Saturday, June 23


Today was a full day. I don't even know where to begin. It was the viewing and funeral of one of the most intense, fun, meaningful relationships in my life, our precious Ashli. Now, for those of you who knew Ashli, you will notice the absense in that last sentence of any word representing her humor, wit, etc. This is solely because in that department I have to say she is definitely the MOST hysterical person I know. She always used to catch me when I'd say "one of the." Instead, she had to be the MOST. Well, my dear, in the category of humor, you take the cake. The only person who may challenge you in that department is Ellen...and since I don't know her, you win. (You always valued my honesty, right?!?)

When I was at the viewing, Ashli's friend Candice mentioned that I hadn't written in forever; I decided tonight would be the perfect time to rectify that. The problem is, my brain feels so full and fried, that I don't know where to begin. So, I think tonight I will just make it short, in the hope that soon I will begin again to enter the blogging world.

To all of those dear friends and family of Ashli that I have had the chance to be around this week: what a privilege it has been to share in this sorrow with you. I miss Ashli desperately, as do all of you, and somehow being with you helped to ease the pain. There is something about collective sorrow that makes it more intense, but also more bearable. God really did desire us to be in relationship, didn't he? So, as Karl suggested today in the service, I embrace each of you. Thank you for the memories, laughter, and tears. Thank you for the authenticity. Thank you for the closeness...I only wish Ashli would have been here with us. She valued that as much as any of us, after all. She would have loved it, wouldn't have she? I love you, Ashli. The gap you have left in my life feels like a chasm that cannot be bridged.

1 comment:

AJLutz said...

I miss her. =(