News!

I only have two things to say:

1. Congratulations Howley family!!!!!! Their referral for a precious little girl that I can't WAIT to see came this morning just after nine months of waiting--after turning in paperwork, of course. They are ecstatic and emotional....and Emily has to get through the day teaching.
2. WE'RE NUMBER ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A brief update and some summer pics

Hey all! I have four minutes to make my goal and head up to bed, so this will be VERY brief, but I wanted ya'll to know that we're still #2 in line, although I have high hopes for this week. There have been NO referrals for two weeks now, so everyone is getting a little restless, but we're trying to be positive. I have heard too many stories about God's timing in the midst of adoption woes to know that He already has our little girl picked out for us and she will come to us in God's perfect timing. Don't worry, you, faithful readers, will be among the first to know! These pics are of our amazing staycation that we took at Mom and Dad's with the whole fam (minus my precious sister, Alyssa) in August. They include swimming, hanging out with grand and great-grandparents, and our adventure at the clay pits at the Warren Dunes. It makes me not ready for fall. Oh well. I do love all the different seasons, I'm just not ready for the end to summer!!! And these pics also make me miss Aunt Kristin and Uncle Jeremy who are now back in California while we pine away :) They are loved and missed. Okay, it's 11:00, and I made my goal. Peace and love!!!

Confessions of a Counterfeit Cocktail Waitress: Part II

As promised, I am ready to write my second installment of Confessions. Now, this one promises to be a little dicier (less fact, more thought), but I have two disclaimers before I get started. First, what is to follow takes nothing away from the ending statements of my last blog. The fact still remains that at this point, if given the chance, I would personally choose not to model for a gaming establishment again. This comes after my personal convictions that came to fruition while doing the job over a year ago, not based on any public opinion.

The topic of critical Christians is a tricky one; however, I think this provides a great opportunity to discuss, or at least hear my thoughts and then respond. Disclaimer number two is that this blog is not just a reaction against negative comments about me being in a gambling ad with alcohol on my tray. To be honest, I haven't had tons of negative comments. Actually, none to my face. I have heard rumblings, of course, and I have felt some judgment based on veiled comments and nonverbal expressions. But, this unique situation has made me think about an issue I've felt passionate about for a very long time, and I would be remiss if I didn't open the can of worms for all to peruse.

As I ruminated on this, I was reminded of a book I read many, many years ago by Rick Joyner. In The Final Quest, he describes a horrifying scene in "The Hordes of Hell are Marching." In this chapter, there is a vast army led by Satan himself. While they are marching against their Enemy, they also keep fighting against each other. Behind the army, there are prisoners more numerous than their captors. Joyner writes about his vision:

Occasionally the weaker prisoners would stumble and fall. As soon as they hit the ground, the other prisoners would begin stabbing them with their swords, scorning them as they did this. The vultures would then come and begin devouring the fallen ones even before they were dead. The other Christian prisoners stood by watching this approvingly, occasionally stabbing the fallen one again with their swords.

As I watched, I realized that these prisoners thought that the vomit of Condemnation [raining down on them from the demonic vultures] was truth from God. Then I understood that these prisoners actually thought they were marching in the army of God! This is why they did not kill the little demons of fear, or the vultures--they thought these were messengers from God! The darkness from the cloud of vultures made it so hard for these prisoners to see that they naively accepted everything that happened to them as being from the Lord. They felt that those who stumbled were under God's judgment, which is why they attacked them the way they did--they thought that they were helping God!

Does this resonate with anyone else? Let's widen this excerpt up a little and talk about unity within the Body (what a critical spirit breaks down) starting at one of the highest levels. How many denominations are there? I actually don't even know. MANY. Denominations, simplistically, form when there's disagreement in the church over doctrine. And then what do we Christians do? We criticize other denominations or, at the very least, poke fun at them. I am guilty of this more than I'd like to admit.

Okay, let's go a little smaller. How many people have either been a part of a church split, or know someone who has? I know Karl and I started dating during a nasty one--he stayed as youth pastor, my family left. I'll never forget the time I went back to the church (while Karl was still there) and someone actually said to me, "You're not going to take him away from us, are you?" Still today I know there are people that walked away from church (perhaps forever) because of the unChrist-like way Christians treated each other.

Finally, let's go smaller still. How many of us have been criticized by another Christian or been critical of one ourselves? I am guilty of this as well. It is so easy to do! We as people are so quick to judge, but THAT IS NOT OUR JOB!!! Over and over again Scripture talks about this issue. It is God who judges. We are commanded, first and foremost, to love--both God and others. Judgment, I have found, very rarely comes when love is at the forefront of my mind. Even in the case of sin (not gray areas), no one responds well to judgment. Just tonight I had a little example of this. I have a teenage friend that calls me Mom and Karl, Dad. She is very precious to us. Recently, she got in trouble with the law. She has just lately come back into our lives, so I didn't realize this. She didn't want to talk about it because she didn't want me to "nag." I said to her, "Do you know what you did was wrong?" "Yes," she replied. "Okay, then. No nagging required." "You're so sweet," she simply responded. I think the lack of judgment (demonstrated by not "nagging") spoke volumes to her.

