Friday, May 7


I have been praying a lot for humility lately. A while back I noticed that three of the most highly esteemed characters in the Bible have their humility highlighted: John the Baptist, Moses, and Jesus. This is an area where I struggle. And because I know that pride, the opposite of humility, can lead to anyone's downfall, myself included, I pray. Desperately. Not so that I will be lauded as a great example of the faith, but so that God could have his way with me. Because even though I get so preoccupied with the things of this world, that is really what I want. And, God has been answering. Whether it's been little things like my vanity (have you seen my complexion & gray hair lately?!?) or bigger things like our financial situation, I feel myself changing.

Speaking of our financial situation, here's a funny and painful little story. So, I got our family on WIC the other day. It's a small way to get some basic nutritional needs met for struggling families who have children under 5 like bread, milk, cheese, eggs, juice, cereal, and a small amount of fruit/vegetables. Well, I thought I was totally okay with this. I mean, it's just a little help, right? Well, I was wrong. The first time I went to the grocery store with my voucher for these items, I thought I did everything right (wic is very specific, unlike food stamps where any food item is acceptable). Well, because of a special sale on half gallons of name brand milk, I realized, much to my dismay, that I hadn't gotten the cheapest type of milk. So, they had to go to the back of the store to right my wrong as I waited. The front of the store was packed (did I mention it's the nicest grocery store in our area?!?) and as the lady checking neared the front of the store, the teenager helping me called to her:
"Is that the cheapest milk?"
I seriously wanted to crawl into a hole. So much for being okay with some public assistance.... And one more small chance for me to learn humility.

The biggest area by far where God has been growing me in humility, though, is with the way we've been hurt by the church. I think this is the hardest thing, as well as where God wants to do the most work. In light of this, I picked up a book that had been sent to Karl by his old friend Dwight Robertson at Kingdom Building Ministries in 1999 after Karl witnessed a church split. It is entitled A Tale of Three Kings: A Study in Brokenness by Gene Edwards. I read it all the way through that day. Powerful, powerful stuff. Here's a quote that stood out to me:

"David....seemed to grasp a deep understanding of the unfolding drama in which he had been caught. He seemed to understand something that few of even the wisest men of his day understood. Something which even in our day, when men are wiser still, fewer understand.
And what was that?
God did not have, but wanted very much to have, men who would live in pain.
God wanted a broken vessel."
This is not the kind of stuff that makes for fun reading...or fun living, for that matter. But it is what God desires of us. It is what I've been praying for. And, by the grace of God, it is what we will learn in this continued time of waiting and seeking God.


Britney said...

I love you, Danielle.

Thank you for sharing the hard parts of life with us. I appreciate your transparency.

Jacquelynn said...

Hello, you don't know me, but I used to be myspace friends with Alyssa through a mutual friend in Villarrica, Paraguay. I've been thinking about her lately and would like to get back in touch, if I can. Could you give her my email or write me yourself for more info? I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks,


paraguayalyssa said...

Oh, D. I love you! You're my hero. Let's talk about this. I've been really interested, this semester, in the way our theology has changed re: suffering and defending our rights. I just wrote a paper, tonight, about John Calvin's perspective on meekness, arbitration, and loving one's enemies. Without exception, every theologian I've read up until 50 years ago saw meekness as being central to discipleship. Since then, meekness has become disdainful. I'm becoming more and more convinced that we American Christians are REALLY missing the boat on some things...

Pamm said...

We've been on WIC (and will be again soon). I know the struggle that comes with that. Standing in the line at the store with 3 kids and a pregnant stomach sticking out and then handing over my WIC folder- I know exactly what the store clerk was thinking. And when she yells, "I need a manager to sign this WIC folder! What!? Yeah- A WIC FOLDER!". Oh the test of pride is sooo strong right then. Hang in there, Danielle. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

Jeremy said...

You are so strong in your ability to take a bad situation and make the best of it. I admire that quality you have. You are still learning/improving yourself while being an example for those kiddos of yours. They see the attitude you have while your family struggles and this is an extremely important lesson. Keep slappin' that adversity which yo back hand.

Carpenters said...

Danielle, you have such an amazing heart. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. Selah is beautiful (as are you my dear, complexion? gray hair? pashaw). You have an wonderful family. Thanks for sharing.


krissilugbill said...

Danielle, you are amazing. I know you are guys are going through a ruff patch right now, but it is also a beautiful patch too, huh? You will look back on this part of your life years from now with a sum what strange sense of joy. You inspire me. I am glad you are my sis.