night at a great local restaurant in Kalamazoo called Food Dance. The food was divine...the conversation and love around the table was even better.

My favorite little girl in the world!!!

All of these great outdoor shots are at my sister and her husband's new property in Michigan. I think we're going to be spending a lot of time there! We all went there on a gorgeous Spring day last weekend to help get things ready for them building. Specifically, we were digging up rocks :)

Cabin Fever Day!

(And as a side note: I am happy to announce that the Black boys have finally gotten haircuts!!!!)

Fasting follow-up

2011-04-06T12:14:00.005-04:00

I received a comment this morning from my Canadian blogger friend that I wanted to share and answer:

Fasting can be such an undiscovered discipline in today's church. Sometimes, it seems, if you talk about it, you are perceived to be like a Pharisee or something..."I fast twice a week..." But if we don't talk about it, what do we become then?? I'd love to hear about the challenges and blessings of your week of fasting.

This really resonated with me. Fasting is really a confusing thing. It is talked about in the Bible, on multiple occasions and in both the old and new testament, but as a general rule it is so foreign to us in America--to me--that I feel really insecure on the topic. Insecure about if it's okay to talk about it (because there are verses in the Bible that would support that it's not). Insecure about how to do it (e.g. Is one meal a day (like I did this past week) actually legitimate?) Insecure about how often to do it. Insecure about for what purpose I should do it. You get the point. So, when it's hard to do anyway, and there are so many questions regarding it, it's easy just to not do it in the first place.

But that is so sad and unfortunate. You know, as I think about it right now, I wonder if our neglect of fasting is one of the reasons that most American Christians are so overwhelmingly disinterested in the poor. That is not to say that we don't think we care. Or, we don't feel guilty, sad, depressed.....you fill in the blank....when we take the time to think about it. It's just that our choices don't actually show that we care.

The above hypothesis about the link between fasting and the poor is because of how fasting a meal a day this week impacted me. Granted, I was fasting because of the call to fast from Ambassador Tony Hall here, so my heart and mind were clearly on the poor. However, I think it was much more than that. When I fasted this week one meal a day, I felt hungry. This is something that normally I try to avoid at all costs. When I feel hungry--usually within MINUTES--I am rushing to fill that hunger with some kind of food. And I can. I have food within my disposal at almost every second of every day....and night. So this hunger thing for more than a few minutes at a time is not normal. This week, when I started feeling hungry, I was not rushing to satiate that hunger. So, I had time to contemplate it. Contemplate the TENS OF THOUSANDS of people that DIE of hunger EVERY SINGLE DAY in other countries. And contemplate those children in this country that are hungry on any given day because there's no food in the house. I came face to face with the latter this summer when I was tutoring. It is real and it does happen more than you know. That alone has made me more connected this week. And more thoughtful.

I really want to learn more about the discipline of fasting and hear your experiences about it. I won't call you a Pharisee. I won't even think it. I'm just longing to become more, become better, than I am right now. Spending HOURS reading Kisses from Katie this week confirmed that once again. I have SO far to go, but I'm not throwing in the towel yet. In fact, I'm more resolved than ever to grow and become more real. I think fasting is one of the many pieces to this puzzle.

A Challenge for this week

2011-03-28T12:31:00.002-04:00

Last night we had our small group over and the conversation was just sweet. Going naturally in between thoughts with everyone chiming in at different points, it felt like a safe and meaningful community of people. Of all the topics discussed, our friend started talking about investing in mutual funds. I know, exciting, right? (I mean, since none of us are finance people. I'm sure for those guys it is an exciting topic of conversation) But it brought up an interesting point about feeling a sense of right or wrong about different things and about how we worship the god of convenience these days and how, even if we would have principles about doing or not doing WHATEVER (think eating, buying, watching, investing...you get the point) that if it was more convenient to ignore our principles, then they would probably lose to convenience.

Fast forward to today. I'm working like a dog this week (what does that expression mean, anyway?!? Most dogs I see just lay around!)to make my end-of-the-month tutoring deadlines and an e-mail comes in from Ron Sider. Not a personal e-mail, of course, but one sent out, I imagine, to all people associated with Evangelicals for Social Action. The e-mail is a plea in light of the potentially devastating cuts in the House of Representatives that currently empower the poor--in the USA and abroad. The cuts would impact "Head Start, Pell Grants, WIC, economic foreign aid that prevents millions from dying from AIDS and malaria in Africa; on and on."

This time, what ESA and Ron Sider are pleading with us to do is fast. Fast for this week, starting today. It can be a meal or two a day, water only...or any other thing that is on your heart. For the sake of the poor in America and around the world. I think about it for a sec: "That's really cool that they're doing that. Maybe I should. No, fasting for a meal makes me feel SO hungry and grumpy and it's a busy week, so not this time," I reason.

Then I think about last night's conversation.

I want to blow it off, too, but a Voice is whispering. Don't be a hypocrite. You say this is a value of yours--helping the poor. Especially in Africa. This is directly related to that and you're about to turn away. Don't. Please.

And so, because of the community and because of obedience, I am listening. Because I don't want to worship the god of convenience anymore. All he cares about is himself, and I know there's no value in that.

Genetics, stress, and amazing women (& men)

2011-03-18T15:28:00.005-04:00

I started out writing a shout out on facebook and then realized that I had too much to say for that (a regular problem for this verbose once English/speech/drama teacher!) So I came over here to talk about the last couple of weeks and the incredible people in my life.

First let me start by saying that for the most part, genetics have been a blessing to me. My family does not have a significant history of heart disease or cancer or many of the other hardships that plague other family trees. I do have the aggravations of acne and gray hair (thanks, Dad) and a really weird pinky toenail (thanks, Mom), but overall, my genetic code has been healthy....except for my back. That lovely morsel of a problem is passed down to me by my otherwise quite extraordinary mom.

So, with my crazy schedule this Spring (it's hard to transition from being a stay at home mom to more of a working mom--even if it isn't totally full time!), my back decided to throw an internal temper tantrum. "So, you're not going to stop going to bed so late and feeling overwhelmed with all there is to do," I can hear it say, "Then, watch what I can do!" As a result, last, last Sunday night, it went out. Now, after 5 days it was a lot better. I returned to my crazy pace (I really didn't feel like I had much of a choice), and voila! Several days later it really threw a fit. So, now it's 4 days later and I'm still struggling BIG TIME.

And here is where the amazing people in my life come in. On Thursday (at the height of the pain) I had my absolute busiest day. I mean really busy. Sick kiddo. Leave the house by 9:00 am to take the two other kids to Jenna's for babysitting. Get my hair cut and colored (thanks, Living Social) at a nice salon 45 minutes away from Jenna's. Almost 3 hours later, drive back home where I lay down desperately on the couch. Kole, precious boy that he is, heats up lasagna, bread sticks, gets me my water bottle, and serves it all up on a tray while I lay with an ice pack on my back. Then, Jenna shows up after graciously offering to bring the kids all the way home, with an iced mocha in hand. Just as she shows up, my sis shows up to watch the kids while I go to work (her normal Thursday routine). She will also be cooking dinner and taking the kids to tae kwon do (all FOUR kids). Then, Karl and I get home about 6:30 where dinner is basically on the table complete with freshly baked bread and we sit down to eat. Afterwards, Karl and Alyssa clean up the kitchen and Karl does the bedtime routine.

The next day I'm as bad as ever. So, I decide to have a try-to-be-guilt-free day with Owen, Selah, and Kole (still claiming to be sick, but now no fever) watching lots of media. During this time my Dad goes to "Special Person" day at Braden's school and spoils him as usual, calling me afterwards to tell me how wonderful he is. Meanwhile, back home, my friend Anjanette calls to see how I'm doing. An hour or so after offering to help with the kids and me rejecting the idea, she texts to say she will be there to pick up all 4 kids (did I mention she has 4 as well?!?) for the afternoon and evening...and maybe the night (Karl's going to be gone for the annual and much-anticipated fantasy baseball draft :) ). She ends up keeping them all. night. long.

The next morning I leave early for an all-day bridal shower event in Ohio with Mom driving as I lay in the back. It was a wonderful day of female companionship and love with some of my favorite people, including Aunt Heidi, Grandma Betty, sis-in-law Erica (who's sis is marrying my cousin :) ), cousin Amy from PA, Aunt Cathy, cousin Jen....and much more. I was mothered well as I figured I would be as we sat around (I laid) and talked.

When I got home, Karl had gone with all 4 kids to get me a beautiful bouquet of flowers complete with homemade cards from the boys thanking me for working so hard, even with a bad back.

Seriously, it is practically impossible, even in the midst of significant pain, to not look at these last 2 weeks and not feel the incredible love of family and friends. What a blessing relationships can be! I would love to hear about some of the incredible gifts of relationship you all have. Feel free to share and pass the blessing along. In this jaded and hard world, I think it's so important to remember those sunny things that keep us going. I know I sure need to!

Let the good times roll!

2011-03-11T10:58:00.008-05:00

The above and below shot are during our "sandwich."

The girls are the top bread(I promise, Selah is really not being traumatized.

She is trying to look like she's laughing, as instructed), Owen's the bottom. I guess that makes me the filling.

My dear friend Shelley showed up the other day...wearing the same shirt. C'mon.

We're very lovable dorks.

DUDE!

My 3rd grade class. Check out my fro! I'm giving Selah a run for her money.

Best decision I've made during these cold months. Africa completes me :)

(And this definitely qualifies as fun--just not the excruciating pain part)

Um. I'm not sure I'm allowed to post this, but I found it as I was scrolling through pics on my camera and it made me laugh. Twisted, yes, but my boys are just too funny not to include it in this post.

I've realized lately that I tend to be too driven. Which would be okay a lot of times because I really impress myself with how much I get done, but it also means I've found myself in this place where I don't have enough fun. I used to be one of the funnest people I knew! How does that happen?!? So, in light of this new discovery, I wanted to post some recent "fun" photos I have on my camera. Let the good times roll!

TWO powerful songs.

2011-03-10T20:49:00.005-05:00

I'm so glad I have such amazing friends who know good music. I wanted to pass along two incredible videos/songs that friends have posted this week. So, if you have 10 minutes, enjoy. The Jared Anderson song is just a great worship song posted by our amazing friend/worship leader/church planter Yemi (also on the board of Awake and Alive, I might add. He's a busy guy!) The second I found because of my good friend Shelley. We share a love and passion for adoption...among other things...and the Third Day song is a moving ballad on that.

Our First Awake and Alive Board Meeting

2011-03-05T10:39:00.003-05:00

We had our first board meeting! It's so great to see things continue to come together. The website is days away (Okay, that may be unrealistic. Maybe still a few weeks), and the paperwork is just about ready to send off for our not-for-profit 501(c)3 status. Is that cool or what?!? This comes just a few days before the news came out that Ethiopian adoptions will be decreasing by around 90% effective March 10. I have mixed feelings about this ruling in the sense that if there really is widespread corruption, then of course I want them to get to the bottom of it. However, there is more going on than just that according to some knowledgable sources, and regardless, my heart goes out to all those adoptive parents in the process or who would have liked to be in the process sometime in the future. There are thousands, and no doubt they are struggling beyond words. My heart also goes out to all the babies and children in Ethiopia that are in desperate circumstances and need the love of a family.

One light regarding this dark knowledge of what's to come concerns the organization that Awake and Alive will be partnering with on the ground in Ethiopia. It's called Bright Future (and no, they don't have a website yet) and we might think of it like an advanced after-school care program, kind of like the Boys and Girls Club here in the US except that they also support in HUGE ways the widows of these children. There are about 80 kids right now--most of them "half-orphans," meaning one parents has passed away, often the father. The widows receive things like health screenings, food, and education on a variety of helpful topics. We are so excited to tell people more about it, but I think I'll wait until the blog directly connected with Awake and Alive gets going. Clearly, though, there will be an even greater need with this new legislation regarding foreign adoptions to help impoverished children in Ethiopia and whoever is caring for them. We are so glad God has provided such a perfect partnership between Awake and Alive and Bright Future and we are excited about what the future holds--in this department and so many others.

Much more stuff is going on here at the Black house, but I don't want to spend all my time writing about it when the kiddos are down for a nap and I have some much-needed quiet :) I'll write again soon. Blessings to you all.

And yes, this picture was taken long after our tree should have been down :)

Celebrating our Ethiopian princess!

2011-02-24T13:21:00.007-05:00

Our sweet, sassy Selah Joy Gelila has been with us two years today. Selah, we LOVE you...to Africa and back! Happy Gotcha Day, Ethiopian Princess. If you want to read about that first day together, look here. It brought back so many memories for me about the "end" of our adoption journey.

Spring is in the air!

2011-02-18T12:23:00.001-05:00

Running (more accurate = walking with a few running spells) in our neighborhood twice this week has been incredible. The dirty snow is melting, and we pull out the bikes. We still wear gloves and hats, but we are getting a preview of Spring. It is exciting. It is life-giving. It is filled with hope. It seems like such a perfect parallel to how I am feeling about this new season of our lives.

Two weeks ago, Karl ended just over a year at the factory. The job has been such a blessing to us over the last year, but so difficult as well. We are thankful that God provided it, but also thankful that the time there has drawn to a close. He also ended his 3 months as an interim pastor for Cornerstone Church a couple of weeks ago. Another door that was such a gift from God has closed. Having Karl around more has been such a blessing for all of us. The kids are the biggest Daddy fans I've ever seen lately. Now, they've always been like this to some degree, but since he's been home more, it's even more apparent. Even Selah, who I could count on to be a mommy's girl, pushed me away last night so that Daddy could tuck her in (yes, it hurt a little, but it was too precious to take personally).

So, what is the metaphoric Spring that is knocking? Well, there's a whole conglomeration of things including Karl's work schedule, a new church plant (more to come on that later), and renewed passion and vision, but the biggest thing right now for me personally is Awake and Alive, that dream to be involved with the people of Africa for so many years that is now becoming a reality. Last week alone the Shrocks and I drove to Michigan City to meet an amazing Ethiopian man from Chicago named Talargi and heard about his vision for helping Ethiopian children in Addis Ababa and their moms who are widowed. It was so inspiring. And then, the next day we had Eyob and Melat and their beautiful boys over for dinner for the first time...and that was wonderful, too. Karl said afterwards, "It's pretty incredible how much it felt as if that wasn't the first time we'd met." It was so fun and natural and good.

I think there's this false perception out there that if you find yourself if a bad, or even uncomfortable place--in a bad spot financially, not feeling intimately connected in your marriage (or not married at all), indulging in unhealthy habits, not feeling connected to God, confused, depressed, you get the point--then you can't move forward. Some of the thoughts that assault our minds are how can we do our part to save the world if we're so broken? Or need help ourselves? Can I really make a difference when I'm so messed up? So, too many of us do nothing...and keep wishing life were different. I don't buy it. At all. I think it's a lie that keeps us inactive and self-absorbed. If we all waited to have our act together before we stepped outside ourselves, there would be far less world-changers out there. Those, in fact, are some of the thoughts behind Awake and Alive's tag "Beyond Wishing."

So, here we are taking some steps of faith. And God sure seems to be walking beside us, encouraging us that He is guiding and leading. He's saying, I think, that these are His things and we don't have to freak about how everything's going to come together (the freak out part is more me than Karl :) ). He's allowing us to recognize that this year was a hard year, but not a fruitless year. It had to come in order for us to become more like Christ and, therefore, more able for Christ to use. I'm thankful for all these lessons and for how they have changed me. But, man! Am I EVER excited for Spring!!!!!

Awake and Alive Logo Feedback

2011-02-10T22:30:00.002-05:00

Thanks to our AWESOME, TALENTED friend Seth (the same one that made our adoption t-shirts so incredible 3 years ago), we have a great logo! Seth says we need a lot of honest feedback so we can make it as good as possible and tweak things that aren't quite right. Jolene and I think it's pretty close to perfect already, but we trust the expert. The idea is that the stacked version is our main logo with the other one being for times when we need it in a straight line. SO, blog readers, let us know what you think. Soon it will be too late, so now is the time to have a say. PLEASE leave any thoughts you have. We want to hear from a lot of people about what you do and/or don't like so we can change things accordingly. Thanks!!!

Everything's Amazing and Nobody's Happy

2011-01-18T08:04:00.002-05:00

This is from 2009, but I came across it on someone else's blog and it made me laugh and reflect. It's a good combination, I think. Enjoy.

Randomness

2011-01-17T14:54:00.005-05:00

Christmas Eve with full tummies and new, warm jammies

Is this face priceless, or what? Good thing we don't

put a lot into the whole Santa thing :)

Here's the crew before Christmas at a hotel in Archbold, thanks to Grandma Betty and Grandad Rich. Not the best pic, but whatcha gonna do with 4 youngish kids?!? (p.s. While we have had some trials with Kole this year, he really is happier than he seems in these pictures!)

I also wanted to say how crazy excited Jolene and I are about Awake and Alive!!! Seriously!!! I think we would get an A+ for passion. However, we're working hard to do other stuff other than just dreaming. We're working on a website, a blog, the paperwork (that would be Jolene's awesome husband, Darin, actually), our board, making connections with other organizations doing great things in Ethiopia (Bright Future and Project Mercy, for example), making connections with organizations here doing great things for Africans (like the Red Cross Refugee Services, for example), gleaning wisdom from friends in other non-profits with hearts for Africa, contacting Africans living in the area, inviting them for dinner, hearing their stories/ideas....you get the point. A lot is going on! Until the other blog is up and running...and even when it is...we'll be keeping you posted here.

All this is going on while the Shrocks are praying desperately to pass their THIRD court date on January 24 (or 22nd. Now, I'm second-guessing!) They have had 2 in a row with disappointing results. I am in awe of how strong they are being. Jolene's words: "I know these babies WILL be home when they are supposed to be!" Pray for them, please.

If you want to get involved, let us know. We would love to share our vision with you. In the meantime, I think we've settled on an official mission statement (unless it changes before we get the website up :) ):

Awake and Alive desires to support Africans locally by building relationships and helping them acclimate into American society. Abroad, we wish to support existing organizations on the ground in Africa. Finally, by providing education and experiences to the Church we aspire to encourage Christians to be a part of the solution for the poor.

Lastly, I have been loving all the wonderful quotes on facebook in honor of an amazing man, Martin Luther King, Jr. He was so wise and eloquent. Here are some of my favorites:

"I have a dream that my children will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. "
"The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education."
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly."

Thank you, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. for having a dream and making this world a better place.

"The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people but the silence over that by the good people."

A Mother's Heart

2011-01-03T16:16:00.002-05:00

My sister is starting an online book study of sorts with the book Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger. Ron Sider wrote the book originally over 30 years ago which now has 5 editions, with the last one published in 2005. It is powerful and will serve as another great resource to feed what Jolene and I have a heart to do with "Awake and Alive." The first section of the book (which I am currently on) serves to show the reader some of the tragic facts about poverty.

As I'm sitting on the couch reading, I hear Selah wake up from her nap. I go and get her and then take her into Owen's room, who is stirring. I snuggle her down into the covers next to big brother and she repeats, "I'm gonna snuggle with my brother." Owen is happy and their little heads press up against each other as they look at me. Owen asks if he can have something to eat up in his bed. Caught in the moment, I acquiesce. To which Selah responds, "I don't need anything. I'm not hungry. [Opening her mouth wide] See? I'm not hungry."

