Self-realization

We're doing a series in Encounter on identity. I feel like in a lot of ways, I know myself pretty well, but yesterday I had a moment of self-awareness that embarrassed me to death. I realized I was an impatient person, but I don't think I realized just HOW badly this lack of an attribute affected me.

After two e-mails in a row (from someone at the agency and our homestudy social worker) with undertones of exasperation for asking yet another question, I decided I really needed to chill out. So, that's what I will really begin working on: taking it easy, chilling out, being patient, resting...whatever you want to call it, I definitely need a few hundred lessons. And what a better time to practice that than during the long and sometimes frustrating international adoption process to bring our beautiful little Ethiopian girl home!

On a different note, I leave for an amazing week in Texas(I know this already, because it always is and I don't expect this year to be any different!) with my college girlfriends this Saturday. I couldn't be more excited, but Karl might appreciate some extra prayers. I'm honestly not sure how he's going to keep his sanity being a single dad when he's been so stinkin' busy lately he's barely making it with me around picking up the slack on the "family" end of things! He never complains--one more reason I love him--but it's going to be tough.

It's REALLY official

Karl says I'm obsessed, by the way. I think he's just frustrated because our other computer's in the shop so when I'm on this computer, he can't check fantasy baseball. Thank goodness that season is almost over :) (And I guess maybe I am just a teensy bit obsessed....I need to limit myself to a certain amount of time a day, it's just this is a newfound problem.)

Just wanted everyone to know just after Karl and I had a date with me saying, "I really wish we would have heard today!" we get home to the call from Katie that we're officially in the America World Ethiopia Program. Praise be to God!!!!

Also, a quick thing that Kole did today. I was sitting at the computer listening to the Sarah song (again) and Kole snuck off his spot on the couch and came over to give me a precious Koley kiss. Here's something like what passed between us:

Kole: "This song makes me cry."
Me: "Why, honey?"
Kole: "Because I want so bad to adopt"

From the mouths of babes....

Sara Groves. I Saw What I Saw.

One step at a time

Well, we have yet to hear from America World to be officially accepted, but I realize it just seems like it's been forever (since it was Saturday night of Labor Day weekend) and it's only been less than two weeks. If I'm struggling with patience right now, I can't even imagine what it will be like waiting for a referral! I think faith, patience, and trust might be themes for this adoption journey! I'm already sensing all of those in these last weeks and months.

Progress has been made, though! On Tuesday, I ran around Elkhart and the surrounding area (with Kole and Owen who were absolutely wonderful!) doing various errands and dropping off forms to doctor's offices, a friend, the social services building, all to prepare for our homestudy. It felt good to get things dropped off. We have a physical scheduled for Kole next week and Karl and I need lab work (and of course our doctor's office is taking a vacation until Wednesday! There's that patience thing again...). Karl may need a physical, too, but we shall see. I also scheduled the homestudy today for October 4th...need to check those smoke alarms, carbon monoxide alarm, etc! Ruth, the social worker, seems really nice and laid back, though, and comes highly recommended from our friends the Cannon's who just adopted three beautiful kiddos from Liberia, so I'm not overly concerned. I am concerned (although not really but Karl couldn't tell what with all my nagging) that Karl won't get the individual assessment done by the next Wednesday deadline I've given him :) Sometimes I just can't help myself (trying to parent my husband, I mean). The assessment questions are SO involved! I'm sure many of you may know what I'm talking about, but to give you a clue, I've already typed sixteen pages on this computer and I already have another section saved on Karl's and another handwritten. The good news is I only have about four pages of questions left to answer, so I feel like the light's at the end of the tunnel.

So, there's where we're at right now. It's SO wild and I'm SO happy and I'm confident that God is going to do great things through this new step of faith. In fact, I got an e-mail back from Pastor Dan at our church (in response to mine) that he'd like to sit down with me to discuss starting up some sort of adoption ministry at our church. I have no idea what that would look like right now, but I'm going to start doing my research to find out. More people need to get involved! Save the children, save the world. (sorry, that was a horrible take from "Heroes," but sometimes I just have funny things pop into my head and I can't stop)

I love Encounter (and Jesus!)

Last night at Encounter, Yemi had us spend 10ish minutes to take time with our Bibles (and, therefore, our Lord). I started out with Micah 6:8 where I'm reminded that it's not about the sacrifices we make--those things in our faith that can become empty traditions if our heart is not in them-- but on seeking justice, loving mercy, and walking humbly with our God. This is the verse that our new "Micah Project" is based on, which I'm really excited about: meeting the needs in our specific Encounter community and other needs within the community as a whole. Then, I decided to turn to James. I just remember loving it, but I didn't really remember what I was getting into. So, it talks over and over again about living your faith. One of my favorites on this topic: "Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles, and refuse to let the world corrupt us." Obviously, this hits a cord as we begin our adoption journey. Then, as I read in James 4, I was REALLY convicted by these words: "Look here, you people who say, 'Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.' How do you know what will happen tomorrow? For your life is like the morning fog--it's here a little while, then it's gone. What you ought to say is, 'If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.' Otherwise, you will be boasting about your own plans, and all such boasting is evil." (vs. 13-16). Need I say more? Well, yes, I will...this is my blog, after all! I was just horribly reminded that while we did feel God's leaning to adopt and the passion in our hearts, He is ultimately in charge and wants to take the lead!!! Me making all the plans without consulting Him every step of the way is not acceptable. I HAVE to start relying on him much more and realize that whatever happens, He is in charge, has our/my best interest at heart, and has much more able hands than I do. Man, spankings from God are so good AND hard....

So, I'm sorry, God, for my crazy self-reliance. Thank you for your Word, the Bible, that gently and firmly guides me and helps me come into greater and greater truth.

It's official

We have formally submitted our application to America World to adopt a precious little baby girl from the country of Ethiopia in East Africa. This comes after a meaningful and appreciated meeting with my parents so they might hear our heart and be up to speed with where we're at. And, since it's now almost midnight, I will be joining my already sleeping husband. Stay tuned as the adoption journey has just begun...........