Jehovah Jireh

It's hard to believe that the last subject title of my blog was "Summer is Here" and now my title could be "Summer is a Memory" or something similar. School starts one week from today and I have tons of mixed emotions. It really has been an excellent summer: hot, full, and fun. It has also been squelching, fearful, and limited, but it is the good things that rise to the surface, thankfully, as we look back. Here is what the boys would say when asked to describe the summer in a word:

• Braden: Awesome
• Kole: Fun
• Owen: Hot

I would say those are pretty good adjectives to make a mom feel good, right? Now, we just have to prepare for those early, long days that start one week from today. 3 kids at 3 different schools is a lot to coordinate for this somewhat scatter-brained mama, but lists will save me :)

On a different note, I wanted to write about my title for today: God Provides. Probably the best way to do that is to tell two stories, one that happened this past Thursday. You see, this summer we got letters from both of our insurance carriers that our monthly payments were going up approximately $500 total. This, of course, was devastating and so not only did Karl call our agent to see if he could find us some options, I also made an appointment with Medicaid to see what our options are in that department. Well, the day came for our appointment, and I showed up (at nap and lunchtime-1:00 pm) with all 4 kids in tow. Luckily, we didn't need to wait long in the packed room since we had an appointment and we were ushered back into a small cubicle with a caseworker. Let's just say the meeting didn't go well. I mean, granted, the verdict is still out since I didn't have 3 MONTHS of paystubs to show (silly me--I thought several stubs would suffice), but I wasn't encouraged. I was also tired, hungry, and overwhelmed (as were the kids). I just didn't know how we were going to make this work and I kept thinking.....and thinking.....and thinking (is the word obsessing, perhaps?!?) about it.

As I'm pulling into our home driveway, I stop by the mailbox. In it, I find a note by an anonymous individual saying thank you for all that we did to help at our last church and that there are many people that would love to help, including them, if we needed it. Enclosed was also a $75 cashier's check.

Now, I don't know about you, but that is God's incredible love (expressed through others)right there! Seriously! At a moment of despair and desperation, He shows up. As if to say, "No, you don't know how it's going to work out. But I'm here. And I care. And I have continued to and will continue to provide." Amazing.

One final story: months and months ago, Karl and I were talking about food stamps. I was excited about the possibility of having a significant amount of money to budget each month for food and was thinking about it during an unusually peaceful car ride. Out of nowhere, I thought, "You can do that, but then you will not be able to see how I provide." I felt like my thought was God's quiet voice telling me that in our situation, He would rather have us trust Him instead of the government. Now, PLEASE understand, I am only telling our story. Our experience. I am no so arrogant that I believe this is a blanket statement about social welfare. We are on WIC, after all, and looking into Medicaid. We know others who are as well. However, in our case--my case--relying on the government would be so much easier (and dare I say less amazing) than relying and trusting in God. He seems to want to build our faith in Him. ANYWAY, fast forward to July. Things were as stressful as ever even with God providing a part-time job for me, and so Karl and I revisited the issue of food stamps. We decided that we would lay out a "fleece" and say that if any money came in not from our jobs in the last half of the week (by Sunday) then we would take that as a sign that we were indeed supposed to continue trusting and not apply for the assistance. Well, Sunday came and I thought it was a done deal. The postal service doesn't deliver on Sunday, after all. But, after church I discovered in my diaper bag a significant check snuck in there by good friends that "happened" to be visiting that Sunday. Ha! What about That Guy?!?

I often hesitate to write about money. I hate the thought that there is anything in me that would describe our tough situation in an effort to manipulate people. Because when I search the recesses of my heart, I often don't like what I see. But this ongoing part of our story is just too amazing not to share no matter how much I worry about my "deceitful heart." So, I have been writing about the financial part of our story a lot in the past 8 months because God's story in the life of our family has often been seen through our finances. God is our provider and He continues to do it in amazing ways. Our kids....and Karl and I....will NOT be able to look back at this season (just as we've prayed and however long it lasts) and NOT see God's hand reaching out to us. It's just too obvious. May we be faithful with this story--our story--as God continues to do incredibly more than we could EVER ask or imagine!