As I easily scoop a snack out of the (crammed) kitchen pantry and head back upstairs, I ponder the interaction. I think about the warm, happy feeling I have looking at my two kids bundled beneath more than enough blankets on this cold, winter day. I think about their full bellies...or soon to be full bellies. I think about how incredibly blessed I am to be their mama. And I feel so incredibly burdened for the millions upon millions (actually, probably more like 2+ billion) mamas (and papas) out there who can't share this same experience with me.

"Break my heart for what breaks yours. Everything I am for your kingdom's cause...."

Awake and Alive

2010-12-12T22:59:00.006-05:00

For several years now really God has been stirring my heart. He's telling me that, as my blog friend Heidi says, my life is not my own. Well, I guess Jesus actually said it first (sorry, Heidi). For a long time after this began, I was educating myself: reading amazing books, inspiring blogs, having meaningful conversations...immersing myself in the topic of social justice--a topic that was close to God's heart. How do you know that, you may ask? Well, God mentions it over 2,100 in His Main Book, for one. For another, even when it's not mentioned specifically, His character REEKS of it. So, I can say with confidence that God cares about justice. And compassion. And generosity. And so this is where I stayed for a long time. In some ways, I would say far too long. But I trust God. I trust that he knew me. He knew that I still needed to be broken a lot more in order to better understand broken people. I needed to understand desperation and not making it on my own. I needed to understand the hope and love that comes from the Body of Christ stepping in and providing for my family's needs when we couldn't. So even though I feel a little sad and ashamed about time lost, I know that this is better. His plan is always better.

Fast forward to about a month ago. My precious friend Jolene and I were talking and brainstorming about what we could actually do to start living out our heart and passion for people in need (while our Ethiopian cuties played all around us). That quickly developed into a meeting with our husbands to talk about starting a non-profit to better fulfill that dream. Being that Jolene's husband does this kind of stuff for his job, he volunteered to start the paperwork process....and Awake and Alive was born!

Another meeting and several conversations later things are beginning to crystalize. While we don't have an official mission statement yet, we know that our deepest desire is two-fold. First, we desire to help African families (and orphans) both here and abroad. Stateside, we desire to help ease the transition for families (or individuals) coming over from various African nations by plugging them in to services available, driving them around, helping kids enroll in school, connecting them to other Africans in the area, and offering friendship and love by welcoming them into our families. Abroad, we are exploring possibilities with existing NGOs and churches as well as thinking through "adopting a village" by providing various kinds of support to Africans in need. Second, we desire to help educate and provide experiences (see above) to wake up the church to God's heart towards the "orphan, widow, and foreigner." Realizing that we have been blessed to bless, we want to encourage Christ followers to stop learning and start doing. Stop hoarding and start giving. For it is when we refresh others that we will be truly refreshed. And more than that--LIVES ARE AT STAKE!!!

We would love to have conversations with you about this vision that is moving from our hearts to our hands. We would love to begin raising up a team of people who have a heart of generosity towards the people of Africa. We are passionate and excited! Let's dream about it together. What if everyone cared?

Somethin's Comin'

2010-12-03T16:03:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure what it is, but God's doing something. I'm excited. In fact, I'm feeling more awake and alive than I've felt in ages. I just wanted you to know.

A New Year

2010-11-13T23:32:00.004-05:00

This month I turned 34. As I've spent time reflecting on this, I was reminded of the humorous comment I often make to people turning 33: "It's the year Jesus died, ya know....." First, perhaps I shouldn't joke about something so profound and life-changing as the death (and resurrection) of my Savior. Having said that, though, that flippant comment came back to me as I reflected on the past year. It's funny how, symbolically, this really has been a year of dying for me. I have become more contemplative, more somber, and more broken. I have also, thankfully, become more whole. Aren't those two statements oxymorons in some ways? Absolutely. And yet totally true. I (and my family) have faced more sorrow this year than I would care to talk about. I have seen extreme ugliness in people. I have seen extreme ugliness in myself. I have learned/am learning the meaning of "In quietness and in confidence shall be your strength" from Isaiah 30:15. God has taught me A LOT about being quiet and resting in him. Trusting in Him. Letting Him be my Defender. I have made A LOT of mistakes. I have been disobedient and suffered the consequences. Yet God has been so faithful. He has shown me parts of myself that I would have rather not known were there. He has brought to the surface those unrefined places in my soul that need Him desperately. And in this "dying to self," I am finding new life. It is stirring, and I am excited.

My dream to go to Africa for 1-2 years is not going to happen. While the job opportunity for Karl is still open, I guess God has other plans. We prayed and sought wisdom and laid out a fleece for the past 6 months...and the answer is no. I cannot tell you what a loss that is to me. I am grieving. But I am trusting once again. I am trusting that God knows what our family needs, that He knows what He has called us to. Karl's passion for the American church and my passion for Africa were both put in our hearts by God. He also brought us together in marriage in pretty amazing ways. So, this is not too big for Him. He has a plan. It is for wholeness and intimacy--with each other and Him. And as long as we continue to seek Him and be obedient, He will show us how we can be unified and fulfill our individual callings. It could get interesting...

In the meantime, I came across this quote in Braden's classroom newsletter by Dietrich Bonhoeffer: "Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility." Well, I'm ready. This passion that has been percolating for years is ready to be acted upon. The time is now. This past year of dying has purpose, and part of that is what Tim Hughes' song says:

Jesus, you have called us

Freely we've received

Now freely we will give

We must go

Live to feed the hungry

Stand beside the broken

We must go

Stepping forward keep us from just singing

Move us into action

We must go

We shall see what God does. I'm open to anything. But I also know that it's so easy to desire the grandiose and miss opportunities to love on the people right in front of you: my neighbors, those that serve me at the grocery store, my children, my husband, and others that God has strategically placed in my life. (A great read on this topic is You Are God's Plan A by Dwight Robertson)So, I will be looking for opportunities--both big and small--in the season to come. I'd love to hear your stories.

Jehovah Jireh

2010-08-10T16:24:00.006-04:00

It's hard to believe that the last subject title of my blog was "Summer is Here" and now my title could be "Summer is a Memory" or something similar. School starts one week from today and I have tons of mixed emotions. It really has been an excellent summer: hot, full, and fun. It has also been squelching, fearful, and limited, but it is the good things that rise to the surface, thankfully, as we look back. Here is what the boys would say when asked to describe the summer in a word:

Braden: Awesome
Kole: Fun
Owen: Hot

I would say those are pretty good adjectives to make a mom feel good, right? Now, we just have to prepare for those early, long days that start one week from today. 3 kids at 3 different schools is a lot to coordinate for this somewhat scatter-brained mama, but lists will save me :)

On a different note, I wanted to write about my title for today: God Provides. Probably the best way to do that is to tell two stories, one that happened this past Thursday. You see, this summer we got letters from both of our insurance carriers that our monthly payments were going up approximately $500 total. This, of course, was devastating and so not only did Karl call our agent to see if he could find us some options, I also made an appointment with Medicaid to see what our options are in that department. Well, the day came for our appointment, and I showed up (at nap and lunchtime-1:00 pm) with all 4 kids in tow. Luckily, we didn't need to wait long in the packed room since we had an appointment and we were ushered back into a small cubicle with a caseworker. Let's just say the meeting didn't go well. I mean, granted, the verdict is still out since I didn't have 3 MONTHS of paystubs to show (silly me--I thought several stubs would suffice), but I wasn't encouraged. I was also tired, hungry, and overwhelmed (as were the kids). I just didn't know how we were going to make this work and I kept thinking.....and thinking.....and thinking (is the word obsessing, perhaps?!?) about it.

As I'm pulling into our home driveway, I stop by the mailbox. In it, I find a note by an anonymous individual saying thank you for all that we did to help at our last church and that there are many people that would love to help, including them, if we needed it. Enclosed was also a $75 cashier's check.

Now, I don't know about you, but that is God's incredible love (expressed through others)right there! Seriously! At a moment of despair and desperation, He shows up. As if to say, "No, you don't know how it's going to work out. But I'm here. And I care. And I have continued to and will continue to provide." Amazing.

One final story: months and months ago, Karl and I were talking about food stamps. I was excited about the possibility of having a significant amount of money to budget each month for food and was thinking about it during an unusually peaceful car ride. Out of nowhere, I thought, "You can do that, but then you will not be able to see how I provide." I felt like my thought was God's quiet voice telling me that in our situation, He would rather have us trust Him instead of the government. Now, PLEASE understand, I am only telling our story. Our experience. I am no so arrogant that I believe this is a blanket statement about social welfare. We are on WIC, after all, and looking into Medicaid. We know others who are as well. However, in our case--my case--relying on the government would be so much easier (and dare I say less amazing) than relying and trusting in God. He seems to want to build our faith in Him. ANYWAY, fast forward to July. Things were as stressful as ever even with God providing a part-time job for me, and so Karl and I revisited the issue of food stamps. We decided that we would lay out a "fleece" and say that if any money came in not from our jobs in the last half of the week (by Sunday) then we would take that as a sign that we were indeed supposed to continue trusting and not apply for the assistance. Well, Sunday came and I thought it was a done deal. The postal service doesn't deliver on Sunday, after all. But, after church I discovered in my diaper bag a significant check snuck in there by good friends that "happened" to be visiting that Sunday. Ha! What about That Guy?!?

I often hesitate to write about money. I hate the thought that there is anything in me that would describe our tough situation in an effort to manipulate people. Because when I search the recesses of my heart, I often don't like what I see. But this ongoing part of our story is just too amazing not to share no matter how much I worry about my "deceitful heart." So, I have been writing about the financial part of our story a lot in the past 8 months because God's story in the life of our family has often been seen through our finances. God is our provider and He continues to do it in amazing ways. Our kids....and Karl and I....will NOT be able to look back at this season (just as we've prayed and however long it lasts) and NOT see God's hand reaching out to us. It's just too obvious. May we be faithful with this story--our story--as God continues to do incredibly more than we could EVER ask or imagine!

Summer is here!

2010-06-30T09:24:00.006-04:00

Summer is in full swing here, and most days it's absolutely wonderful. Here are some things that summer means to us:

Getting together more with friends that are school-age. That means extra playdates with our W friends that live clear across town now, the Arce clan, and others
Long days at Grandma and Grandad's pool or various splash pads
Free lunches at several local parks
Sun-splashed skin and hair
Lots of extra outdoor activities
Sports, sports, and more sports
Less structure, more fun and spontanaity
An always messy house!

On a much different note, I have had so many "deep thoughts" lately I don't even know where to begin to communicate them. That fact would make me tempted not to even try, but it's good stuff to wrestle with (if I do say so myself!) so I guess I'll make an attempt to give a snapshot of one of the issues that's been on my heart:

I have had the bittersweet chance to keep working the first 2/3 of the summer. Bitter just because it makes my Tuesdays and Thursdays inflexible, but sweet both because we need the money and the 3 students I have are precious. God totally provided them for me and, hopefully, me for them. However, because of their home-life situation, I have been thinking a lot about poverty. Now, I've read some Ruby Payne and I spent a semester in a third world country. Our daughter is with us in part because of the horrific grip of poverty, and all the kids I've been tutoring this year struggle in this department. Even so, it's just been on my heart more than ever lately as I interact with these 3 kids (all from the same extended family) and their moms. Take, for instance, 1 1/2 weeks ago when I found out they hadn't eaten for 2 days. All I had were the dimes and pennies I had brought for a counting lesson plan....amounting, after my littlest guy counted it, to $3. So, we went to the gas station afterwards and they each bought a bag of "Hot Fries." I dropped them off at home to another 6 or so (no joke) kids swarming around them asking for some. As I drove home through various neighborhoods (our family does not live in the inner city) I was struck with just how many people live in poverty...even here in the United States. It's complicated. I can't even begin, nor do I want to here, to expound upon all the factors that lead to generational poverty. It's just so much to grasp and understand. I am baffled when I suggest to my precious students who will not have much food again until July 1 when their new food stamps come in that they go to the park for free lunches--something our family does--only to hear them say, "It's not hot. I don't like cold food." I don't understand why the moms would let their kids go hungry for 2 weeks when there's a mission right down the street that serves food at least twice a day (I doubt they serve breakfast). I don't understand why managing food stamps can't be taught and practiced so that it's not "feast or famine"--2 wks of plenty and 2 wks of almost nothing--but rather a steady stream of food the entire month. These are some of the complicated things. But one thing I do know is these kids shouldn't have to suffer. These kids are hungry. Their education is, at this point, declining. If they don't have a turn-around, these kids that are still so full of life will become jaded and fall behind to the point that it will take nothing short of a miracle to lift them up again. And it's not fair.

Life is completely not fair.

A month in pictures

2010-05-18T13:40:00.007-04:00

I found this note in Kole's backpack today. We've had to talk with the boys about the blessing of Daddy's work because he's so tired and in pain so much of the time and it's been hard for them. We've explained (well, I have) that it's Dad's way of loving us and providing for us and that we're so thankful God provided Dad a job even though it's really hard some days. We have prayed that God's faithfulness would be so clear to the boys in this season, and He sure has been showing Himself faithful. I thought this note was so precious.

I was laying peacefully with Selah on the couch after supper one night when in typical boy fashion, they all wanted to pile on top of us. Selah wasn't thrilled, but I thought it was a special moment and called from underneath the pile for Karl to record the memory.

This is one of the times a nice camera would come in SO handy. We have made quite a switch in our food eating. Thanks to Mom's example, I have always striven (is that a word?!?) to provide well-balanced meals and follow the most mainstream info--and some not-so-mainstream--as far as what's healthy and what's not (e.g. No to high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oils. Yes to whole grains.) However, more recently, I've also been thinking of our food choices as an issue of conscience/faith. Directly related to that, our biggest change has been to swear off all meat not raised locally (NO CAFOs!), which in our current financial situation means no meat very often period. So far, so good. Especially when you have meals as good as this! It looked incredible and tasted even better. Positive elements: lots of colors, in-season produce (strawberries/asparagus/spinach sort of), some organics, two veggies and a fruit...and...my first time making pesto! Thanks, Sarah, for the great recipe.
Anyone intersted, watch the documentary Food Inc. Talk about powerfully convincing...and convicting!
Mother's Day. The boys got up at 6 a.m. before church to make this amazing meal for me: coffee, milk, toast, eggs, pineapple, and kiwi. I felt so loved.
Owen enjoying one of these mildly wonderful Spring days at the playground with his best buddy Kovan. Grandma Pat brought his shirt back from her recent trip to Sierra Leone, West Africa.
Me talking with my friend Kelsi at the church we've recently been attending called Hope. The sanctuary is amazing as they are a church who takes their "call to the nations" very seriously. All around the perimeter are the flags of the countries where they've taken ministry trips.

So, you can see, life is very full. And wonderful. And painful. And joyful. And....life.

Humility

2010-05-07T11:03:00.003-04:00

I have been praying a lot for humility lately. A while back I noticed that three of the most highly esteemed characters in the Bible have their humility highlighted: John the Baptist, Moses, and Jesus. This is an area where I struggle. And because I know that pride, the opposite of humility, can lead to anyone's downfall, myself included, I pray. Desperately. Not so that I will be lauded as a great example of the faith, but so that God could have his way with me. Because even though I get so preoccupied with the things of this world, that is really what I want. And, God has been answering. Whether it's been little things like my vanity (have you seen my complexion & gray hair lately?!?) or bigger things like our financial situation, I feel myself changing.

Speaking of our financial situation, here's a funny and painful little story. So, I got our family on WIC the other day. It's a small way to get some basic nutritional needs met for struggling families who have children under 5 like bread, milk, cheese, eggs, juice, cereal, and a small amount of fruit/vegetables. Well, I thought I was totally okay with this. I mean, it's just a little help, right? Well, I was wrong. The first time I went to the grocery store with my voucher for these items, I thought I did everything right (wic is very specific, unlike food stamps where any food item is acceptable). Well, because of a special sale on half gallons of name brand milk, I realized, much to my dismay, that I hadn't gotten the cheapest type of milk. So, they had to go to the back of the store to right my wrong as I waited. The front of the store was packed (did I mention it's the nicest grocery store in our area?!?) and as the lady checking neared the front of the store, the teenager helping me called to her:

"Is that the cheapest milk?"

"What?"

"IS THAT THE CHEAPEST MILK?!?"

I seriously wanted to crawl into a hole. So much for being okay with some public assistance.... And one more small chance for me to learn humility.

The biggest area by far where God has been growing me in humility, though, is with the way we've been hurt by the church. I think this is the hardest thing, as well as where God wants to do the most work. In light of this, I picked up a book that had been sent to Karl by his old friend Dwight Robertson at Kingdom Building Ministries in 1999 after Karl witnessed a church split. It is entitled A Tale of Three Kings: A Study in Brokenness by Gene Edwards. I read it all the way through that day. Powerful, powerful stuff. Here's a quote that stood out to me:

"David....seemed to grasp a deep understanding of the unfolding drama in which he had been caught. He seemed to understand something that few of even the wisest men of his day understood. Something which even in our day, when men are wiser still, fewer understand.

And what was that?

God did not have, but wanted very much to have, men who would live in pain.

God wanted a broken vessel."

This is not the kind of stuff that makes for fun reading...or fun living, for that matter. But it is what God desires of us. It is what I've been praying for. And, by the grace of God, it is what we will learn in this continued time of waiting and seeking God.

How Does This Happen?

2010-04-29T22:59:00.002-04:00

I was telling a wonderful family friend tonight at dinner that once this much time passes between posts, it's so hard to write something again because I start thinking about it and there's just absolutely too much to say, so I don't even know where to start! And I concluded that I just need to do it and start with the current. SO, here I sit at just after 11:00 trying to put into practice what I know to be true.

This has been a wonderful and challenging couple of months. God's Truth is so simple yet so profound. I may or may not share with you at a later date what He's been saying--when it's not closing in on midnight. For another month, I am tutoring math (go figure!) 2 afternoons a week at an inner city elementary school. Its great pay and a challenging yet good chance to connect with four 3rd and 4th graders. Karl continues to work at a custom wood factory, though his job has changed. He is working less hours which is good for family time, but bad for the budget. God continues to provide. It's completely and totally miraculous really. We are still in our house. We are still seeking Him for the next step. We are trying to focus on living as believers TODAY. This is challenging many moments and easy others....or atleast less challenging in others.

As you can see from the pictures, my sister Alyssa got married last month. She was the most beautiful bride. Alyssa's new husband has won all of our hearts. We couldn't be more happy for them. I have told several people it was the most perfect weekend--intimate, beautiful, priceless.

We have been enjoying the weather as it leaps back and forth between the 40s and 70s. Ahhh, spring in the Midwest. It has felt so wonderful to get outside more. I have actually been running again (another miracle).

After watching Food Inc. on PBS, we have made the decision to only buy our meat from a local farmer (or my uncle one state over), thus ensuring in this season of life, we will be mostly vegetarian. Luckily, we have about a month's worth of meat in our freezer that I will NOT be purging. In the meantime, I am researching a lot about vegetarian life/recipes. I think I currently have 3 books on hold at the library (must pay down that fine and find that Magic Tree House tape series) and am recombing the Mennonite Central Committee cookbooks (More with Less, Extending the Table, and Simply in Season) so that I can plan out a month's worth of meals.