Again, in the case of clear sin, most people know what they're doing/did is wrong. They don't need us to remind them. Of course, there are exceptions to this statement. There are times when, out of love, God may lead you to speak with someone dear to you about choices they're making that seem to be leading them down a dark path. We need the Body of Christ. I just believe far too often we speak out of self-righteousness or pride or fear or jealousy instead of out of love. When this is done, our words don't help people "see the error of their ways" and lead them back to the Lord, they drive them further away. And this isn't even addressing all the gray issues out there! For me, I think with gray issues, you keep your thoughts to yourself, unless asked. If the person isn't a believer, they don't want your unsollicited opinion on choices they're making that you disagree with. If they are believers, then they have the Holy Spirit within them to help with these very questions that may have different answers for different people. I believe God regularly leads one Christian to do one thing and another to do something totally different--even opposite! He is that big, powerful, and creative! We need to worry about our own obedience to our God, not everyone else's. So, if we say we trust Him, maybe we need to start acting like it, not just in matters of our own lives, but also those matters involving others. I, for one, think doing this will make things a lot less complicated.

This isn't meant to be a monologue. I would love to hear feedback from people. Examples, stories....it can be like a big *Encounter by way of the blogosphere....I can't wait to hear what people have to contribute!



*Encounter is Karl's Tuesday night service that besides having a worship and teaching component, has dialogue at tables interwoven throughout.

Confessions of a Counterfeit Cocktail Waitress: Part I

Some big news came out over the weekend. It has been creating rumblings for several months because of sightings at the Michigan City Outlet Malls and, in one case, an ad on the back of a baseball team's schedule that made it all the way to my friend in Grand Rapids, MI. This time, all of Elkhart (or at least those who read the Elkhart Truth) was able to see Danielle, pastor's wife and worship team member, happy mother of almost four children, modeling as a cocktail waitress for a large Bluechip Casino Advertisement. As you can imagine, there's been a stir.



I thought I would give a little background for those of you who are hearing this news for the first time. A couple of years ago my BF suggested I sign up with a Christian-based modeling and talent agency that she was involved with. The pay was excellent, and I thought it sounded pretty amazing to get paid to act, so I signed on. After no jobs in a year (Elkhart isn't exactly Chicago, people), I was a little disappointed; but then the call came. I finally had a job offer! GREAT! They paid well and I would be needed one morning in February 2007. Here's how the conversation went with Chantelle Casey, owner of American Model and Talent:

"Who is it for?"

"Bluechip Casino in Michigan City, IN."

"(Silent gasp and smirk, thinking "Oooo. This might be a little more complicated.") Outloud: "Who is my character?"

"A cocktail waitress."

(Silently. Double ooooo.)

"Could the outfit be questionable?"

"No. If it is, though, you can walk off the job. We'll support you."

Rebellious Danielle raises her chin and says, "Absolutely!"

More level-headed and submissive Danielle asks Karl what he thinks. As usual, he says something like, "It's up to you, but I don't have a problem with it. You may catch some flack if people see it, though, so as long as you're prepared."

"Okay, God. Sorry for that rebellious flare-up. Is this okay?"

No registered response.



So, I did the job. It was fun. I didn't mess up too bad (except when the guy in front of me hit my drink tray and I spilled and shattered its contents. Now that was embarrassing). I met new people and the photographer was complimentary. I really didn't think much would come of it considering the shoot was, I believe, two full days long and I was there for one morning, but I didn't know. I figured, at worst, I might get on some billboard heading into Chicago, where I'd seen other Bluechip ads, but how many people would really see it?



Back home, friends and I got some good laughs. Pastor's wife turned cocktail waitress. It felt good to not be so traditional and fundamental. It was edgy. I kind of like that image (eg my nose piercing six years ago.) I got a pic from Bluechip in the mail for my portfolio, and then I heard/saw nothing for over a year. In the spring of this year, my BF called from the Outlet Malls and said she saw me...then she texted me the ad. Now, that was a little higher profile than I expected. Elkhart natives actually shop at Michigan City...I might hear stuff about this. And I did, but not a lot. Mostly, I just laughed with people about it. Then, the stakes got higher.



My neighbor called me this weekend and said my picture was in the Elkhart Truth. That's when the shock and realization of the implications came into play. Since when did Bluechip advertise in my hometown newspaper? Has that ever happened before? Now I had absolutely no control over who saw my picture. It really was out there for all to see. It didn't help that this weekend I was singing on the worship team. It felt like I was totally exposed.



Karl was right. I'm getting some flack (stay tuned for part II). Would you do it again, some may ask? Actually, probably not, but maybe not for the reasons you may think. Do I still like that edgy image? Absolutely. Do I like to push people (especially conservative Christians) and make them think outside the box? Totally. Did I have that "something's not right" feeling the morning I modeled when people were out on the floor gambling at 8 a.m. and I thought about how I, by advertising for Bluechip, was encouraging people to participate in that? Without a doubt. In my mind, it's definitely a gray issue, but after that sobering thought that February morning a year and a half ago, I don't think I would do it again--even for some good money and the chance to be REALLY edgy.