Some December Pictures and Thoughts

I haven't posted pictures in way too long, so I thought I'd remedy that with some highlights from December. They are celebrating Christmas with the Riegseckers (my Mom's maiden name) with Grandma reading The Little Matchgirl to some of the "greats" as they call them, celebrating with the Lugbills (at night and the next morning), Gingerbread houses with our wonderful and silly neighbor Amy, and Kole's Christmas program for Salem Pre-K. Mrs. C has been both Braden and Kole's teacher and I can't imagine a more incredible person to teach my boys. I can't wait for Owen and Selah to have her too, Lord willing! We have just bought a new camera to replace our REALLY nice old one (we needed some money-go figure!-and were ready, for a season, to have a smaller point and shoot camera), but it's hard to get used to. There were many more "duds" to go through, so we're going to have to get better!

With my family going to Brazil/Paraguay, we were at our house for the first time in our married life on Christmas morning. It was a little lonely for me, but still good. Karl's mom, Pat, was with us for the week, so that was nice and Karl's brother and their family came down from Wheaton, IL Christmas evening for two days, which was also a treat. My family skyped the same evening, and even though it made me more lonely, it was good to see and hear them for some time on Christmas. The kids had already opened their stockings and we don't do nearly as many presents as Grandma and Grandad, but it was still special and just nice to be together. And it still felt like Christmas, just different then the traditional.

Of course, I also thought a lot about Selah. I listened to Third Day sing "Merry Christmas" (I bought it on itunes, actually!) about their adoption experience, and found myself wishing so badly she was here. We have gotten updates on her progress, and she's doing so well! She's growing great and her pictures are precious. The Burk family, who was just in Ethiopia picking up their precious son, sent me my new favorite photo of Selah. She's looking so big! I can hardly stand it. They said she's easy to get a smile out of, which warms a mother's heart, but we had only seen it once in a picture, so of course I was thrilled to see a second smile. I find myself battling between being so happy that she's growing, and wanting her to stay small so we can experience first hand her growth. Of course, I know I should just be 100% thankful, but it's so hard--something I don't even know how to verbalize completely--to know that your baby girl is so far away and experiencing so much without you! I find myself thinking, "I have no idea how I'm going to make it for another month until court!" And I don't even want to go there if we don't pass court. Ahhh! I know with everything in me that God will continue to sustain us no matter how hard and long our wait is (and I also know, comparatively, how incredibly short our wait has been), but it's like trying to anticipate tragedy before it strikes and realizing you could never handle it....and then it does and there is grace and strength for the moment. Do you understand the parallel I'm making? I know God will be faithful, I just can't think about the wait now or I literally think I start to go crazy!!! I really need God's grace to focus on the here and now and not wish away the next month or two (or three or four).

We have another full week trying to visit with out of town friends and family and enjoy our last week of no school. We are so blessed by all the people in our lives. Thank you for the part each of you play. If Selah was here, I think I would have actually sent out a Christmas card (gasp!), but right now I'm really hoping for an Easter card. Can you do that? I hope so! Merry Christmas, everyone, and Happy New Year!