For the first time ever, I feel like we are a "sports family." Kole chose soccer while Braden chose baseball. What a schedule! We are still reeling to try to figure out how to work in family dinner around these practices and games. I'm not ready to give up that rare and precious time. When school's done in a month, it will probably get easier (we'll just eat after), but right now I'm just baffled with how to make it work. Any great suggestions? I'm open and very new at this.

Well, that's a start to re-entering bloggy land. I feel like "For She's a Jolly Good Fellow" should be sung with vigor right about now. Too bad I'm the only one up!

Happy Gotcha Day, our little princess...

2010-02-24T10:07:00.006-05:00

You are the love of all our lives, Selah Joy! God has definitely blessed us more than we could ask or imagine with your life. Thank you, Kelsi at intuition images, for these pictures--a beautiful gift to us--and, most importantly, thank you, Jesus for the gift of Selah!!!

Praising in the Storm

2010-02-23T15:13:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow is a special day and will hopefully include a post with some new pics, but in the meantime, I have wanted to share some cool things the Lord has been doing...

I told my sis the other day, that in some ways I would never wish the difficulty of this season on anyone, and yet, there is SO MUCH we are learning and seeing that many middle class families in the United States like ourselves may never experience unless they find themselves in a place as we are. For that reason, I really, as difficult as it is some days (and it does get really difficult), would not trade where we are for anything.

Because Karl has been a pastor for so long, we have probably been blessed more than the average family by people's generosity and kindness in different types of ways over the years. For example, I get some kick-butt hand-me-downs for myself and the kids that we all wear thankfully and proudly. We will also (especially during Pastor's Appreciation Month during our years at St. Mark Missionary Church) get wonderful cards and giftcards from people expressing their love and appreciation. This, I assume, is not common except on special occasions for most people. However, this season has been TOTALLY EXCEPTIONAL even for us! We have been BLESSED BEYOND MEASURE by people's kindness, regularly expressed through providing for us in different ways. And, the thing is, it's people from many different parts of our lives! Just Sunday night my husband who hardly EVER cries (Shhhh! Don't tell him I told you!) got misty-eyed when we came home to a BUNCH of groceries dropped off anonymously while we were gone. And, the thing is, so often it is exactly what we need. Like, another example, my aunt/sister/friend sent us a giftcard so I could pay for gas to come to her home in Lansing with the kids for a couple of days. It was a wonderful, relaxing, life-giving time. On the way home, we got a flat tire only to discover all our tires were really bad and in need of replacing. After consulting with Karl and my father (I couldn't get ahold of Karl at the factory at first and needed some manly wisdom!) I purchased 2 new tires at a local shop my aunt recommeded to the tune of A LOT of money, knowing that within several thousand miles I needed to replace the other two at a, hopefully, cheaper place. Well, that next week, we got an unexpected check in the mail that totally covered the two tires and some of the other two as well! Isn't God amazing? I honestly think we are getting a first-hand look at what the early church must have looked like and wow! No wonder so many people were drawn to it! (For that and many other reasons, of course!) We are totally and completely in awe of God's faithfulness expressed through His Body!

A couple of months ago (before everything went down) I had one of those supernatural experiences I didn't understand at the time. While driving with my ipod on random, the same song came on 3 TIMES IN A ROW! I didn't even know I had David Crowder Band's "Come and Listen" in my ipod 3 times! It's a great song (in fact I used it as the background to introduce Selah for the first time on our video a year ago--see the side column), but I just didn't know what God was trying to say by having me listen to it "randomly" 3 times in a row. Now I think, quite a few months later, the Lord might have clued me in to His intentions:

"Come and Listen" is all about praising God for His goodness and sharing that praise with others. This idea of praise has been in my heart a lot lately. God is so good! He deserves us to praise Him. In good times and in bad times. ALL THE TIME. And He deserves us to genuinely share the overflow of our thankful hearts with others. I think this blog is one way for me to do that. I am regularly, amazingly in awe at the Lord and His goodness and love. I hope, even when I share the pain of my heart at different times on this journey, the praise of God still rings forth. As Rita Springer sings, "May my praise be effortless. May my song come easily. May my worship be pleasing to you..."

"Praise the Lord from the heavens,

Praise Him in the heights above."

Psalm 148:1

Let the heavens not be the only places that echo the praise of our good and loving God!

Waiting....revisited

2010-02-02T22:45:00.005-05:00

One year ago today Selah Joy Gelila Black officially became our daughter. I love how my friend Anjanette said it: "I can't believe it has only been a year, but then, I can't believe it has already been a year!" That's it EXACTLY! What a complete and total blessing this year has been with Selah JOY. She has truly been nothing but that. Even now with her sass starting to shine forth, she makes me smile countless times a day! Thank you, God, for our incredible blessing. I actually can't believe I have 4 of them! (Well, much more than that, but you know what I mean!) Speaking of that, I thought it was about time I got a couple of recent pics on here!

Introducing....Lila Mae! The first Lugbill cousin...we love her to death!

I think remembering the anticipation of this day a year ago as well as our current waiting situation has made me want to reflect even more than usual on this concept. Waiting is so hard!!!! That's my conclusion after tossing the idea around in my mind for hours! Ha! Seriously, though, what is it about waiting that makes me feel like my insides are being tied in knots and everything in me CAN'T......STAND......TO......WAIT......ANOTHER......SECOND/ MINUTE/HOUR/DAY/WEEK/ MONTH (you get the point!)? And yet, often, that's exactly what the Lord asks of us?!? What is that?!? Well, I don't have any definitive answers, but I do have some promises from God's Word and some personal experiences to draw on. First, the Scriptures:

"The Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says, 'Only in returning to me and waiting for me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength. But you would have none of it.'" Isaiah 30:15
"Even youths will become exhausted, and young men will give up. But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:30-31
"Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act..." Psalm 37:7a
"I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry." Psalm 40:1

So, God says that in waiting we will be saved, find new strength, allow God to act on our behalf, and God will turn to us and hear our cry. Wow. These are definitely all things I want. All things I need. I need God to rescue me. I need Him to give me new strength. I need Him to act. I need Him to see my tears and pain and be the Comforter in the midst of them. But why does that require waiting?

My guess is based on what I have experienced in the wait. Usually, dare I say always, when I am in a season of significant waiting, I turn to the Lord. Not that I am necessarily away from Him leading up to these times, but there is a desperation during this time that forces me to turn to Him and rely on Him like never before. I find myself seeking His face, His voice, His Word, His Holy Spirit...anything that draws me to my Savior! Besides tragedy, I don't think anything can do this quite like waiting. That has been my experience. And it is SO hard. And SO painful. And, if I'm totally honest, I really wish God could do it another way and I wouldn't have to go through the waiting. But, luckily, He is wise and in charge, and knows what He's doing. So I trust Him. Completely. I have faith that He will give me the strength and courage and perseverence to wait, and in that waiting, I will emerge closer to His heart. Whew! Do I ever wish there was another way!!!

I like how my NLT Life Application Bible puts it: "Waiting on the Lord is the patient expectation that God will fulfill his promises in his Word and strengthen us to rise above life's difficulties." Patience has never been a virtue I found easy. I guess I really will be relying on the same power that raised Jesus from the dead to give me the strength I need in the wait!

Looking up

2010-01-19T07:26:00.004-05:00

I didn't realize how many people read my blog! I thought facebook was where everyone was, and it was friends in the adoption community far away, for the most part, that kept up here. It has been a blessing to realize that many others are looking in on us as well. Based on people's responses, though, I wanted to quickly write another entry about how I'm feeling/things are going now.

Last Tuesday and Wednesday (when I wrote my last entry) were very dark days. We were waiting for some news and I think the stress and anxiety of the waiting just added to the weight on my heart and made things almost unbearable. Well, we got the news Wednesday night (Karl's birthday) and God has been healing day by day since then. I purposely am being cryptic because that's what I am very confident God requires of me/us. I don't really understand it, and I definitely don't like it (it sure doesn't gratify my flesh!) but I don't have to (understand it or like it). I am required to be obedient, no matter how difficult it is. It's funny, actually. Over the last six months, God has been working A LOT on my tongue and how so many times (I think, at some level, especially because of my personality!) I say something when I should just be silent. This can be about big things like talking about someone or making a snide comment to my husband that blows up in my face. I have been pondering a lot James 1:19: "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." There's a lot packed in there! Well, little did I know that this 6 months of training was preparing me for the ultimate challenge of keeping my mouth shut amidst persecution and lies. Whew! Talk about going against everything your soul desires when you remain silent in those circumstances!!!!

So, here I am. Coming out of perhaps the hardest month of my life. Bruised, but not broken. Having learned some hard lessons that only can be learned in the fire. And you know what? God's faithfulness has been AMAZING. As Karl said, "God has been tripping over Himself to let us know He's there." Wow. Yesterday was a perfect example. At lunch, someone unexpectedly stopped by with some groceries and a check. Then, as Karl and I worked right before bed around 10:20 at night (Karl should have already been asleep since he has to leave the house at 5:15 these days for his new factory job, but he also works at home for my dad in the evenings!), a couple stopped by and told us that God told him to bring us his birthday money! It was incredibly humbling, because we knew how special this was to him, and yet he was obedient. And, it was humbling because God thought of us and asked someone else to sacrifice to provide for us (once again!) and make us aware of both His love and the love of others. He is amazing!!!

There are so many things I could share specifically of God's faithfulness this month. He has definitely done "immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine" (Eph. 3:20). It is amazing. We are in awe of God, our provider, comforter, healer. We are looking to the future, not looking back, with hope and promise and excited expectation. Thank you SO much for all your prayers. It is amazing how far I have come in the past week, and I know that so much of that has been because of so many praying for us and loving us. I know there very well might be rough days ahead, but I am more confident than ever that we are to "cast all [our] cares on the Lord for he cares for [us]." Praise His amazing name!!!

I think God speaks to us in lots of ways, but often, God speaks to me through music. This has been a major source of comfort to me lately. Some of my favorites are "How He Loves Us" (David Crowder Band--but not written by them), the classic hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness," and one my friend suggested I listen to/buy by Christy Nockels "A Mighty Fortress." However, my absolute favorite is a song from Hillsong United from a CD that was given to us our last Sunday at Crossroads. I wanted to share the words with you because they so poignantly speak my heart (and I'm learning to play it on the guitar!!!)

The Desert Song

This is my prayer in the desert

When all thats within me feels dry

This is my prayer in my hunger and need

My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire

In weakness or trial or pain

There is a faith proved of more worth than gold

So refine me Lord through the flame

And I will bring praise, I will bring praise

No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice, I will declare

God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle

When triumph is still on its way

I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ

So firm on His promise I'll stand

And I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

All of my life, In every season

You are still God

I have a reason to sing

I have a reason to worship....

AMEN!!!

Pain and Praise

2010-01-13T21:57:00.004-05:00

I have never in my life experienced the pain we are going through right now. It is intense. It is real. It feels like it is tearing me apart. But GOD IS GOOD. He will guide us through and lead us where he wants us to go. He is faithful. He does not waver. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is Truth. Satan, on the other hand, is the author of lies. Thank you, Jesus, that you are the judge and that your loving kindness is forever. Thank you that you have told me to focus on you. It's amazing how comforting the 23rd Psalm is in times of pain. Thank you, Jesus, for your word.

"The Lord is my shepherd;

I have everything I need.

He lets me rest in green meadows;

he leads me beside peaceful streams.

He renews my strength.

He guides me along right paths,

bringing honor to his name.

Even when I walk

through the darkest valley,

I will not be afraid,

for you are close beside me.

Your rod and your staff

protect and comfort me.

You prepare a feast for me

in the presence of my enemies.

You welcome me as a guest,

anointing my head with oil.

My cup overflows with blessings.

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me

all the days of my life,

and I will live in the house of the Lord forever."

World Aids Day and our Christmas Child

2009-12-01T13:52:00.002-05:00

Today is World Aids Day. I am wearing my AHOPE t-shirt and thinking of our Compassion child, Mekdes', mother, who is HIV+. I am also thinking a lot about Selah's birthmom today and wondering what the circumstances were that led her to the decision to give her little girl up. I know I'm not supposed to use that term, but honestly, "making a birth plan" just seems so fake to me. Not in all situations, but at least in ours. Making a birth plan seems so formal, so thought out, so Western. Selah's birthmom wasn't sitting with a social worker or at an adoption agency. She was probably in a little hut watching her little baby cry from hunger. What an emotional image to ponder and accept. I realize with tears in my eyes that I've never really thought of that picture of poverty before. So heavy. While "giving up her little girl" sounds too harsh, it is what happened, in my opinion. And it is harsh. A terrible, harsh reality that comes along with the brokenness of the world in which we live. Aids is real. Poverty is real. Sorrow is real. May we all pause today and think on these things at the very least, and, hopefully, think of a way to engage in this horrifying disease that claims so many millions of lives and leaves millions more orphaned.

Speaking of poverty, we have decided to do something a little different this year for the Christmas season. I don't feel like our immediate family "goes all out" on Christmas, however, we are still spoiled beyond measure. With this is mind, we wanted to do something that unified us as a family and helped us to focus on those in need. Compassion International, through whom we sponsor a precious girl we got to meet last February, has a program this year called What I Want For Christmas. By signing up, we have agreed to pray daily for a little boy named Avisek from India. He is Kole's age and is currently awaiting a sponsor, along with 100,000 other impoverished children who have signed up under Compassion. We are praying for many things, but at the top of the list, that by the end of the month, Avisek has a sponsor that will give monthly and write to him so that he can feel loved and supported both emotionally and monetarily. The kids are really getting into it, already regularly praying for him at meals and bedtimes. Kole even asked if he could take his picture to school with him. The program officially starts today and I am already touched by what is taking place in our family. Please join our family in praying for Avisek and his family this Christmas season and/or go to Compassion and sign up for an "All I Want For Christmas" packet yourself! God cares for these kids more than we could ever get a grasp on. May we do our part. And, when we regularly fail, may He do what it takes to get us (me!) back on track.

Remembering our referral

2009-11-19T21:41:00.002-05:00

One year ago today we got to see Selah for the very first time. Click here to hear about that special day. To celebrate today, we went to our friends' Jolene and Claire's house--aka "Ca," Selah's best friend. Claire came home from Ethiopia almost 3 months ago and she is just so stinkin precious...and much nicer than Selah, I might add. I hate to say that as Selah's mom, but I have to face facts. Selah is moving into the I'm-almost-one-and-a-half-and-have-a-serious-opinion-about-many-things stage. Most of the time at Claire's was spent crying over some toy or some thing that didn't go her way. Whew! At least she was an angel the past 9 months--becoming her own little person is such a part of the process, I just wish she wouldn't scream QUITE so loud when she doesn't get to feed herself something messy out of a bowl! Or when her brothers touch her. Or when I'm not paying attention. Or.....:)

Well, I just spent the night watching video of the first time we met Selah in Ethiopia. I couldn't find the video of the first time we saw her picture a year ago today, but I remember it well. Often today when I looked at her, I thought of that first picture and viewing it from Karl's office at work, Karl, the boys, and I all huddled around the computer. Man! Was that only a year ago? Hasn't Selah been a part of our family all along? Our family just feels so right.

God is so good.

What are you going to do about it?

2009-11-06T08:12:00.002-05:00

My friend Andrea's husband just posted an incredibly thought-provoking blog. I thought it was so powerful and profound, I wanted to draw your attention to it on my blog to get more readers. I can guarantee you that Karl and I are really going to be pondering this important question....

New Shaklee business cards and some good/bad stories

2009-10-30T08:48:00.006-04:00

I am really excited about my new business cards that came in the mail this week! I wish we had a better camera to take clearer shots, but hopefully you can get the idea of how fun they are!

In a similar vein, I had a great conversation yesterday with a customer I hadn't heard from in awhile, but had ordered a lot in the beginning. Here is a basic reconstruction of the conversation:

A: "Hi Danielle! This is _______, ______'s mom."

D: "Hi! How are you?"

A: "Well, I just went to the doctor, and I have a horrible case of acute dermitis. About a month ago, I ran out of the powder Shaklee laundry soap and had some Tide at home, so I started using that. Well, it was the first thing the doctor asked about. How long before I can get some Shaklee laundry soap?"

D: "Wow. I'm so sorry! Well, if we order today [Thursday] it should come in by Tuesday or Wednesday. They're usually really fast. You know, though, A, you're welcome to come by my house and get powder for a couple of loads of laundry to hold you over."

A: "I might just do that because I can't wash any of my clothes. I'm in a hurry because I'm on my way to pick up my steroid cream for the dermititis, but I'll call you later. Can I just order online?"

D: "Yep. That might be easiest. Or, I can place the order for you."

A: "Okay, I'll just go ahead and order. And I'll call you back if I need to borrow some. Thanks."

I had to look it up on two different websites, so in case you didn't know, acute irritant contact dermatitis is "produced by local exposure to a primary irritating substance. Common substances that produce an inflammatory reaction in the skin include harsh soaps, bleaches, detergents, acids, alkalis, saliva and urine. This reaction occurs in all those who are exposed to the irritating substance, variation in the severity of the dermatitis depending on the condition of the skin at the time of exposure, the strength of the irritant, the location of the eruption and local factors such as perspiration and maceration....a single exposure to a substance causes an acute dermatitis, within minutes to hours after exposure. The course of events is: irritant substance penetrates the skin. Substance damages the membranes of skin cells. Cell damage prompts release of chemicals that trigger the immune system into action. This is called an inflammatory response. The chemicals involved (inflammatory mediators) include lysozymes, prostaglandins, histamine and kinins. Some inflammatory mediators cause increased blood flow while others attract further inflammatory mediators."

You know, all the time I can look at Shaklee's website or newsletter and hear stories of people who have found better health through Shaklee products. There's something different, though, when a "real life person" has a story to tell. That just made me think of another story: my friend just recently ran out of dishwasher detergent and went back to a store brand. If you're not in the habit of buying things online, I think it can be hard when you run out of something to reorder it. Instead, sometimes we do the easier thing and pick some up at the store when we're out anyway. I understand this. I used to do this all the time, but not much anymore. Anyway, so my friend had kind of forgotten about this until her dishes started to look spotty after being cleaned. She made the connection (or her husband did, I think, in this case!) and they reordered Shaklee!

People are often worried that "green" isn't as good. This may sometimes be the case with certain products, but it is not with Shaklee. That is why their promise is "Always safe, always green, ALWAYS WORKS."

Fun stuff happening this fall!

2009-10-28T15:43:00.002-04:00

Obstacle course night with the fam.

Dad loves his boys (and girls!)

This is how "full" my life feels (and is!) these days

Owen took this of the entrance of our subdivision when we were driving in...

didn't he do a great job?!?

Selah's first playdate with her precious girlfriend Claire

(Can you tell it was hard to get these two active girls to stay put for a picture?)

Braden's hayride at Amazing Acres--me and all four kids!!!

A Great Weekend

2009-10-11T22:21:00.005-04:00

This weekend was a lot of fun for everybody in our family. Mom and Dad took the boys to the Indiana Dunes State Park for a wonderful time camping and hiking. Dad tells me this second camping trip has now officially become an annual event since "Grandma has already promised Kole next year we'll go on Trail 10." What a great tradition! The boys were in heaven and came back tired and happy--a great combination. I went to a Shaklee convention in Chicago with friends (yes, I may become one of those people!), and Karl worked, spent time with Selah (who also had a wonderful day with my friend Katie--thanks, Katie, for loving on my little girl!), and scored a goal in the Bethel College Alumni soccer game. He's such a stud :) It was also the first weekend of Crossroads North going "live." Karl spoke and I was on worship team. Now we're kind of like a church plant but still a Crossroads Community church--it's just instead of a video venue with the head pastor, Karl's speaking every week. I'm excited and so proud of him!

I love fall!

2009-10-06T14:29:00.005-04:00

Our life continues to be slightly chaotic, but with a lot of fun times in the mix!!! Today was Owen's very first field trip to Thistleberry Farms with his Salem Preschool. I love fall! We had a lot of fun navigating the corn maze, jumping on the gigantic "pillow" and playing in the corn and hay playground (you should have seen Selah's hair after that little adventure :) )

My new website!

2009-09-16T08:11:00.002-04:00

Hey everybody! Just a quick, boring post to say I launched my new website for my Shaklee business. I love it! It has some videos and info about me and our family and it's a whole lot more user friendly. With all this talk about the environment and making a difference in the world, there aren't too many more terrific companies that I've found than Shaklee. Come check it out!

Adjusting to the new normal

2009-09-13T17:45:00.010-04:00

Our campout night (Selah & I slept in the house). Two days later (after Karl spoke a sermon and I was on worship team) we headed to Chain O Lakes State Park where the Encounter group was camping for the weekend. It had been gorgeous all weekend, but the afternoon we got there, it started raining. It rained off and on (but, it felt like more on than off.) The worst part? We borrowed my family's tent (which probably hadn't been used in 15 years-literally) only to realize when we went to bed that it was leaking....badly. Between that and Selah waking up in the middle of the night and not sleeping well the rest of the night, it was rough. While the kids had fun, and we had fun sitting around the campfire talking late into the night with friends from church, it could possibly go down in history as my worst night ever. Next year will be much better, I'm sure :)
My precious god daughter, KeMiya (3 mos. and a whopping 16 lbs!)
Sassy Selah. Karl is still adjusting to the drama of a girl.
Owen and Grandad have such a special relationship. On a different note: can you tell from this picture how incredibly active our Owen is? His face and arm are totally separate incidents. What a guy!
The first day of school for our elementary school kids. Owen starts preschool 3 days a week in two days (9/15)!
Just in case you thought things were too happy, this is real life with three boys :)
My princess!
Birthday celebration #1 (I absolutely LOVE the expression on the boys' faces!)
Our friend Yemi took this one tonight (the other ones are a smattering of the summer)
Keesha does not usually look this weird, I promise (although we would still love her and be her friend even if she did :) )

Tell me how cute my big kindergartner is!
My beautiful, wonderful parents
Aunts Krissi and Alyssa, Uncle Jeremy, and Braden. It really was a wonderful summer with so much family in the area. We were so spoiled!
We love the park we discovered a couple of minutes from our house!
Owen's best buddies at his birthday party. We have three summer kid birthdays in our house!!!

Selah loves when Grandma Pat comes to visit

I can't tell you how much I cherish our affectionate family!

My beautiful god daughter, KeMauria
Silly Kole

Camping in the backyard

Braden's first day of school

Braden's birthday sleepover in July!

Selah's "make-up"birthday party
(Thanks, Towers & Gangers, for the adorable clothes!)

Enjoying her very own birthday cake

Two oldest children :)
(He's getting way too handsome and grown up)

Baking with the neighbor kids

Well, I have to say I've done much better getting another post out in cyberspace, but it's Sunday and these days of rest are so special and allow me to do what I enjoy and don't usually have the time for! I can see how God just shakes His head at us (I'm not really sure he does this, I'm just guessing!) about the Sabbath. He created it as this amazing blessing for us, and we tend to either blatantly ignore him and go about our business OR be all legalistic about it and use it as a way to look down on others when they don't follow it. I have done/do both. But it really is a gift from heaven. I know there's a whole bunch of theology and possible sermon options wrapped up in the concept of the Sabbath, but right now I'm just thankful--and thankful that I'm following it at this particular moment . I try to let go of some of my guilt with media on this day realizing that it's a day of rest for Daddy and I as well as the kids, so Karl and Braden are playing Wii, Kole and Owen are on the home computer, Selah's getting into stuff on the floor (and desperately needing a diaper change (a much bigger undertaking in a cloth diaper!) and I am catching up online. Beautiful.

Life is full here with nine people, but we are all adjusting, I think, fairly well. It continues to be the hardest on Owen who has to share me (to some extent) with KeMauria, KeMiya, and Brenna who I babysit three days a week. He's a trooper, though, and Karl and I continue to try to spend extra time with him. Keesha works part time, too, so that can be Owie and Mom time as well. Even if it's just a book and cuddle time just the two of us before naptime, we try to make it happen. I think starting preschool this week will also be a good thing. Even though lots of people under one roof has its challenges, there is still no doubt in my mind God was very clear that this was His plan for us right now, so we are trusting and living and loving and sinning and forgiving and loving again day by day by day.

Well, the vision team meeting is over, the kids have been asleep for hours, and I am ready for bed. These early mornings to get kiddos (esp. Braden) on the school bus are kicking my butt! Lately, I've been heading up to bed even before 11. For those who know my night owl habits, this hasn't been the case since who knows when--maybe pre-senior year of high school. Hope you enjoyed the pics! I enjoyed picking them out and reliving our wonderful past several months!

What a summer!

2009-08-25T08:24:00.005-04:00

I cannot even believe my last post was at the very beginning of the summer!!! It has been such a wonderful two months that I cannot begin to encapsulate in one post (especially if I want to keep readers until the end!). I don't even know which highlights to pick, but I will do my best to give you all a taste. Since most of you started reading this blog because of Selah, I'll start with our littlest peanut.

I'm so illiterate about computers, so since I stole this picture from my brother's facebook album it is really small! I just had to include it, though, because it's one of my new favorite pics of Selah and I still don't have our vacation ones uploaded. Selah is doing amazingly well. She turned one driving back from our 2 1/2 week vacation in South Carolina, so we have yet to do a celebration justice, but I'm planning on doing that next week! She is just a perfect member of our family. She's babbling like crazy, saying things like "Thank You," "Gentle," "Good Girl," "Hi," "Drink," "Ball," and "Boom." She also signs "More," "Please," "Drink," and "Thank You." She is starting to walk around furniture, pull herself up and crawl everywhere. She has become quite the little drama queen (according to Daddy, especially, who is used to 3 boys and baffled by the emotion). She has been in a little funk since vacation, waking up after being down for the night, but we started trying to break that habit last night and are seeing her more stubborn side :)

Braden and Kole started school last Tuesday. With a highly sensitive kindergartener who isn't getting on the bus with big brother (since Braden is going to a different school where the P.roviding for E.xceptional P.otential program is housed), we weren't sure what to expect, but we were so proud of KoKo. They're both liking school and making new friends. Kole's teacher said that he brings a smile to her face every day, which does not surprise me a bit. Kole is most upset when, according to him, big brother forgets to tell him a school or bus rule so he gets "reminded." What a sweetie. Braden is also loving his new school. He transitions so easily and just has this incredible self confidence. He blows me away. He already has a play date this Friday with a new friend. Luckily, he also has one good friend from his old school that went to the program, too, so that has also helped ease the transition. On vacation, he got stung by this MASSIVE jellyfish and had this MASSIVE mark to show it (you could actually see the whole line of tentacles down his leg!) and didn't even cry!!! Speaking of our vacation (a Christmas gift from my parents who own timeshare), it was AMAZING. The first 1 1/2 weeks was just our family of 6 in Edisto Island relaxing at the pools and beach and having good quality time. We missed our vacation last summer/year and don't ever want to do that again! The second week was with the whole Lugbill clan in Hilton Head. Perfect! I really do have an amazing family and it was just so good to all be together in such a BEAUTIFUL place! Thanks, Mom & Dad!!!!!

Okay, back to the kids' updates: Owen is hanging in there. I should probably mention he broke his arm jungle gyming on his brother's loft and just got it off a week ago. It was waterproof, though, and it didn't manage to slow him down at all. He is such a spirited kid!!! Speaking of that, he is having a rough time with our latest change--our friend and her two little girls moving into our basement. They needed a place and while it didn't make tons of sense if you think about (especially after you read the next paragraph which happened in the same 5 day time frame!), I felt more confident than I had in a LONG time that this was what God wanted. (That is another story in itself. God is so good!) Anyway, it's very different than what we're used to, and Owen is understandably struggling. BUT, he's getting a lot of extra Daddy and Mommy time since the boys are at school and he gets to stay up later, so hopefully that will help. He especially loves his Daddy time :) Can you blame him?

Last big change/piece of news. Our wonderful house is up for sale! We do not know what the future holds, but we know that God is directing and faithful and good. Karl's dream for a long time has been to get his Masters, and it looks like God may be leading him to do that more full-time. There are tons of different scenarios, but since regardless it would involve less hours at the church, Karl's salary would really go down, so....our house is up for sale and we wait for God to direct more. We are a little scared, but very excited at what God is doing. It would be a miracle for it to sell for even most of what it's worth, but that is what we're trusting it will do and in the meantime, we wait and pray.

Okay, precious Owen has been waiting patiently for a game of Operation, so I must go. Sorry to disappoint with so few pictures (the starting one is our new Lugbill family picture taken at my parent's house), but now that we're back in the swing of things, I'll try to post more faithfully! Sorry I've been so awol lately....and that I haven't been reading my friends' blogs either! Life just goes by so fast!

2009-06-17T11:39:00.005-04:00

I'm not really a lover of rain-that-lasts-forever type days/weeks,

but how can you resist something this cute? It's so fun to sit out on the porch and watch the rain as a family, or go out and play in it. Most recently, we've been loving watching all the birds and critters (hummingbirds may be our favorites) that have been congregating in our back yard thanks to Karl's birdfeeders. Grandma is going to even let us borrow a bird book so we can find some we don't recognize.

We're really loving Grandma and Grandad's pool-even Selah!

Daddy loves his kiddos! He's especially been focusing on getting good "Owie time" lately.

Within a couple of days, both boys got stuck in Selah's toy jeep.
The older boys have been loving listening to Adventures in Odyssey. Owen does, too, but his favorite is The Magic Tree House series, which the older boys also love. The library has both, but recently, Focus on the family (that's Odyssey) started putting all the episodes online. Here, they are listening, and Braden is creating a playlist :) Also, a new site I love for the kids: Compassion International's to help the kids experience the world and kids in poverty.
Kole lost his first two teeth! His second one at the table while enjoying a Memorial Day picnic with Grandma and Grandad.
Selah and A enjoying some girl time during our swimming day at the pool
Selah's first time eating curry. She truly is Ethiopian--10 mos. and loving some spicy food!
She's enjoying feeding herself a little--pincher grasp is still not there, but she's getting closer!
At our garage sale. With her four teeth, I call this her goober smile. We are blessed by it often.

The last week of school, Braden got a special All-Star award. Grandad joined us for the ceremony. His teacher Mrs. Meckley has been such a joy this year!

Aunt Krissy--a soon to be mom herself!

Uncle Jeremy having pizza night with the boys. They came home for our cousin Emily's wedding at the end of May. This summer Jer and Kristin will be coming home for 6 WEEKS culminating with a family vacation in Hilton Head in August. We are beyond thrilled. I even started crying tears of joy. With our precious Justin and Erica moved to Chicago, we really miss our big family. Thankfully, though, having Aunt Alyssa back from Paraguay these 6 months (even with mono!) has been such a blessing. We're just excited to ALL be together for a short staycation in June and then again for a full week in August. WOOHOO!!!

This is not a regular occurence, but little missy did stand up like a big girl in her bed the other day. I keep waiting for the day I will walk in and she'll be up waiting for me! She is also "army crawling" all over the place, but I'm not sure if she'll ever do the traditional crawl. She gets around like a champ and seems completely content with her mobility choices :)

So, that's us. The hardest thing lately is that I don't seem to have time for friends. Hardly at all. I am SO looking forward to my annual college girl's trip taking place in September, although I'll still be wearing the Mom hat since we think it's best for Selah to come along. Last year, with the uncertainty of Selah's arrival and adoption expenses, I didn't go for the first time ever, and I sorely missed it. I vowed that it would NEVER (if I could help it) happen again. But even though I miss friendships, I can't imagine life being any fuller with my beautiful, active, vibrant, tiring, energetic, silly children. They are the biggest blessing (and, besides, for those tiring times, I just found a great concealer at Sephoras :) )

Did I mention I LOVE this time of year!!!

We are alive!

2009-05-21T15:59:00.004-04:00

Life is so busy these days. I can't reiterate enough how trashed my house is. I remember the Hutchinsons, who have one more kid than us, talking about this. My goal is in the next two weeks to have Karl take the kids for two days so that I can do some purging and organizing. It is ridiculous. I need a month, but I'm hoping two days will hold me over. The thing is, I love being a Mommy to these four amazing kiddos. Life is beautiful. I just hate that an always messy house needs to be part of the mix :) To name just a few of the last month's events:

Precious, sensitive, wonderful Kole turned six and just graduated from pre-K (he was a penguin at this graduation/end of the year program).
Selah now has four teeth--a slight problem for nursing, but very, very cute.
Braden got accepted into the P.roviding for E.xceptional P.otential program and, therefore, he and Kole will be switching elementary schools next year.
I am reading Raising Your Spirited Child and it is really helping on my Owen perspective. I love his energy and drama and zeal. I just need to remind myself of this on a daily basis!
Crossroads North Campus is going really well. We are building new relationships and the campus, where Karl is pastor, has a really good feel.

We have so much to be thankful for! But, my timer just rang to play with Owen, so I'll have to add more pictures later (I wonder how much later that will turn out being!!!) Thanks for your patience....

Earth Day!!!

2009-04-28T11:15:00.003-04:00

If you've been following my blog for awhile, you know I'm a Shaklee distributer, and I really believe in the company and their products. I wanted to put a post on last week in honor of Earth Day and my wonderful Kole's 6th birthday (he's an Earth Day baby!) Well, they just came out with their new baby/kids' line and it looks fabulous. A little pricey, I know, but I'm hoping it's worth it! When I get annoyed with the price, I really try to think about all the initiatives and the difference they're making all over the world. Here are just a few examples:

Shaklee has been going green long before it was cool--1960, in fact, was when Dr. Shaklee first came out with an organic, concentrated cleaner so there would be less packaging and an "all-in-one" cleaner that doesn't pollute your house more than when you started. To give you a hint, I use my h2 for bug repellant, dusting, windows/glass, bathrooms, bubble bath, and many other things!!!
In 2007, Shaklee became the first company in the world to offset its carbon emissions by providing sustainable energy to electrify villages in Africa in partnership with Millennium Promise.
In 2006, Dr. Wangari Maathai, winnder of the 2004 Nobel Peace Prize, becomes the Global Ambassador for A Million Trees. A Million Dreams, a Shaklee environmental campaign that raises awareness of global climate change and initiates efforts to plant trees in North America and Africa. To date, they have planted millions and millions and millions of trees...5 more for every Get Clean starter kit purchased!
In 2000 Shaklee opened its World Headquarters, one of the first green, energy-saving, award-winning buildings designed using sustainable materials, including certified sustainable wood, recycled carpets, and recycled plastics.

There are SO many more things, but this is a little taste! I started just using the cleaning products, but now I use their shampoo/conditioner, vitamins, make-up (minerals), and face regiman! I know I seem like an addict, but I really am sold. I just feel like it's a good choice overall for my family and myself...and the world.

I have recently gotten a website (for at least another 5 months!) so feel free to visit (although the newly launched kids/baby line isn't on there yet!) If you have any questions, please contact me. It really is a good move for everyone! Happy late Earth Day!

Some Easter pics

2009-04-20T14:47:00.004-04:00

Mom and Selah...Mom's in heaven now that she can start

holding her on a regular basis!

The Easter Egg hunt. (The boys left us in the dust)

Could she be any cuter?!? Notice the little hands...that's what I was
talking about with the boys always pulling on her b/c they love
her so much!

Four generations of Riegsecker women. We have such
an amazing heritage. Thanks, Grandma and Grandad!

I'm having a bit of trouble figuring out our new uploading software for our new camera, but here are some pics of Easter from my Dad. Enjoy!

Our beautiful kiddos

2009-04-17T21:27:00.003-04:00

We continue to have a great time adjusting to our family of six. The boys continue to love their sister, and she continues to light up when she's around them. Some big news:

Selah's bottom tooth popped through.
Selah got a cold the day before Easter, but she's doing well.
She started getting up on all fours just a little tonight as well as pivoting around on her stomach super well.
First Steps (our early developmental intervention program) came to evaluate her this past week and while she's a little behind in all the major areas, she's not enough behind to qualify for services. We will just work on things at home. Karl and I are both optimistic she'll be great by the time they come back in 3 months and, if not, we'll welcome the help getting her where she needs to be.

I am now going on day three of trying to get my windows clean, which is a little discouraging, but it's SO wonderful to have a beautiful, warm couple of days. Spring has finally come. Thank you, Jesus!!!!

Teachable moments

2009-04-10T14:53:00.002-04:00

I've decided that it's okay to write short, funny (at least to me!) blurps about our day to day life on here. That way, maybe people will realize we exist, and I won't wait to write until I have great pictures or profound nuggets of wisdom. Here is what just happened as my kids' ate hotdogs, celery boats, bananas, and jojos. I, the English teacher, was teaching my 3, 5, and 7 year old boys about alliteration. I was giving them examples:

Braden buys Bakugans.
Kole can read crazy books.

I guess Owen felt left out, so he piped up, "Owen makes stinky stuff on my bootie!"

Happy One Month, Selah Joy!

2009-03-29T11:24:00.003-04:00

This weekend marks one month of our Selah being home. When people ask me how we're doing and I respond, "Super!" "Great!" or similarly, I think perhaps they don't believe me. I know from reading and have friends who have experienced post adoption depression in various forms and generally rough transitions. That, however, has not been our experience. For whatever reason, God has chosen to give us one of the best months of my life. Selah is such a perfect fit for our family. She sleeps well, eats well, has bonded well, and is overall just a joy to be around! And the boys have been so amazing. Honestly, my biggest complaint is they want to hang on her too much and it weighs me down! Can you believe it?!? So, in honor of this most amazing of months, I have put together a video starting in Ethiopia the first time we met her and ending with a couple of days ago for your viewing pleasure. I cannot say enough how your kind words, gifts, prayers have meant to us. We really have reason to praise God day after day after day.

2009-03-18T23:15:00.003-04:00

Dad got some cool new program and has been sending me these wonderful picture montages. On my blog, they're a little small to see, but hopefully you can get the idea. Thanks, Dad. These are such wonderful memories!!!

EWWWW!!!! And a plug for adoptive nursing

2009-03-16T22:55:00.003-04:00

In Ethiopia, Karl lovingly stole a nickname from someone to give to me. To my husband, I am now sometimes known as "Filter." You can guess where this name comes from, especially for those of you that know me pretty well. Well, I start this off with that little tidbit, because this might be one of those cases when I should refrain from saying anything. However, as is usually the case in these situations, I simply can't resist.

First, let me seriously say that adoptive nursing is possible. Even for a 6 1/2 month old that's been exclusively bottle-fed for 5+ months. And, in my opinion, it's so worth it if you have the time/money/energy/etc. This isn't a guilt thing for the thousands of adoptive parents who don't, it's just encouragement for those of you who have thought about it but felt like it was too overwhelming of a task. I can be pretty stubborn when I put my mind to something (don't tell Karl I admitted this....he doesn't read my blog, so if you tell him, I'll deny it :) ), but I can also be really bad with follow through on my myriad of good ideas, so I wouldn't necessarily be the best candidate for this sort of undertaking. BUT, I have done it! Selah has done it!!! And I think we are stronger (at several levels) because of the choice I made. Having said that, the following story might contradict my previous encouragement.

Today, my house was a complete disaster when my neighbor came to take the boys to a movie. So, I had app. 2 1/2 hours to nurse and get my house as presentable as possible. Part way through cleaning the kitchen, I realized I had forgotten to take my domperidone, so I popped the pill in my mouth and took a huge swig of milk from this morning. BIG MISTAKE!!!!!! The milk that I put in my mouth was not cow's milk. It was not Owen's rice milk. Oh no. The milk that I made the GIGANTIC mistake of starting to swallow was my own. Literally. That may take the cake for the grossest thing I've ever experienced. For you, too?!?

-Filter

How are the boys?

2009-03-06T10:01:00.006-05:00

More than any other specific question, this is what people want to know. And honestly, the boys are great. Now, the day we arrived home scared me quite a bit. First of all, I was tired beyond description. Even with Selah being a complete angel on the 17 hour flight (and again on the layover and 2 hour flight), I was exhausted. So, when Owen had TWO meltdowns within a few hours of being back because I was holding the baby and not him, I was worried...and overwhelmed. But since that first day together, things have been really smooth. At mom's advice, I've been working really hard to include Owen and make him the "helpful big brother" and it's working! As you can tell from the pictures, Selah is much more sure of her older two brothers than her third, but she tolerates him well :) And he really is sweet to her. But the other two are just incredible. The one picture was two nights ago when Braden wore the Bjorn and Selah actually fell asleep on his chest and we put a blanket over her head so Braden could eat supper with her strapped to him. They think it's pretty special that they're really the only ones that get to hold their sister and both Braden and Kole can pretty much make her smile whenever they try. In fact, the Sunday night after we got back I was laying in bed with Braden and asked him how things were going. He responded, "Good as far as getting enough attention [something that he had been worried about since we had tried to warn the boys about anything in case it was a really rough transition], bad because Selah sleeps all the time!" Whew.

My sister has been a complete God-send this week. Because Mom and Dad took time off to watch the boys while we were in Ethiopia, and Karl's mom is coming next week, Alyssa decided to take it upon herself to be our servant for the week. It has been incredible. With Karl describing this as the "Most stressful week of his life" because of the North campus launching Sunday (and he's not the one prone to drama in our family!) having Alyssa here most definitely has made the difference in me saying this was an amazing week, instead of a REALLY hard week. Well, Alyssa and the other three wonderful families that have brought us meals. WE ARE SO BLESSED. I probably say that a lot, but if I said it even ten times more, it wouldn't be even enough!!!

Lastly, Selah had her first appointment with her pediatrician, Dr. Davis, on Wednesday and she's doing great! She's small, of course, but she is on the chart, and developmentally she's right on target. We'll have an appointment in about a month with the international adoption clinic, but I really think it's just a formality and things should check out great. Oh, and I'm banned from Target. I really think that when I go into that store (like I did with Selah after her doctor's appointment) my brain matter turns to mush and I forget that we're on a very tight budget. There's just WAY TOO MUCH CUTE STUFF!!! So I just won't go. For a long, long time. :)

We're home!

2009-03-01T22:11:00.007-05:00

As I type this, I once again have a precious baby girl sleeping on my lap. I think she thinks that night is coming to an end (it's 10:19 p.m. here) and day is just beginning. That's what I'm afraid of since she's been sleeping quite consistently off and on since 12:30 or so. Yikes. Well, as with most of life, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I know that what most people really want to see is pictures, so I tried to post a plethera of those, although pictures never capture just how amazing something/someone is. I am starting to hit the effects of jet lag again, so I'll save the comments for another day and let you soak in some of the pics in reverse order of the week ("starting" with coming home late last night around 11 and "ending" with seeing Selah for the first time). Other pictures include Selah's special nanny; our visit with our Compassion child, Mekdes, and her mother; the moms at the coffee company; time with Robel, our guide and friend; sleeping in the bassinet on the 17 hour flight home; and just lovin on our daughter. Unforgettable. That'a good word to describe much of what took place this week. I'll write more about it later. P.S. Pray for Karl. I think he has the ET funk...and he has to work this week (since Sunday the new service opens at the North Campus and there's still so much to do!)

Thursday news

2009-03-01T19:28:00.002-05:00

Hey, all. Danielle actually sent me this update, Thursday night, but I'd assumed she wouldn't be writing any more and stopped checking my e-mail. So I'm so sorry to those of you "blog stalkers" who have been dying for lack of news. Here's what she wrote:

As I write this, the guys are outside the hotel waiting to leave for the infamous "Guys Night" with Robel. He said they were going to the beer garden, but I can't tell if he's joking or not :) Regardless of what they do, I'm sure it will be a good time. We girls are thinking we'll do something too with the kiddos. For Shelley and Anna, it will be their first official playdate! William and Shelley finally got to take Liam today from the TH and he seems like a different kid. PRAISE THE LORD! Speaking of sickness, we had a scare during the night as well.... Selah is an exceptional baby. She is peaceful almost all the time except when she's doing this absolutely ADORABLE cuing thing. Her little voice just melts my (and Daddy's!) heart.

On Tuesday night (our first night with her) she slept the entire night. Literally. I don't think she woke up for a bottle until 7:30 and went down early the night before. We fed her at 10 p.m. and changed her diaper, but she never even woke up! She is so easy! Anyway, last night, she woke up around 2 and was very upset. At first, I wondered if she was grieving but quickly realized by her cry that she was in pain. We fed her (and she ate) but then woke up an hour later with that same pitiful cry again. Daddy rocked her in bed and she fell back asleep until 5:30, but then the same thing. I'm not really a worrier, but I was very concerned. It's so different being in another country, not having your doctor near by, not knowing for certain that it's not just a cold or harmless virus. At 8 after more fussiness, we called the nurse, Fortuna, on her cell phone and explained what was happening. She ended up taking us to a clinic where the doctor who had examined Selah at the TH worked. The Chans also went and the Renos to look over their little guys. Come to find out, it looks like I may have gotten her sick. What a good mommy I am! Early in the week we left, I had a sore throat and felt very achy. Then, it went away, but when we got to Ethiopia, I had a hint of a sore throat and I was so worried I would give it to someone so I tried to be careful, but of course, I'm meeting our daugher for the first time and then it went away so I wasn't being careful. Well, sure enough, the doctor thought after the exam that her body was achy, she had a fever, and a sore throat. I'm trying to get over the guilt. No, I'm fine. I'm sure she'll pass things to me as well, I just feel so badly it happened this quickly. After the clinic, we went to visit the Compassion child and the project she's from. I want to tell much about that, but my precious daughter woke up and is sitting with the receptionist, so I will save it for another time :) Ethiopian culture is WONDERFUL. Karl and I both have been amazed by the people here. More for later.... Oh, one more thing, other than these ailments from the babies that is manageable, the adults are doing very well. I thought much this morning about the prayers of the yg and others and wondered just how much of your prayers have made this trip what it is. Liam is with Mom and Dad now and we are all tired yet content and ready for the long flight home tomorrow night (we leave at 10:30 p.m.) YG, I CAN'T WAIT to tell some of you about your kids!!!

Day two...and final news from Ethiopia

2009-02-24T09:12:00.001-05:00

I can't handle being away from our little girl one more second in the moments we have left while sitting in Robel's office, but I just wanted to share not to expect anything else from this travel group (probably). We will not be visiting the TH again and Robel's office seems to be the only sure thing for getting through on the internet. WE'RE SO SORRY!!! I just want you all to know that your children are amazing and we got some great shots if we had releases, although they are much more careful now and brought the babies out for some quick pics in front of the fireplace. Karen, Karl got a great one of your precious smiling, though!!! It is amazing!!! ALL the little babies looked so much healthier than the last pics I had seen and I was able to speak with the main nanny and Fortuna, the head nurse, to make sure she understood details about vitamins, etc. What an amazing day that I can't wait to process. Love to you all from Ethiopia.

Day One (and just a tidge of two) in Ethiopia

2009-02-24T09:05:00.002-05:00

Wow. What do you say about the day you meet your daughter for the first time? I have so many thoughts whirling around in my head. I will start, though, with the lighter stuff. God’s provision on our trip was clear, as every step of our adoption journey has been. Because of an impending snow storm, Karl and I decided at the last minute to leave for Chicago the night before and stay with my bro and sis-in-law. So, we had our last pizza night on the couch with the boys and then Mom and Dad took them to their house and we ran around doing the last few items on our to-do list. We ended up getting to Chicago around midnight their time (an hour later for us). We had a wonderful tour of Justin and Erica’s new place, gabbing for a little, and then went to bed. We were up and around by 9 because we had forgotten something (go figure!) so we had to get to a store before heading to the airport. Our entire trip went so smoothly. We just missed the snowstorm (my friend, Melissa, called upon hearing 200 flights were cancelled at O’Hare!) and had a nice layover only to leave on time again in D.C. The flight really wasn’t bad at all. I kept finding myself thinking, “Is this really happening?” “Are we really going to pick up our daughter that we’ve waited for for so long?!?” When we got to the airport in Addis, we had to wait in a long line for our visa and then another line for immigration and then got stopped by a man about the donations we were taking in. That felt like a close call to me, but Karl thinks he was perhaps trying to get paid off, so we just did what he said (not paying him anything) and were able to get by and go out to meet our driver with no further problems. I kept thinking we’d meet people from America World, but we ended up not meeting anyone until our “official meeting” at 10 the next morning after a fitful but good night sleep.

It’s so crazy to meet people that you’ve heard so much about for so many months. Our group is wonderful with a lot of variety. We have first time parents, parents of about to be nine children, and us. Duni and Robel have been great walking us through the process of yet more paperwork and taking us where we need to be. Also, it has been a joy getting to know a little more about the other families that we will now forever be linked to. I started getting nauseous—in a good way!—as we prepared to leave the Hilton (our paperwork party place) for the transition home. I get butterflies now just thinking about it! We had about a 20 minute drive and pulled up to a set of silver doors. We were there!!!! We quickly assigned who would take video/pictures as each of the families went, family by family, to meet their kids. The Renos helped us out and then we returned the favor. We got to go first because of our last name, but when we arrived we were told Gelila was sleeping, so we said we’d wait. Then, a minute later, here she came!!! It was so amazing and surreal at the same time. They had dressed her in the outfit we sent over and had done her hair in little pigtails all over her head. It was so precious. She was sleeping when they handed her to me and she was so tiny! She started to wake up and look at me and I think she (of course!) didn’t know what to think. But she just studied my face with her gorgeous brown eyes, as calm as can be. She is so precious! I can’t wait to introduce her to people. Fairly shortly, I handed her to Karl and she began studying him, too. She was really out of it (that precious I’m-really-still-sleeping-here kind of out of it!) but one of the things we learned about her is she can suck down a bottle (slowly, but consistently) while appearing to be sound asleep!) Karl and I both spent time feeding her a bottle for about 30 minutes, I’m guessing. It was when her bottle was done that she woke up and really came to life. She started being very interactive and making lots of squealing sounds. We also learned she loves her tongue and may be a thumb-sucker! She spent a long time interacting with us. Duni told us that this was the day to interact and get to know our kids/babies and tomorrow we could be passing out care packages, giving donations, etc. but I couldn’t help myself. The toddlers especially were a riot! They just crawl all over you! Karl and I both had a couple of buddies that were just dying for attention. Sherry, I got your middle son on video bouncing on Karl’s lap, talking and laughing. He was so precious. And Kristen, your sweet girl shared a room with Gelila (along with many other babies) and when I walked in she was laying on the mat watching me. The second I bent down and picked her up, she just SMILED this beautiful smile! I wish I could have captured it on camera, but the memory is precious. Anna spent a lot of time holding her. Hilary, your little girl looks so big, I didn’t even recognize her. She had the cutest little outfit on (it was the Olivia line from Target—the same as Selah’s nursery—I’m thinking maybe you sent it to her? J ) and she was sitting in the bumbo seat. I think she’s gotten more hair! But she was still so tiny and precious, she just looked really healthy. Your little man came up to me (along with a whole crew of toddlers) when I opened up my bag looking for something. I felt so horrible, because I didn’t have treats in there or anything, just care packages, and you could tell they were like, “What in the world! Who is this white woman that comes in here, opens up a bag in our presence, and doesn’t have anything in there for us!” It was funny, but I wish I had brought them little treats today. Don’t worry, tomorrow I’m going to ask the nannies if I can give them stickers….and chocolate J Tomorrow will be the day that we work really hard at passing out care packages and taking pictures with all the families we have care packages/consent forms for, but let me just say as all those who have gone before me have as well, the nannies love these kiddos! Speaking of nannies, we also got to meet Gelila’s nanny (I’m using Selah’s Ethiopian name mostly here since that’s what she’s used to and what all the workers at the TH know her as). She was only there near the end, but it’s obvious she loves her very much and the feelings are mutual. She was the one that got her hair all ready and, probably dressed her in the clothes we had bought her. I am hoping someone can translate tomorrow so we can talk with her more.

One more blessing is as we were preparing to leave, the pediatrician came that takes care of the kids. We were each able to meet with him and go over our child’s records for the last several months. He described Selah’s skin condition as an allergy/sensitivity/eczema and instructed us on how to care for it, but seriously, it already looked so much better! He also gave us the growth chart and her page of medical records since she’s been at the TH, but she’s been so healthy, that there wasn’t much to see except for all the info on her skin.

Speaking of this, if you could all be praying for little Liam Chan. When we arrived, the Chan’s found out that their little man is running a high fever and is not doing well. Before they left, the doctor spent a long time examining him and hooked him up to an IV. Of course, Shelley and William are very overwhelmed by this new development and would really appreciate all your prayers. (If this hasn’t made it to the yg, can someone please post it there? Shelley asked that the yg prayer warriors would go to town!)

Well, it’s 11 o’clock and tomorrow is Gotcha Day—the day we get to take Selah with us forever—so we need to get some sleep. The internet was down and is now running impossibly slow (I couldn’t get onto my e-mail account) so Robel said tomorrow we could go into the office and e-mail. I will be sending this entry via e-mail to my sis who will then post it to the blog. Because of the internet issues, though, and the fact that we’re not going to the TH after tomorrow, this may be my last post from Ethiopia. Rest assured, though, that I will be journaling and catch up for lost time when we return. I know it’s not the same for all you blog stalkers (I have been one for so long now, I know!), but it is hope for the future, at least J

We are SO happy. They say not to have expectations or, rather, to expect anything, but today was better than we could have dreamed. We are blessed beyond measure.

News from Addis!

2009-02-23T20:43:00.007-05:00

Hi, Danielle's faithful readers! This is her sister writing on behalf of the Black family. She hasn't had access to the Internet, so she asked that I keep all of you up to date on their time with Selah and assure you that she'll be giving all the details upon her return (as well as lots of pictures, I'd imagine!:) She called my parents, this morning, and told them that they had gotten to spend 2 hours with Selah earlier (we are 8 hours behind them) and it had been more incredible than she'd even imagined. Tomorrow night, they'll get to have her sleep with them in the hotel!

The rest of the family is doing great, too! Sunday Grandma and Grandad took the boys to Ohio, where they got to drive the Gator and go sledding with their cousins. I didn't go on that excursion, so I can't provide many more details than that. But I am proud to report that their quality time with me is reflected in their new found love of Spanish words for various sweets. Basically, I've decided that since I'm the aunt and not the mom, and the ability to speak Spanish is an amazing lifelong skill, and they are the perfect age to pick it up, and incentives really are the key to all meaningful learning... well... I've decided that I'll basically give them anything they want as long as they can ask for it in Spanish and Grandma and Grandad will be the ones putting them to bed, afterwards. For those of you who don't know me, I just returned from teaching English in Paraguay. Anyway, I'm sure my sister will be overjoyed to return and find the fluency with which her boys can ask "Puedo tener mas caramelos, pororo, chicle, helado, marvadiscos, y chocolate?" Yup, we're doing just fine. Life in the Black household will never be the same.

Check, check, check, and check.

2009-02-18T21:58:00.002-05:00

Hey everybody! Thanks for your prayers. I say that prayers and supplements helped bring about a miracle :) I am so much better! I actually have been for two days. Thank you, Jesus! (and Shaklee! :) ) Just wanted to check in with everyone and say things are great. Thanks to Shelley and Alyssa watching the boys the past two afternoons, I have pretty much all my errands run--even buying all the donations. In fact, since I still have two good friends bringing formula donations to me, I am REALLY going to have to take some of my own back to Sam's!!! I looked into taking extra/over-sized baggage to Africa, and for us, it just doesn't seem worth it. We are talking extra charges from $125-400 PER BAG!!!! Can you imagine?!? I'd rather just take our allowable limit and then make monetary donations. I don't know how some people did it (took many, many, many bags). They are WAY more amazing than me.

My list says we're on target to leave Saturday morning around 8:30 a.m. It ends up we're going to leave our car at my brother and sis-in-law's new condo and Justin will drive us to the airport. Our flight to Washington D.C. leaves at 1:15 and arrives around 4. Then, around 8 we fly out of Dulles all the way to Addis Ababa, with a refueling in Rome. It kills me that we're stopping in Rome and will only be able to look out the window, but oh well. We actually arrive Sunday evening in Ethiopia.

Two more quick pieces of news to share: one was a pretty huge scare, I guess you could say. Yesterday we got Selah's birth certificate via e-mail which is written in Amharic and English. Someone pointed out that the gender said "male." I seriously thought, "God, are you serious?!? Could this really be happening?!?" But then I realized that if something this wild and crazy happened and Selah was really a baby boy, we'd just have to trust God!!! It would be too over-the-top not to think He had His hand in it! Not that I would be totally okay with it at first (the nursery IS pink on two walls, after all :) Kristen at America World, though, has assured us today that it's a misprint and they'll get it corrected. I mean, I thought she was way too pretty to be a boy, but Owen called Karl pretty tonight, so I guess boys are pretty, too.

In other news, we got a weight update today and Selah has gained one pound bringing her to a whopping 13 pounds at 6 months. In some ways, I wish she was bigger as far as her growth and development, but I have to admit, I'm so excited that she's just a little peanut. Karl and I both love the baby stage so much, and we feel so excited that to us, who were used to 16 pound babies at 4 months and who's tiniest little guy is now 35 pounds, 13 pounds is going to feel so small...and wonderful!

At Encounter last night, Karl talked about the different names of God. We were then asked to put/draw God's name to us right now on a notecard. One of the words I put was extravagant. God is so extravagant right now in my life. I feel like what He has done in my life and in this adoption is SO OVER THE TOP, I just feel like bursting with the joy and gratitude in my heart.
Thank you, Jesus, for all your gifts to us. You truly are extravagant. I love you.

Signing off...I probably won't write until we're on our way. TWO MORE DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not in the plan

2009-02-15T07:02:00.002-05:00

So far, I am ticking away at my to do list--I'm right where I need to be. And that was even with sickness in my family. However, now I'm sick. I consider myself to have a high pain tolerance, but this may just be a strep thing. I'm achy and my throat hurts so bad I can barely swallow. I guess I didn't have to worry about skipping church after all. BUT, the show must go on. Nevermind that my parents are in Paradise (yep, that's really the name of the place in the U.P. of Michigan) having a grand old time and my husband is in sunny California. And my precious Braden started throwing up (separate illness, I believe) But I'm not bitter. Truly. And this is not, Shelley, an attempt to get some free dinner out of you (because I know you would do it if I would let you--you're amazing). I just wanted to get it out at 7:05 in the morning. I would even take a picture of my throat and show you...if it didn't take so much stinkin' energy (and risk losing forever some of my more squeemish blog readers). My motto for today: We will survive!!!!!

Eight days and counting....

2009-02-13T13:41:00.003-05:00

So, I'm going to kill two birds with one stone and make my to do list for the next eight days on my blog. I thought this might also give people an idea of what needs to take place to make everything happen in fairly short order! I am one of those psycho people that likes to write things down even after they've happened to make me feel better, so don't mind the fact that I'm starting with Thursday. :)

Thursday, 2/12
1. Pick up upstairs rooms (after putting the kids into different rooms over the weekend)
2. Go through piles
3. America World travel conference call
4. Shop at Target for almost EVERYTHING we need for travel to Ethiopia and Selah's room
5. Go to Carrie's to pick up my amazing set of African-American hair products (Carol's Daughter) and get a mini-lesson. Also pick up money belt and large suitcase

Friday, 2/13
1. Take Karl to the airport at 5:15 a.m. (that's just so you feel sorry for me)
2. Dentist appointments for the rest of us at 8 (also so you'll feel sorry for me)
3. Receive unexpected GORGEOUS flowers from my amazing, far-away Valentine
4. Check e-mail and start lining up some meals for the week we're home
5. E-mail Lisa about prescription donations needed at the transition home
6. Write thank you notes
7. Library
8. Pizza and movie night on the couch with the boys :)
9. Put together mini bookshelf for Selah's room
10.Check United Limo schedule for Saturday
11. Print off documents needed to take to Ethiopia
12. Finish packing Selah's bag
13. Start putting donations in two duffels

Saturday, 2/14
1. Wake up feelings sorry for myself because it's Valentine's Day. Then, look at my flowers and realize just how good I have it. Call Karl and tell him :)
2. Clean nasty kitchen
3. Sweep and dust upstairs
4. Do something special with the boys (Probably from my Every Day a Holiday book)
5. Jenna coming over to be my substitute Valentine :)

Sunday, 2/15
1. Go to church (still up in the air :) We may take this Sunday off and do church at home)
2. Lunch with Alyssa and Eric
3. SABBATH!!! BE WITH THE BOYS!!! Resist the urge to do other things

Monday, 2/16
1. Babysit Brenna
2. Laundry
3. Pack my clothes/see what's missing
4. Bank
5. Grocery shop/meal plan
6. Send off last of One family t-shirt orders
7. Contact the health department to see if I can still get a menangitis shot. Schedule.
8. Get an izoom in case we drive to Chicago instead of United Limo

Tuesday, 2/17
1. Karl home :)
2. Babysit Brenna
3. Call Bristol St. Pediatrics about consent form to treat children form for Mom and Dad
4. Call Mom and Dad and as what they need while we're gone (meal plans, etc.), then make up appropriate lists to leave with them.
5. Do something special with the boys
6. Church

Wednesday, 2/18
1. Have Karl make copies of passports, credit cards, and flight itineraries
2. Have Karl begin to pack
3. While Shelley babysits, run to Lowes (door pulls for Selah's dresser and returns), pharmacy for scabies and dramamine, and donation meds
4. Buy other last minute items didn't find last week at Target
5. Don't forget to pick Braden up late from Math Pentathalon!

Thursday, 2/19
1. Buy remaining donation items
2. Finish packing donation and care package duffels
3. Sweep/dust the downstairs
4. Call Sharpline to make sure I can drop the van off there for work while we're gone

Friday, 2/20
1. Be together as a family
2. Reserve United Limo tickets or talk with Justin and Erica about parking at their place in Chicago
3. Last minute odds and ends
4. Pack carry-ons
5. Load luggage into the van
6. Clean all the bathrooms
7. Make sure copies and lists are on the counter for Mom and Dad
8. Library
9. Last pizza and movie night on the couch with just the "boys" and mom :)
10. Clean out fridge
11. Take van to Sharpline

Saturday, 2/21
1. Leave early in the morning for Chicago, then Dulles, and then on to Addis Ababa! Two days until we meet Selah!!!

You know, I'm glad I did this. There's a lot to do, but it looks VERY do-able when I break it down like this. I may or may not let you know how it's going :) If not, you'll hear from me (maybe I can even get Karl to write some thoughts :) in transit and in Ethiopia, as long as we can get an internet connection :) WE CONTINUE TO BE SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A madhouse!!!!

2009-02-12T10:30:00.005-05:00

I just had a long post that disappeared giving you all updates on how life is going on in the Black house. I don't want to take the time to post it all again (ARGH!), but suffice it to say we are doing fine and riding on the excitement of that little princess Karl and I will get to meet in 11 short days (we leave in 9!) Life is quite stressful with all that needs to be accomplished in the next 9 days, but God has been so good and we are chipping away at things little by little. The nursery is GORGEOUS thanks to my sis and sis-in-law and our Saturday marathon. Selah's suitcase is mostly packed, and tonight I will go shopping to see if I can tackle some of the HUGE list of items I still need to buy.

This is all good since Karl leaves in the morning for a 3 day speaking retreat (back through the night in time for work Tuesday morning!) My wonderful husband is worse than I am, trying to get everyone at work up to speed for our trip since he is becoming the Campus pastor for our church's North Campus which starts its service 8 DAYS AFTER WE GET BACK!!! AHHHH!!!! Thank you all for your continued love, support, and encouragement. We TRULY cannot tell you how your kindness has lifted us up and made this entire adoption journey so much more amazing. We are SO THANKFUL to have you in our lives. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!!!!

SHE IS OURS!!!!! Introducing our daughter....

2009-02-02T13:05:00.005-05:00

Our travel dates are confirmed. As of right now, we fly out of O'Hare airport to pick up our baby girl February 21st and return on February 28th--my mom's birthday!!!! We are looking for a decently priced flight from South Bend to Chicago, but right now that would cost us between $700-$800, and we really can't justify that!!! I wish we could, though! It would be so great to have some friends to greet us at the airport, not to mention NOT having a 2+ hour drive to get home once we return!!! We will keep looking...

My wonderful friend and fellow adoptive parent, Shelley, put the video together for us. THANK YOU, SHELLEY! It will be a treasure forever. Here are some of my favorite stills we've received:

These 2 1/2 weeks are going to fly by!!! We have so much to do, and I'm so happy that we do! Here we come, precious little Selah....

While I'm Waiting.

2009-02-01T21:47:00.002-05:00

Well, the time has arrived. By the time we wake up in the morning, court should have taken place. A judge should have decided whether or not we will be able to travel to pick up our little Selah in 2 1/2 weeks or if we will have to wait. Possibly months longer. This song is my prayer tonight.

Caution: due to amount of processing needing to take place, this post may be never-ending!!!

2009-01-22T21:28:00.003-05:00

So, I've been praying lately that God would remove the excess noise in my life. It is my belief that God is more often than not trying to communicate with us, but because of our busy lifestyles, we often miss it. So, I have been praying that God would show me what needs to go. Because of my personality, I definitely error on the side of being too involved. Now, I am not sure if today's events were a specific warning from God (or, more appropriately, him dropping a ton of bricks on my head because I wasn't hearing him well enough) or just happenstance, but I will be writing my "I will no longer be substitute teaching e-mail" tomorrow. The following is why.

Today, I had either crazy and/or incredibly scary things happen to each one of my boys as I subbed for a high school math class at the local high school. I will start with the least scary event first.

Kole, my precious highly-sensitive five-year-old, has pre-K from 8:45-11:15. On Thursdays when I sub, Karl leaves for work late and takes Kole to school and Owen to the sitters, one street over. The first part of the year, Kole's friend's mom (in his class) drove him to the sitter's house for the rest of the day. When a free pre-school opportunity presented itself for Kole's friend, I needed to find different transportation for Kole to the sitters. This has been more challenging than I thought (since the sitters is just 4 minutes from the school), but I finally found a girl at the preschool's dad (whom I carpooled with when our oldest went to pre-K) who also goes to this sitter's to take Kole on Thursdays. We left it several weeks ago that if Kole was there, the dad would just know to take him (since late sub calls make for crazy mornings, I wanted to make sure it was just standard procedure). So, around 11:45 today I get a call from Kole's teacher saying that he hadn't been picked up. Well, I could probably make it during lunch, but wonderful Mrs. C said that Kole would be welcome to come to the afternoon class (it was play in the snow and eat pancakes day) as well and I could just pick him up after school. We also decided that in the future, I would stick a note in Kole's folder on Thursdays when I sub to let the school know to have Kole out and ready for the dad to pick up. Of course, this was embarrassing, but our new solution sounded like a good one. Problem solved.

Problem number two: For the first half of the year (and last year as well) Braden got off the bus and went to the neighbor boy's house on Thursdays. In December, that wonderful family moved away so I needed to come up with a new plan. So, I contacted another helpful neighbor, Holly, whose kids ride the bus and asked if Braden could come over there as standard procedure on Thursdays (again, to avoid early morning chaos on the mornings I sub). She said it was fine. Well, two weeks ago her son told Karl that Braden couldn't come over, so Karl called me at school and told me Braden couldn't come over there (never mentioning it was the 7 year old learning disabled boy who had told Braden this, not a parent phone call) and so I scrambled around to make other arrangements for Braden to come to the babysitters. When I arrived at the sitters, Braden was not there. Come to find out, the bus driver had only partially listened to the message the transportation department had left (I guess??!!??) and had dropped him off at the neighbor's house anyway. Luckily, the neighbor boy had been wrong and his mom was planning on Braden, but of course, I was calling the bus station wondering where in the world my son was in a panic. SOOOOO, fast forward to today. I wrote another note today reiterating that Braden would be getting off the bus at this same neighbor's house and if there was a problem, to call me. Well, because of the incident with Kole's pre-K, I was able to come home a little early and was home for Braden's bus. However, because of problem number three (soon to be disclosed) I had stopped off at Amy's (another neighbor's house where we all regularly frequent). I thought to myself, I could stand out and flag the bus down (our neighborhood is very small, consisting of two cul-de-sacs and I was just across the street from our house) but because of two week's ago, and the bus driver's tendency to be borderline unkind/rude to Braden, I'd just call Holly's and ask her to send Braden down to Amy's right away. So, as Braden was waiting for the bus to pass (it turns around in the cul-de-sac) on his way to Amy's, the driver stopped and asked him, “What’s wrong now?” Braden answered, “Holly told me to go over to Amy’s and my mom’s over there.” The bus driver then made Braden get on the bus. Braden saw our van in Amy’s driveway, but the bus driver called the school and instead of checking at the house, where Braden was told to go, took him back to his elementary school.

In the meantime, I didn’t understand why it was taking Braden so long to get to Amy’s (4 houses down the street), so I called over to Holly’s when we didn’t see Braden coming. She said that she had given him the message to go and sent him on his way. I rushed home (across the street) thinking that maybe he had gotten in the house (although I didn’t know why/how) and, when he wasn’t there, listened to the answering machine hoping for some explanation. Amy started rushing around the neighborhood screaming Braden’s name. At this point, I called 911 to report a missing child since there wasn’t any message on my machine. As I was giving details about Braden, Holly called the school and found out that Braden had been taken there. After the fact, I realized there had been a phone call made to my cell phone from Cleveland at 3:09, but this was, in my opinion, well after Braden had gotten off the bus.

When I got to the school, my fairly unemotional seven-year-old son, Braden, was sitting all alone with tears in his eyes. We talked and I hugged him saying how worried I was and how I had called 911 and he told me the story. When I asked him (later) why he had tears in his eyes, he said it was because Zita (the bus driver) had "gotten after him." You can bet I've already written a letter of complaint about this incident.

Now, you think this is bad? Wait til you hear problem number three. Mind you, this all happened TODAY!!!! As I pulled into my neighborhood from picking up Kole (about 15 minutes before the Braden incident), I called the sitter to see if Owen was still down for his nap and if I should wait a little to pick him up. She responded with a terrifying story about how Owen had snuck out of her house during naptime and my neighbor found him (one street over) and now had him. At this time, Amy is flagging me down. The sitter, of course, is in a panic and so apologetic, but at this point I don't really understand what happened (except I figured Owen went in the woods in between our neighborhoods and went to Amy's. This, by the way, would have still been a good 15-20 minute walk, I would guess, for a three year old.) Well, when I get to Amy's I'm able to put the rest of the story together:

Owen did indeed sneak out of the sitter's house during naptime with his boots on and only a thin long-sleeved shirt and pants. (Keep in mind, there is a creek in the sitter's backyard and a retention pond in our neighbor's yard. That's just an added bonus of what might have been.) Next, he doesn't go through the woods, he starts walking down the long, curvy street towards the main road. When he gets to the main road, he turns left along the road heading to our house ("to watch tv"). About halfway in between the sitter's street and mine, a lady must see this little child walking and stops to find out what in the world is going on. About this same time my neighbor Donna, who is late taking her daughter to school, looks down the road and thinks she sees Owen and me. As she looks, though, she realizes that it's not me. She quickly goes over and explains she's not the mom but a neighbor. Then, she goes to Amy's (who knows much of what is going on in our lives) to try to understand what's happening. Amy explains that I was subbing today and Owen was at the sitters. So, they go to the sitter's so she's not completely panic stricken. As I understand it, since Owen was supposed to be taking his nap, SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE WAS MISSING!!!

I don't even know what to do with all of this information. Obviously, I will no longer be subbing. My children may never have a babsitter again. BTW, at supper tonight, I asked Owen if cars were passing him on the busy road. He smiled and said something like, "Yeah! It was funny! When they went by my hair was like this (making it stand straight up)"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you even imagine?!? I can't even get control of my emotions. I think I'm still in a complete state of shock. Karl hasn't even come home yet (it's 10 p.m.) and I haven't called him. I don't even know what to say. I've been in a semi-zombie-like state all evening, only coming out of it to cuddle/play with the boys. I may need a counselor. We may ALL need a counselor. Great timing, huh? Right before we bring another precious child into our home. I can't make much sense of all this happening today--except that, possibly, God is saying, "Too much, Danielle. You have too much going on. Remember that noise you were asking about? Subbing, in this season at least, is noise." It's hard not to blame myself for much of this, even though I know it's not totally my fault. I still can't help but think, "If only I was one of those REALLY careful moms, none of this would have happened." I know in my mind that's at least somewhat silly, but still I go there.

Okay, God, you definitely got my attention. Thank you for protecting my children today, even when I couldn't. I love you.

A big brother's wish

2009-01-22T21:24:00.004-05:00

These Christmas wishes came home in 7 year old Braden's school stuff this week and I just had to post them. He is such a good big brother! I am feeling even more sentimental after today's events, which I will post on shortly.

Much to report

2009-01-20T23:50:00.002-05:00

It seems, as of late, the adoption roller coaster has been moving along at break-neck speed in some ways, and is still just slowly clicking up the hill in others. Nonetheless, there is much to report in the adoption world.

First, we got our second update on Selah today. She's doing so well! I can't put specifics, but at her referral, she was off the standards chart of the World Health Organization for weight. At her next month update, she jumped onto the chart, and now she's another notch closer to average. Praise the Lord. Also, praise the Lord that the report says, "She has been very healthy!" It also said "G sleeps well. She likes to be held to go to sleep. She started making single sounds. She also started to roll over. G is sweet and smiley." Now that kind of report just warms a mommy's heart. Well, I'm not sure about the liking to be held to go to sleep. Just kidding. What baby doesn't like being held to go to sleep. I just cringe thinking about that time in the future when that precious habit may need to be broken. We shall see. I guess just because I did things a certain way for the boys doesn't mean it has to be exactly the same for baby girl :) She is the baby of the family after all :)

Other personal news: we have a consultation appointment with Dr. Glen Davis on January 30 to discuss Selah and all that we know about her and what she's going to need upon her arrival. I'm hoping he will prescribe some anti-fungal medication (or tell me what to get over the counter) since she seems to have a funky fungus going on in her face and it's getting worse, from what we can see. I'm so excited about Dr. Davis for a myriad of different reasons. First, he was our very first pediatrician with Braden but moved away. We really liked him then (for Karl, it may have had a lot to do with him going to Universiy of Michigan's medical school!) and were sad to see him go, so it's great that he's back in the area. Also, several of our friends that have adopted from Africa have Dr. Davis as their pediatrician and rave about him. He really goes over and above the call of duty to help diagnose unique situations. Also, he's African-American which, as Selah gets older (and for the boys as well) is just a real plus in our neck of the world where "peach skin" (as Owen calls it) still is a very clear majority. I'm so thankful that the world continues to progress in areas of race, but I would be naive to say there aren't still very real issues with racism (and other isms, for that matter) and so, to have an amazing doctor and the President of the United States both be African-American feels like two great opportunities for our daughter to see that color of skin does not need to have a negative impact on her dreams.

We also just received in the mail our re-fingerprinting appointment date for January 29 and Selah's adorable bedding came in the mail today from target.com. I really thought I'd do pottery barn this time around, but for the expense, I didn't absolutely fall in love with any of their current styles--and that was combing the newest magazines, their online store, AND ebay! So, this adorable brown and pink target pattern (on clearance!) will be perfect. My sis-in-law, Erica, the design star, is going to help me with it while she looks for a great job in Chicago. I am so lucky!!!!!

Other than that, I would ask that you continue to keep families adopting from Ethiopia in your prayers, as well as the children waiting for them across the sea and the government officials (MOWA representatives, judges, etc.) involved with international adoption. We got sad news today from the Semlows and Kulps regarding more failed court dates because of complications concerning the orphanage their children came from. It's just devastating for these families. And the Forrest family also got bad news recently about one of their children not passing court...and more complications in the works. The Ethiopian courts seem to be getting more and more strict and while this may be important to ensure that everything is above board, it is also indescribably hard for those families back here who long for their children, have already waited a very long time, and can't imagine having to wait even longer.

Thanks for rejoicing with those who rejoice and mourning with those who mourn. Hopefully, we'll all be rejoicing together in less than 2 weeks now, but regardless, God is in control......

AND HE IS GOOD.

Come and Listen

2009-01-14T23:16:00.007-05:00

God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good.

Tentative Travel Dates

2009-01-10T21:08:00.003-05:00

After I subbed on Thursday, Karl announced at the dinner table that we received our tentative travel dates. If we pass court on February 2, we will be traveling to pick up Selah February 21-28!!!!!!!!!!! Now, my time is spent scouring the yahoo group and BTDT blogs for traveling information, looking into airline tickets, scheduling our final shots with the health department, writing USCIS for refingerprinting (ours expire March 5, and that's just cutting it way too close--even if we do pass court the first time), faxing America World new forms and passport copies. Whew! But even though it makes days full, it feels so wonderful to be doing this knowing that it means we could be only 6 weeks away from meeting our baby girl! If we all pass court (which would be a miracle since 30% don't on the first try), the Blacks will be traveling with the Howleys, Chans, Martins, and Renos. We are filled with guarded excitement (okay, I'm really struggling to be guarded, but still) about the possibility of meeting my parents/our three boys at the airport on Mom's birthday with the newest beautiful addition to our family. KEEP PRAYING!!!! Thank you so much!!!!

Here's a short picture chronicle of our almost disastrous (Kole's high sensitivity doesn't do snow pants/gloves/scarves/etc. very well and Owen got cold too easy) turned somewhat fun first ever trip to the tubing hill from today (Karl and Owen are already warming up in the van):

Some December Pictures and Thoughts

2008-12-28T21:47:00.004-05:00

I haven't posted pictures in way too long, so I thought I'd remedy that with some highlights from December. They are celebrating Christmas with the Riegseckers (my Mom's maiden name) with Grandma reading The Little Matchgirl to some of the "greats" as they call them, celebrating with the Lugbills (at night and the next morning), Gingerbread houses with our wonderful and silly neighbor Amy, and Kole's Christmas program for Salem Pre-K. Mrs. C has been both Braden and Kole's teacher and I can't imagine a more incredible person to teach my boys. I can't wait for Owen and Selah to have her too, Lord willing! We have just bought a new camera to replace our REALLY nice old one (we needed some money-go figure!-and were ready, for a season, to have a smaller point and shoot camera), but it's hard to get used to. There were many more "duds" to go through, so we're going to have to get better!

With my family going to Brazil/Paraguay, we were at our house for the first time in our married life on Christmas morning. It was a little lonely for me, but still good. Karl's mom, Pat, was with us for the week, so that was nice and Karl's brother and their family came down from Wheaton, IL Christmas evening for two days, which was also a treat. My family skyped the same evening, and even though it made me more lonely, it was good to see and hear them for some time on Christmas. The kids had already opened their stockings and we don't do nearly as many presents as Grandma and Grandad, but it was still special and just nice to be together. And it still felt like Christmas, just different then the traditional.

Of course, I also thought a lot about Selah. I listened to Third Day sing "Merry Christmas" (I bought it on itunes, actually!) about their adoption experience, and found myself wishing so badly she was here. We have gotten updates on her progress, and she's doing so well! She's growing great and her pictures are precious. The Burk family, who was just in Ethiopia picking up their precious son, sent me my new favorite photo of Selah. She's looking so big! I can hardly stand it. They said she's easy to get a smile out of, which warms a mother's heart, but we had only seen it once in a picture, so of course I was thrilled to see a second smile. I find myself battling between being so happy that she's growing, and wanting her to stay small so we can experience first hand her growth. Of course, I know I should just be 100% thankful, but it's so hard--something I don't even know how to verbalize completely--to know that your baby girl is so far away and experiencing so much without you! I find myself thinking, "I have no idea how I'm going to make it for another month until court!" And I don't even want to go there if we don't pass court. Ahhh! I know with everything in me that God will continue to sustain us no matter how hard and long our wait is (and I also know, comparatively, how incredibly short our wait has been), but it's like trying to anticipate tragedy before it strikes and realizing you could never handle it....and then it does and there is grace and strength for the moment. Do you understand the parallel I'm making? I know God will be faithful, I just can't think about the wait now or I literally think I start to go crazy!!! I really need God's grace to focus on the here and now and not wish away the next month or two (or three or four).

We have another full week trying to visit with out of town friends and family and enjoy our last week of no school. We are so blessed by all the people in our lives. Thank you for the part each of you play. If Selah was here, I think I would have actually sent out a Christmas card (gasp!), but right now I'm really hoping for an Easter card. Can you do that? I hope so! Merry Christmas, everyone, and Happy New Year!

Court date news!

2008-12-21T23:48:00.006-05:00

We just got back from a wonderful Christmas weekend at Mom and Dad's and Grandma and Grandad's in Ohio. It was a little different this year with the Lugbill clan (my maiden name) taking off today for two weeks in Brazil/Paraguay minus the Black clan, but it was still really special, it's just I keep thinking Christmas has already passed and it's still 5 days away!

We came back with an unexpected e-mail from Terra Bailey, our new family coordinator since Duni moved back to Ethiopia. Here's an excerpt from it:

"I am writing you today to inform you of a change in America World's process regarding communication of court and travel dates. AmericaWorld will now share with families their issued court dates at the time they are confirmed. Please note the following concerning court dates:

Roughly 30% of families do not pass court on their first issued court date.
If a family does not pass court initially, court dates are then issued approximately 1-2 months after the original court date.
Families can expect communication from America World roughly 24-48 hours after their court date. It is our desire to contact families with the news of court as quickly as possible. America World will have no additional information to offer families until we receive confirmation from Ethiopia. Unless an urgent issue arises, we request that families refrain from contacting us regarding updates on court.Please rest assured that we will be contacting you as soon as we have any news."

Our court date is scheduled for February 2, 2009!!! If we pass, we would then expect to travel 2.5 to 4 weeks later. We should get specific tentative travel dates (was that an oxymoron?)within the next two weeks, and I'll be sure to let you know. Mark your calenders and please pray! Pray however you feel led. God knows what He's doing, but I sure hope it's in His plan for us to pass the first time; however, we have had so many friends not that we are not going into this with our eyes closed. We just want to get Selah home asap!!! Her little stash of clothes and other goodies (Mom and Dad just bought her a precious doll for Christmas!) is quickly growing...now we just need HER. I'm getting SO ready with each passing day. I just put an 8x10 up of her on one side of the fireplace mantle with the boys' framed pic on the other side. I will leave you with the verses I'm going to be repeating over and over again in the next 6 weeks:

"Do not worry about anything, but in everything, with prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:6-7

Red Letters campaign- Adoption Journal

Hope Lives: Week 3

2008-12-15T14:27:00.004-05:00

First, I had to start this blog off by saying my sister's beau is absolutely hilarious. If you all recall the modeling fiasco that took place several months ago, this will make more sense. As if all the publicity my stunt got wasn't enough, I guess Eric thought maybe I would like to see the ULTIMATE publicity--a billboard. You're great, Eric. Thanks for making me laugh once again. The only thing this has to do with our Hope Lives book study, though, is perhaps that more people should spend their money on helping the poor and less on gambling. That's the best I can do....

Week three is entitled "Understanding Poverty." The beginning focuses on "For Such a Time as This"--that famous verse from Esther and how she was put exactly where she was supposed to be to save her people. We have been placed--most of us, that is--in the wealthiest country in the world. We have opportunities galore, at all different levels. Why? Ephesians 2:10 says, "We are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Think about all we can do here in America!!! And then there's the infamous, "To whom much is given, much will be demanded." (Luke 12:48) So, first questions:

(1a).What good works do you think God may have prepared for you to do? I know that for me, Africa is part of the equation. Months ago (well, years ago, but it just clicked within the past year) God made it clear that for me to experience more of God, there would be involvement (in some way) with Africa. The problem is, I don't know what. I looked into helping out Africans formerly (in a hands on way) in the area, and didn't find anything through World Vision or as I googled, but I know there are African families living around here. Our adoption has something to do with these "good works", of course, but I also know it's not the whole picture. There's just so much good to be done, I need wisdom to know where and how and who....without getting so overwhelmed I don't do anything.

Bono has a great quote: "God is in the slums, in the cardboard boxes where the poor play house. God is in the silence of a mother who has infected her child with a virus that will end both their lives. God is in the cries heard under the rubble of war. God is in the debris of wasted opportunity and lives, and God is with us if we are with them."

Amber VanSchooneveld talks about the causes of poverty:

Natural disasters
Environmental changes (natural and man-made)
Wars
Ethnic hostilities and racism
International trade law and tariff structures
Government corruption
International debt
Social and personal sin
Social injustice
A lack of education and opportunity

She then talks about something Wes Stafford has coined the Poverty Wheel which helps us to focus on the whole person. "In the center of the wheel, the hub, there is absolute poverty. The outer rim represents enough. The opposite of poverty isn't wealth--it's enough. Enough food to live, enough shelter to remain safe and dry, enough opportunity to become a self-sustaining member of society, enough dignity to be the person God created you to be. The six spokes of the wheel represent the various areas of life that must be intact for "enough" to occur. The spokes are economic, educational, health, environmental, social, and spiritual. As with an actual wheel, each spoke is necessary for the stability of the whole. When one spoke is week, it has an impact on all the others." (92). That's why person-focused and holisitc help is what's essential.

Because it's so easy to be overwhelmed by statistics, the next day is focused on specific children and people who grew up in poverty and have overcome/are overcoming the cycle. They are individuals, not statistics, and "they are...what hope is about." (100)

There is included an interview with Wes Stafford, who has worked at Compassion International for 30 years, 14 years as president. He is amazing. And so knowledgable, as well as compassionate. He said, "You cannot have a more powerful word to describe the cure for poverty or for empty hearts that should be reaching out to poverty than hope." His stories confirm that this is true in my mind. It is true that the need is so great that it often feels like the little I do wont make a difference, so why should I even do anything?!? Totally a lie, I know, but it is easy to feel this way, nonetheless. Likewise, and yet very differently, if there is no hope for those who are impoverished, there will be no change either. If a child growing up in a city dump believes that no one cares whether she lives or dies, then she will not fight for change. Fight for...anything. But if she starts to realize that she has value, amazing changes can occur. "Stepping out of poverty is learning that I matter. If I matter, what I think matters. This is where beating back poverty happens. When a person realizes what they think matters, they gain confidence. They say, 'Let me tell you what I think'...eventually, they'll say, 'You see this over here? This is wrong, and I'm going to fix that.' When a child goes from "I don't matter" to "I can fix that," you've just won the war on poverty." (104)

Lastly, the last day focuses on "The Greatest Poverty"-the poverty of the soul. Amber says, "I am in the greatest poverty....when I eat my fill and lounge on my couch, while thinking only fleetingly of others not as materially blessed as I have been. My poverty is real when my love is deadened, medicated, frozen by too much. And my soul is maybe in even more danger than those in the poverty of too little." (109). Also on this page, Mother Theresa, one who saw wretched poverty, had this opinion about the worst poverty: "to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish." Oh my goodness. How do you deal with that?!? That is me, Lord. Children die that I could have a hand in saving if I wasn't so careless about our food budget, or are clothing budget, or our entertainment budget, or, or, OR. And yet, once again, I find myself saying, "But what, Lord?" What would you have me do? What would you have my family do?!?" I still don't have the answers and I still feel so burdened knowing that we're not doing it right. I really need your help, Lord. I want to be obedient, no matter the cost.

So, I already posed one question, but other questions for the week include these:

How has your concept of poverty been challenged?
Do the people in poverty seem real to you, like flesh and blood? Write about your perceptions, and perhaps misconceptions, about those in poverty.
How do you think hope relates to poverty? Do you have hope for those in poverty and your part in reaching out? Why or why not?
Do you agree that poverty is a spiritual issue? Do you believe you are involved in a spiritual battle yourself? In what ways?
How has your perspective on poverty changed this week?
Thanks for hanging in there with me for those that have been waiting for this. I have really been struggling with this issue for about a week. I have a friend that was teasing me and made some comment about "Poverty this, Poverty that. Danielle, do you talk about anything else?" Now, he was totally teasing me as he has a big heart for social justice and the poor as well, but it really bothered me for a totally different reason. I think I'm pretty much all talk. Huge confession, I know, but it's true. I mean, besides our adoption, I do SO LITTLE for the poor. We sponsor a child. We, VERY rarely, donate our time to the homeless shelter. We give financially in other ways. But we truly do SO LITTLE...and yet I, at some level, project that there's more going on. In my mind, yes. But faith is about ACTION, too!!! Anyway, those are some of my struggles right now. I would love feedback.

Red Letters campaign- Adoption Journal

We are here! We are here! We are here! We are here!

2008-12-14T20:37:00.004-05:00

When I was thinking of how to start this blog, the above repetitive phrase from Horton Hears a Who seemed quite appropriate. Life has just felt overwhelming as of late. Not in a about-to-have-a-nervous-breakdown sort of way, just in a can't-keep-up-and-not-feeling-overly-motivated-to-try kind of way. Thus, the silence.

But tonight I am sitting in front of a softly glowing fire, enjoying the solitude and my spinach pomegranate salad. In this moment, life is good, life is quiet, and there's no where else I'd rather be (except, perhaps, Ethiopia picking up a special someone).

Mmmmm!!!! I love this salad!!!! I wish I could share it with you faithful readers...wait. That was a lie. I'm glad no one else is here so I can gobble every last piece of it up. By the way, did you know pomegranates are only available here November through January? So, the obsession is very short lived and you have to grab all the gusto while you have the chance. As one of my boys recently said, "My mom's crazy about pomegranates."

The phone is ringing and there is almost nothing that will make me move from my spot right now and answer it....even when it's my mother-in-law (sorry, Mom :) )

Okay, enough tangents and on to the good stuff. First, an update on Miss Selah. We have gotten TONS of great pics from recent traveling families. We have compiled a "short" photo album that I carry with me, and a much larger album where I keep every pic we've ever received (even if just part of her head happens to be in the corner of someone else's baby shot or the photo is so blurry you can barely make her out!) In that album, I think I have about 30 pictures. It's so wonderful! Oh, you guys! She's incredible. I cannot WAIT to meet her. Hutchinsons delivered her first care package two weeks ago where we crammed an outfit, a stuffed giraffe, a blanket, and our family photo album (the great cloth kind babies can chew on and treat really rough) into a gallon ziploc. On December 21, another group of five families leaves to meet their little dears, and on December 27, the Tennants will be leaving to pick up their son and will be taking Selah her second care package. This one is more practical: a pants outfit, an adorable little dress with the bloomers from baby Gap (on clearance for $9.99!), a shirt that says something about loving lots of kisses, an age-appropriate little toy, and a Christmas ornament I had made for one of her nannies with her being held. Hopefully, this will be easier to cram in. There are three other families also hoping to travel December 27th (although two of these families have not passed court yet), and then the next tentative travel group with four families is scheduled to leave January 17. According to the YG list, we are 7th on the list of families waiting for tentative travel dates after the January 17 group. We are really, really, REALLY hoping to travel in February, although we know that nothing is certain. To put it in perspective for you non-adoptive readers, of those ten families who were most recently trying to pass court, four of them did not for various reasons. It is very possible this could also happen to us. Court days are filled with mixed emotions for those of us watching: extreme joy for those families who now "officially" have a son or daughter and extreme sadness for those families who are told something wasn't right, they will need to wait yet again. I think this past court was especially emotional for me for three reasons: 1. Many of the families that I have followed most closely because of their dates being so close/the same as ours did and didn't pass. 2. The Joners, who have been through so much after losing their precious referred daughter, Julia, in August to pneumonia, failed to pass court. Fortunately, they will not have to wait as long to go before court again and may still be traveling December 27th along with the Savages and Tennants. 3. In my mind, the results of these court dates directly impacts our future travel dates.

As November 19 was the day of our referral, I'm really hoping for an official update from America World sometime in the next couple of weeks. Selah was very small at the time of our referral (although "moderate" by Ethiopian standards) and I am hoping to see she's gained weight as they are very scheduled about the babies feeding times, even waking them in the night from what I've heard. We are supposed to get updates every month with new weights/heights/etc., but according to families in front of us, this is not a guarantee. That's why these pics from other adoptive families are such a lifeline. My friend Shelley commented that she only had one (I think!) picture of each of her adopted boys when they were in Africa and how her one son would just love some pics now. I feel very blessed for the commitment of these other families to painstakingly photograph all of our kids at the Transition Home. THANK YOU GUYS!!!!!

So, how is that for updated info after almost a month of silence? I guess I had more to say than I thought. Speaking of that, tomorrow (I promise. Really.) I will post week three comments/questions of the Hope Lives study I was so passionate about. I think I'll do most of it tonight, but I don't want to overwhelm and thus make people miss all the good info in this post because of the other one, so I thought I'd wait a day. Grace and peace to you.

Red Letters campaign- Adoption Journal

God is Good. All the Time.

2008-11-23T16:52:00.007-05:00

Hey everybody! Whew! What a wonderful whirlwind this week has ween...oops, I mean been :) I don't even know where to start! I think I've looked at our daughter a thousand times since Wednesday. She is so beautiful! I can't wait to show her off to all of you :) Thank you SO MUCH to all of you who have been so excited for us. The day we found out, my neighbor Amy brought over a balloon bouquet (pink...I love it!!!) and Carrie, with her own three African princes and princess, brought over pink cookies. I have been so blessed with the e-mails and blog comments. I would love to print them all off in a book for our daughter one day. We will see if that just is a good thought, or if it will actually come to fruition. I am very good at good thoughts :) Speaking of that, I think I made a promise I need to make good on--our daughter's name. Well, because she is not officially our daughter until we pass court, I cannot tell you here Ethiopian name, but I will tell you the other. As far as we know, unless we change our mind in the next several months, our daughter will be Selah Joy [Ethiopian name] Black. Isn't it perfect? You can tell us if you agree, if not, just do what your mom taught you and, well, you know :) The reason we selected two middle names is because we want her to have her Ethiopian name, and we wanted her to have our family tradition of biblical "J" middle names as well. Since Jezebel wasn't the nicest character in the Bible and Jael is a little too gory, we thought Joy was perfect. May our new daughter mark a transition in our family's life, filled with joy and closeness with our Savior. We can't wait for her to join us!!!

Speaking of joy....we had two HUGE blessings today. First, traveling families got home yesterday and two have already promised pictures of referred babies/children within the day. I can't tell you how many times I've already checked the computer since I read that. Second, we got a blessing that just about knocked our socks off.

Last night we got a text from the lead pastor at Crossroads asking for our remaining adoption expenses. Then, at church this morning, he had Karl get up and speak about our little one (I wish I could have shown pictures!) and what the plan was for the next couple of months. Pastor Marc went on to ask for the congregation's financial help and pledged $1000.00 from his publishing company personally. He said very eloquently that we cannot save the continent of Africa, but we can save this one child. Because of his generosity and desire to help, and the generosity of our church family, we are now $4000+ closer to having the adoption paid for!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!! When Karl and I started this journey, we thought we would be repaying the bank for several years. Now, that will not be the case. Again, PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

Thank you to all of you who have given so generously to us. In monetary ways, as well as with your prayers and words of encouragement and time and in other ways....we are blown away by the goodness of God shown through His people! We are also pumped because this giving to us personally will also allow us to give more generously to the Transition Home where referred America World children/babies go as well as the orphanages that America World helps support. Because of the worldwide food crisis, Ethiopia is in dire straits, and the orphanages and Transition Home are also having a shortage of essential items. We plan on filling two tubs full of donations, much of which will be formula, vitamins, and other requested items. We will keep you posted on this as the time grows closer.

Again, thanks for everything! I will try to get back to posting the "Hope Lives" study tomorrow and we'll just be a week behind. I'm sure you all understand a little lapse in the plan :)

Red Letters campaign- Adoption Journal

TODAY IS THE DAY!!!

2008-11-19T17:32:00.002-05:00

Today at 11:10 we got our call from Duni with the news of our baby girl. I was walking out the door to pick up Kole from pre-K and almost didn't get the phone.

"Hello"
"Danielle, this is Duni. Congratulations. Today is the day!"

Duni went on to tell me her age and name and a few other details. After trying to work around a meeting with Karl, I hopped in the car with Owen and Brenna (the little girl I babysit twice a week) and went to get Kole. He was in shock when he stepped into the van and I told him. He kept saying, "No you didn't. No, mom, you DIDN'T. MOM, You didn't get the referral." I wasn't sure about his reaction so I asked him about it to which he responded, "I just wasn't ready. I didn't know it was coming today!" I think after SO many months of waiting, it just felt so unreal that today was actually the day!!!

Well, I got almost to Crossroads (app. 25 minutes away) and realized I needed to have Braden to share the family moment, so I turned around and went 20 minutes back to his school. Then, he had just gone out for recess, so we had to go find him there. Then, he didn't want to come until after recess (Does anyone see how much of the real world this is?!? I don't know why I always build scenarios up in my mind :)) So, FINALLY, we headed to Karl at around 12:15. After a stop through McDonalds drive-through, we got to the church. It then took about 15 minutes to figure out how to rig the video camera. FINALLY, at 1:30 (I'm not kidding you!!!!) all five of us sat down at Karl's computer. First, Owen accidently hit Braden in the face (Owen was reaching for the computer and I went to bat his hand away and it hit Braden would be the more accurate description). Braden starts bawling. Then, after we try to deal with this, I start to read the e-mail and just as I'm starting to click for the picture something happens and the ENTIRE E-MAIL disappears. No joke. We can't find it anywhere. We even went to Karl's e-mail to see if there was another copy sent to him. Nope. We search awhile longer and find it was mysteriously taken to another folder. Now it is about 1:40.

@ app. 2 hours and 30 minutes after getting the call, we see our little girl for the first time. She is so precious. She is so tiny. She is our little gift from God. We can't wait to let everyone meet her. Thank you for your prayers.

People always ask, "What now?" America World tells you to expect 6-8 weeks at this point for travel. This will happen if you pass court in Ethiopia the first time. This is a huge if. Many families do not, and there's a myriad of reasons from paperwork not being right to paperwork not being where it needs to be to someone taking a day off work. Who knows? If we don't pass the first time, usually you're scheduled for a new court date a month later. And then a month after that...and so on and so forth. But, we will be praying for a smooth process. Everything has been so smooth so far and we feel incredibly blessed. Please pray with us that we can bring this little one home in January. That is our heart's desire. As Kole said, "I wish we could just go get her today!!!"

Rejoicing......

Hope Lives...Week 2

2008-11-09T20:29:00.005-05:00

So, it looks like everyone's life is like mine and we'll only be doing a once a week study. I mean, I'm really, really, REALLY hoping that all of us will be doing it more than once a week, but I'll only put a summary and questions on my blog once a week. Having said that, MAN! I wish I could write more about week one because all the stuff about "It's All About Me" and "I'm barely gettin' by" and "Dreadfully Busy" and the other lies we believe...GOOD STUFF!!! PLEASE read it...and take the time to reflect--if not on my site, in your own private time or with someone you love. Another change: I think instead of writing a summary, I'm just going to record quotes that moved me. She says things so well (as does the Bible!) and I would love to simply quote them verbatim and may add personal comments in italics under specific questions.

In week two, which is entitled "God is Not Silent" Amber looks at what the Bible has to say about our responsibility to the poor, the widows, and the orphans. Here are some quotes from the week that really spoke to me.

[Talking about gleaning and tithing/Day 7] "But could this law of gleaning on top of tithing mean intentionally leaving aside a certain amount of my 'crop' for those in need, even if my taxes and tithe are already supporting social welfare? I'm challenged to think that taking care of those in need isn't just a government or church concern, by also my personal concern" (56).

"If there is a poor man amoung [you]...do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brother. Rather be openhanded and freely lend him whatever he needs...Give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart...Be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land" (Deuteronomy 15:7-11)

"'The plunder from the poor is in your houses. What do you mean by crushing my people and grinding the faces of the poor?' declares the Lord, the Lord Almighty." (Isaiah 3:14)...God condemns those who 'grind the face of the poor.' In the next sentence, he condemns the women of Zion for their luxurious lifestyles, assumedly made possible by the oppression of the poor. It's very possible that the women of Zion knew little or nothing about the conditions of the workers who enabled their finery. They weren't in the fields. They were simply enjoying their wealth, probably without giving much thought to the workers--even if they knew just a little bit. But these women were condemned outright."!!! (59)

"But I do have to question whether God implicates me in the oppression of workers when I purposely buy cheaper products from companies I know are exploiting the poor rather than buying those goods from companies that ensure fair payment of workers. The passage in Isaiah convinces me that God has a high standard for the choices I make, and I need to buy with my eyes open wide." (59)

"I want my motivation to be compassion and love, not a desire to do something big." (62)

"Helping those in need is central to following Christ. It is who he is, and therefore, who I am. To know God is irrevocably woven into loving others, and I'll never know God in his fullness without extending that kind of love. I know a man who is dedicated to serving the poor. I asked him why he does it, and he said, 'Serving the poor, I grow closer to God and see Jesus more clearly. It helps me see Jesus because I'm doing what he would be doing if he were there. I go about life in pretty routine ways--get up, eat, go to work--and think about Jesus from time to time. But when I'm working with the poor, Jesus is front and center in my mind. It's like I sense him to be more real and more close during those times. It slows you down. It catches you and makes you think about why you're doing what you're doing." (64)

"When we're filled with the love of Christ, God will compel us each in a different way. The essential for me is to seek God, asking that I'll be filled with his love for the church. Then, I can ask him what exactly he wants me to do." (69)

Questions:

1. Spend time reflecting on what you treasure. What have you mistakenly treasured, and what would you like to treasure?

2. What was the most challenging truth you struggled through this week?

The idea of being implicated by what and where I buy REALLY impacted me. Just like the women of Zion, I have cared more about what is affordable to me, then the circumstances that made them that way. I had an epiphany, I believe, during this time that if something is unaffordable to me in order to buy it more "fairly," then I shouldn't buy it at all! I used to have the attitude that if I could buy something by going to certain stores, etc. then, by all means, I should get it! I don't think that's true anymore. I'm still trying to work this out, but I know I can't ignore it anymore...at least not if I want to continue growing and hearing from the Lord with the same/more openness. I am thinking of this a lot lately with fair trade (right now, coffee specifically.)

3. What can you do each day to ensure that you're viewing people in this world through Christ's eyes?

4. Learning about the social justice the Old Testament prescribes, do you see any injustice around you that you think God is calling you to speak out against?

5. Based on Isaiah 3:14-24, I John 3:17, and/or II Corinthians 8, is there an action or change you feel convicted to make?

(specifically fm. I John passage) I just don't feel like I interact enough with the poor--with others. And yet I am so busy. I need to use my wit and joy to build others--no matter who they are--up as I interact with them, instead of tearing them down. I need to more relational and less task. I need to see everyday as a time to serve--my kids, friends, neighbors, husband, people I meet on the street. Jesus, please, I desperately need to be more about You and less about me. Open the eyes of my heart...and change me where I need it.

6. Is there someone in your life to whom you feel God calling you to be Christ?

yes.

Red Letters campaign- Adoption Journal

Hope begins-Week 1.1

2008-11-03T22:12:00.003-05:00

I guess since it's still Monday, November 3 I can say I made my promise about starting the book study today. We won't think about the fact that it's after 10 and some of you more responsible types are already in bed :) Let me preface this by saying I am always open to suggestions, and things may change as we go. I've been a part of book studies/clubs and even led them, but I've never been part of one via someone's blog, so I feel a little baffled by it. My plan is to do summarize/reflect/quote three times a week throughout the course of the five week study and then include questions that people can answer in the comments area. Feel free to comment on comments and let follow-up conversation happen there. Also, answer one or all or...whatever you want! That sounds like a good place to start, yeah?

"Hope Lives" challenges us as Christians to focus on becoming what God is calling us to be. This book demands that you interrupt your busy life and embark on a spiritual journey to know the poor through God's eyes, through his words...It is my greatest desire that this book will help you develop a deeper relationship with God and, in doing so, ignite a natural response and a passion to serve the poor as God directs" (Wes Stafford in the Foreword 5)

Week One: The Poverty of the Heart

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." -Micah 6:8

We have so much, don't we? No matter where we are today, we are not one of the 1.2 BILLION in the world living in extreme poverty on less than a dollar a day. Just think-if you bought this book, even if it was on amazon or some other such place, you spent potentially the equivalent of three months income for 1.2 billion humans. Doesn't that just blow your mind?!? For a book! For many, life is very hard...."and I don't know how to take it. I want to throw up my hands and accuse God or someone or something" (12). And yet here in America, even with the threat of economic crisis looming, we are experiencing a very different story. Comparatively, "we are thriving...we have more material wealth than any other generation in history....megacorps and megamalls and megachurches. My church buddies and I are thriving, too--we have our many church meetings, our building campaigns, our community outreaches playing Frisbee at the park with Starbucks afterward" (13).

"Is this pleasing to God? Is this his vision of what his world should look like?"

God said to the Israelites in Isaiah 58: "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter--when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Amber asks, "What does God want from me, from his people? What is true fasting, true religion...What if, like the Israelites, my spiritual service is a bit too tidy? a bit too focused on me? What if all this time I've been polishing myself up to exhibit spiritual excellence--like it's some precious jewel--when what God really wanted was something wholly different? Not to stay home perfecting myself, but to go out into the world" (16).

Questions

*You may also answer any of the questions throughout the summary/quotes.

1. What about Isaiah 58 challenges you?

2. Why are you reading this book? What interests you about it? What are you hoping for?

3. What do you believe God wants from you at this moment in time?

I'm excited!!! Thanks for doing this with me!

Red Letters campaign-Adoption Journal

Happy (!?!?) Nine Months of Waiting!

2008-11-01T22:02:00.006-04:00

Happy nine months of waiting to us.

Happy nine months of waiting to u-us.

Happy nine months of waiting to us.

We're still hanging in there. Good post from my friend Karen on how things are going :) We do have a huge praise. Our homestudy officially expired Thursday and we thought we were going to have to pay $750.00 to get it renewed plus new paperwork, new doctor's appointments...you get the point. I was so bummed and overwhelmed thinking of doing it again! But then I got an amazing little e-mail from our social worker saying that the State of Indiana doesn't really concern itself with International adoptions as far as homestudy updates, so as long as we have our little girl by June when our USCIS paperwork expires, then we won't have to get a homestudy renewal!!!! Praise the Lord! Seriously. Thank you, Jesus!!!!

BTW: the Hope Lives book study will begin on my blog in two days. Not sure yet how it's going to work, but I'm excited to be going through such an amazing book together with some of you! It's not too late to buy the book (unless you don't believe in shopping on Sunday. Then, it actually is too late, but just go get the book on Monday. No one will even know :) )

Okay, must get my beauty sleep. The time changes during the night and when I wake up I'm going to be a year older...beauty sleep is becoming more and more of a priority :)

Red Letters Campaign-Adoption Journals

The roller coaster adoption ride

2008-10-28T22:53:00.006-04:00

I know some of you have been waiting patiently while I work up the drive to post again. A lot has been going on just, unfortunately, nothing having to do with our adoption. Let me reword that: Nothing good (from our earthly perspective) has been going on with our adoption. We found out, sadly, that the baby girl we were hoping might one day be ours will not be. This means that the transitional home is completely full and no new children will be brought in until, maybe, this week (since five families have just picked up their little ones!) Once new children are brought in, it takes weeks (at least three, I know) to get paperwork processed/tests done for a referral. With nine months looming on Saturday and us still number two on the list, this was sad news at several different levels. I feel sad about it, to be honest. However, I am also renewed in knowing that God is good and His timing is perfect. Nothing could do more to renew this resolve as Theresa Van Wetten's post from Ethiopia today. While so many pieces might not fit together at the end of our journey to our little girl as did with the Van Wettens , I know they do up in God's master puzzle, and I will rest in that tonight.

I feel thrilled for those picking up their children today in Ethiopia and I feel thrilled for the others that passed court. I also feel sad for the Caldwells, who did not pass court. Once again, the roller coaster of adoption.

Speaking of other families, I wanted to let you all know that the Weimer family needs some major help. In three weeks they want to go pick up their newest three family members (after adopting another sibling group of three less than a year ago!) and still need $19,000. If you feel you can help, please go visit their blog and donate. They are amazing and need the body to come together.

Speaking of money, I just found out tonight our homestudy expires in two days. Surprise, surprise, a new cost to get it renewed :) Sorry, that was slightly sadistic, but you know, when it rains, it pours. And God has been so faithful. I really still have no doubt He will provide, just fleshly Danielle could have done without that added cost!

Lastly, I wanted to share with you two pics from an end-of-the-season night on the boat with good friends from church and memories from two weekends ago when my mom and dad took the boys to the Dunes for a weekend of camping. I still haven't gotten this weekend's little excursion to Chicago downloaded! Maybe this weekend I'll get caught up with those! I truly have the best parents on the face of the planet. Enjoy.

To all of you on pins and needles...

2008-10-17T10:18:00.004-04:00

This has not been an easy couple of weeks. Life has been busy so that I'm not just sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring, but at the same time, the constant thoughts of, "Today could be the day! Duni could be calling us at any moment!" start to run you down after awhile. So, today I got some answers that take the edge off. They bring up a wide range of emotions--what's new with adoption?--and I wanted to share them with all of you.

First of all, as I suspected, we're no longer number one in line. This, of course, is because of the loss of Forrest's precious baby girl that died from pneumonia. The World Health Organization states that pneumonia is the single biggest killer of children under the age of five worldwide. And a research study from 2004 states that undernutrition is an underlying cause of childhood deaths associated with illnesses such as pneumonia, malaria, and others. As I talked about after Joner's little Julia died, even though it is painful, I am so thankful to be a part of something that allows me to not be numbed by the statistics of "millions dying in Africa." These precious little girls represent so many others, and yet are deeply personal and individual. Two families (and more!) are grieving intensely for them. We are so sad for Hillary and Jacob and Jessica and Jason, but we are happy as well--that the Joners are now waiting to pick up their two little ones, the Forrests will be at that place very soon, and the rest of us realize that there are more to statistics then numbers .

We also found out from our monthly conference call with America World that there will be a lull with referrals over the next few weeks. The transitional home is at capacity and until families pick up their kiddos, there is no room to bring new little (or big!) ones in. This, of course, means that we will most definitely have to pay the $4000 or so in extra fees. We're planning on this, anyway (although we really don't know how to plan!) People can still give to our Lifesong for Orphans account and we're going to do one last push with our t-shirts and we'll just tackle the rest little by little. I know the Lord will provide in His way! This lull means that we shouldn't expect to hear anything the rest of this month. This is disappointing (obviously!) but it also helps me to know where we're at and not get my hopes up unneccesarily.

And that leads me to the last piece of information. Apparently, having said what I said about nothing happening the rest of the month, here are the notes Karen took from the conference call yesterday regarding two baby girls in the transitional home:

One child was extremely malnourished and she was not able to be referred yet. Another one doesn’t have paperwork ready; we have to assure she’s adoptable (a true orphan).

Do you see why this news makes yesterday an emotional roller coaster? If these children make it through...one of them will be part of our forever family! Of course, there are so many ifs, but it sure gives us reasons to pray fervently and hope. Kole and I had a discussion, specifically, about the malnourished little girl in the orphanage right now. I was telling him about what this could mean--that this little baby could be his little sister--and even if it wasn't, here was a precious baby girl that needs our prayers...and Kole, my precious, sensitive Kole, started getting emotional. We prayed right then and there for this little one that could be ours, but, no matter what, is a child of God and needs people fighting for her. I don't think I will ever forget this moment as I held Kole in my arms and we prayed for a little child around the world.

So, that's a lot to process, isn't it? Thanks for your continued prayers. This weekend is going to be full and wonderful--the boys camping with Grandma and Grandad, Karl and his brother up in Michigan helping his mom move, and me running my first 5K, having dinner and watching a musical with my best friend, dancing and participating in the Feast of Tabernacles celebration at her church...whew! I get excited just thinking about it. And here's something else that got me excited during yesterday's emotional day--look what came in the mail (don't the girl colors look AMAZING?!?):

Praise and Prayer

2008-10-14T09:14:00.004-04:00

Hey everybody. Life here is....complicated. We have some wonderful praises to report--our garage sale was a huge success. We made around $720.00!!! Thanks, largely, to those who donated items. Almost all of our bigger stuff sold, which really helped. A lot of clothes sold, too, but I have TONS more. That's why we're going to do it again in the spring. The only bad news about the garage sale came after the event when I dropped a table on my big toe and couldn't pull it together, calling Karl to come home from church to help me. He asked if I did it on purpose so I didn't have to carry everything in by myself ( :) ) It would have been tempting, but I assured him the pain wasn't worth it. The good news is that I have my first 5K this coming weekend and I ran this morning for the first time since the incident, and it felt fine. Whew! Speaking of running, my amazing sister Alyssa ran her first marathon this weekend in Buenos Ayres (she's a missionary in Paraguay) and finished strong! I'm SO proud of her. She started running minis about six years ago, which was amazing in itself, but now she just, once again, outdid herself. Maybe one day we'll run a 10K together...but I think that will be my highest goal in the running department.

Now for the really horrible news. We had another AWAA family lose their baby girl over the weekend. The Forrests were looking forward to picking up their two little children before Christmas and now, because of pneumonia, their little Etsegenet, is dancing with little Julia Joner in heaven. This is, of course, devastating. The Forrests have posted a beautiful hymn on their blog that so shows their hearts. Please be praying for them.

Also, I have not posted about last week's letter we received from America World telling of a significant fee increase. If we do not receive our referral before November 1st, fees will be increasing over $4000.00. If we do get our referral, we will still need to pay around fifteen hundred dollars in increased fees (I'm not sure the exact amount), but this was, of course, hard news to hear. While the significant fee increases are cause for struggles with anxiety, I am not feeling overwhelmed. God has been so good throughout this adoption process, and I KNOW He will continue to meet our needs. Do I know what that will look like? No. Will we be paying off this adoption longer than I had hoped? Maybe. But do I know that God is fully capable of accomplishing His will no matter the circumstances? Absolutely. Many people ask how it is possible for America World to do this since we signed a contact a year ago with other fees in place. From a legal angle, I think I remember that the contract said that awaa has the right to change the fees at any time. However, I'm not really thinking about it from that angle. The things I know are that Duni and the people at America World care about children. They have made personal sacrifices to work there. They work hard and believe in what they're doing. They believe, largely because of the growing program and the food/goods crisis around the world, that this is the only way to keep things going at the quality standard at which it's currently runnng. A significant fee increase is the only way to maintain their high standards. And because the money largely goes towards the orphan care over in Ethiopia, I fully understand and trust in what they've decided.

Blessings to you all. Please be in prayer for the Forrests, the families that are waiting to hear about passing court so they can pick up their little ones, those waiting to travel, all the adoptive families that are trying to plan for this fee increase in the midst of economic turmoil worldwide, and our precious little ones in Ethiopia.